HELP!! 2yr old won't stay on a sleep routine! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 07-19-2014, 03:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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HELP!! 2yr old won't stay on a sleep routine!

okay, so I guess I should give some background first. My husband and I had to relocate to a different state because my job wasn't paying me enough. My husband is the domestic parent and was staying home with kiddo while I worked. Once we moved it was hard getting settled and we ended up moving in with my mother. My mother had suddenly lost her job when we got here and had to beg her sister for a job. Of course, this meant that we were staying in a hotel for the first 6 months until finally getting an apartment. Kiddo had her own room when we were living by ourselves and now she doesn't have one. It's expensive where we live and we could only afford a two bedroom apartment. My mother took one room and my husband, the child and I took the other.

My husband is a LOUD snorer and sharing a room was waking the kiddo. Also she decided she hated her crib and would scream bloody murder anytime she woke up in it, at times smashing her head violently against the sides and actually trying to crawl out of it. We tried putting her in the bed with us and for a short while it worked, however daddy's snoring became an issue. It's so loud that when he slept in the living room it would wake my mother (who was in no uncertain terms VERY upset) and started getting rude with us over losing sleep. She has the better paying job and such, and feels like she should get the lion's share of the sleep.

okay, so I took the baby's mattress in to the living room and started sleeping on the couch because she has started to have separation anxiety when it comes to mommy and the buffer of daddys snoring was better when he was alone in the bedroom though we can still clearly hear him its not as jarring and I can put the news on(the talking heads are like white noise to the kiddo and they often put her to sleep) which drowns out the rest of daddy's extremely loud snoring.(did I mention my mother snores as well? and yes we've tried the little nose strips they don't help).

Aside from the meltdowns when I leave the house for part time work, she gets up in the middle of the night and was experiencing night terrors for about two months. I got the night terrors to stop but at the cost of my own sleep. She's super clingy and her daddy takes off into the bedroom to play an online game as soon as I walk through the door. The kiddo just HAS to be with mommy. I spend all my free time with her and we play and snuggle every chance I get which is alot because the job is only part time, approx 15 hours a week.

So, I get her on a schedule which only lasts for a week maybe two and them BAM! out of nowhere she stays up all night or takes a long nap in the afternoon and the whole routine is screwed. She's only sleeping in four to six hour blocks and waking up at 1am when I put her down at 8pm. I'm getting strong criticism from friends about her sleep schedule and it's stressing both me and the hubby out. The child is feeling it as well like most little children do. I'm at my wits end, she has no room of her own to sleep in, and the upheaval has caused an undue amount of stress in all our lives. What little advice I have been given has been utterly useless, since nearly every one of my friends says just put her in her bed(of which she has a mattress) and tell her "it's bedtime" or some equally useless "stay firm" nonsense. The living room has sort of become her room and I sleep nearby on the couch. There is no real way to give her "her own room" and I'm at the end of my rope! I can't even give her a small dose of benedryl to help her ease into sleep, she's the like .01% that gets hyper with benedryl.

It seems like no matter how hard I struggle to get her on a routine, she won't stay on it. The pediatrician told me to let her get as much sleep as she could and the night terrors have stopped but now her routine is all sorts of messed up. Can anyone help me? I could use some ideas, I'm all out of them myself.
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#2 of 3 Old 07-19-2014, 04:26 AM
 
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Okay some of this may be utterly useless to you but I'll toss out a few ideas and hope something will help.

- If she's use to having her own room maybe hanging curtains around part of the living room could give her her own space. They could be pushed back during the day to not take up space but then be closed at night for privacy for her.
- Does she have a pacifier or has she ever used one? If she has had one before allowing it again may help her soothe herself in the new situation until she can adjust.
- Does she have a special blanket or toy? I would consider buying her a new stuffed animal or doll type toy to be her "bedtime buddy" and maybe even a new blanket (if she already has a favorite blanket then I'd leave it). This might help her have a friend to help her sleep at night.
- Try to find some way for you two to sleep next to each other either on the floor or the couch so she can co-sleep.
- Introduce a new bedtime routine. If she's waking up in the middle of the night going to bed at 8 then let her stay up later. Start bedtime routine at 8 or 9 and then watch a movie, read stories, etc for an hour or so before she goes to sleep around 9-10:30ish to see if she'll sleep better/later in the night.

I would also look into ideas for helping hubby with the snoring issue since that's a major problem here. I don't have any real ideas on that one though.

That's a lot of change and commotion in the new house for a toddler. It will likely take her a while to adjust and feel comfortable and secure in the new surroundings. I hope some of these ideas might help you. Maybe some other moms here will have some better ideas as well.

Michelle mom to DD , DS , & lil DD plus and spending my days
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#3 of 3 Old 07-19-2014, 03:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for the ideas. She used to have a pacifier, and we kept a few. I can try that as well as the curtain. Though it will take some re arranging of the furniture. I have a friend threatening to call Child Protective Services on me for having sleep issues and sharing a room with the kiddo. As for daddy and his snoring...maybe I can try playing the running water mp3 while she sleeps to help cover the noise. I bought one when she was a newborn to help soothe her to sleep. Thank you so much for the ideas. I never would have thought to reintroduce the paci.
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