Toddler kissing problem - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 07-02-2014, 04:10 PM - Thread Starter
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Toddler kissing problem

I was looking for information on this issue and couldn't find anything anywhere (new here!). My son is 2.5 and can't kiss yet. When pressed to give kisses (or the once-a-month spontaneous kiss) he gives an open mouth slobber with accompanying "mwah" sound effect.

He's been right on track developmentally except for when he was learning to eat solid foods. He actually lost weight between wellness checks and we took him to physical therapy to try to teach him to use a spoon. The therapist agreed with me that it seemed like he still had the tongue thrust of a much younger baby. The therapy helped a little bit but mostly he ate a lot of bananas and other toddler finger food to get his weight back on track (not really sure this has anything to do with the kissing, but it's the only other issue he's had...).

Other than not being able to and/or refusing to kiss he's an exceptionally affectionate child (much more so than his sister, almost 4). He loved to hug and cuddles almost constantly and says "I love you" spontaneously so I'm not worried about him being on the autism spectrum.

I haven't brought this up with his pediatrician because we've recently moved and I didn't really consider it an issue at his 2 year check-up. Any ideas what the issue could be??
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#2 of 5 Old 07-05-2014, 02:45 PM
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At his age I wouldn't worry about this. However I would not encourage kissing if you feel it is not working for your son. I would tell the family that he is not up to kissing yet and that they should kiss him on the cheek and say "love you" and encourage him to say "love you" in return. Greeting others and kissing in families (or socially) is widely varied in cultures and families and it should not be a problem for you to suit yourselves on this matter.

What matters is in his heart and in the affection of those around him. There are many many ways of showing/sharing this! Focus on this & enjoy your son
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#3 of 5 Old 07-05-2014, 03:37 PM
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I wouldn't press him to give kisses if he doesn't want to, that seems like pushing personal boundaries in an unhealthy way. I was told I didn't kiss right as a child either, grew out of it eventually I guess. Though I've never been comfortable with kissing anyway, except my DH once in a while if I'm in the right mood for That kind. Kissing friends or relatives besides my own babies, while still babies, on the lips seems icky to me, and cheek kisses a bit awkward too, though I was raised around people who found it normal so it's personal not cultural.

The eating thing I would pay attention to, on the other hand. Giving him the chance to explore a variety of healthy foods, play with them even, and practice eating things in a low pressure fun situation would be priority. My middle son is tiny and it's hard to get food into him, I have to work hard every day to make sure he gets at least some veg and protein otherwise he would only have fruit, yogurt, and starches. Takes him forever to eat or drink anything.
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#4 of 5 Old 07-08-2014, 05:08 PM
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On the other end of the spectrum, my lo kisses everyone! He walked up to another toddler girl at the park the other day and randomly gave her a hug and kiss. The little girl's mom came out of nowhere and scolded him saying "you're not old enough to be doing those kinds of things." Way to kill his innocence lady mom.

If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much since it sounds like he's cuddly and not lacking any affection.
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#5 of 5 Old 07-08-2014, 05:11 PM
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You might want to bring it up at his new well child visit. It *could* point to an oral/motor issue, but if he's eating well now, gaining appropriately and talking as expected, then I wouldn't worry.
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