My Toddler cries every time infant cries... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 08-16-2014, 08:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My Toddler cries every time infant cries...

Hello Everyone,

I'm new to the forum and am happy to have found a place to find advice and hopefully help others as well!

I have a daughter, who was 2 in April and a son who is 7 months old. From pretty much day one when we brought him home from the hospital, every time my infant son cries...sister cries as well. I thought this would get better with time, but it has actually gotten worse! I'm not sure if I am reading my toddler correctly, but it almost seems as if it makes her very mad and frustrated whenever he cries. As a result, she literally loses it...every single day, numerous times per day. It happens at home and/or in the car. I've tried explaining to her that brother is okay and he isn't hurt, but no amount of reassuring helps her. When he begins to even fuss a little, she starts saying "No, No"...and just gets agitated because she seems to anticipate what is about to come. Once he gets going and really crying...she is crying real tears herself, and completely out of control.

Naturally, I am very concerned because I'm not sure if she is crying because it makes her nervous, mad, or maybe if she feels she is causing it? Help!!!

Has anyone experienced this and if so, any advice?

Thank you!

Mammy52
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#2 of 4 Old 08-19-2014, 08:07 AM
 
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My daughter does this at daycare, with one of the other babies who has stranger anxiety. It goes like this: they are all happy and playing, and then someone's dad comes to get them. The other baby begins to wail at the unfamiliar face. My toddler looks at her and begins to wail. They said that some babies are like prairie dogs. One sounds the alarm and the others are like, OH! ALARM! SOMETHING IS WRONG!

Even if the thing wouldn't upset them otherwise. Julia seems to be just getting used to it and starting to ignore the other poor baby. It sounds like your kid is basically going through the same thing, only in this case, it seems that the crying itself is driving her mad. I get it! WhenI hear a baby just LOSING IT, my nerves go haywire too... She also probably has learned that baby crying means less attention for her.

I am not sure what I would do about it though... you have all my sympathies. How much does the little one cry? Is he colicky or just temperamental? Just trying to get a sense for how much this happens. Maybe sometimes when your partner is home, they can take the baby and you can give toddler 100% attention? That might soothe her anxiety if her worry is that she isn't as important anymore now that baby is in the house.
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#3 of 4 Old 08-21-2014, 10:48 AM
 
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My DD and her cousin used to do this tandem crying thing when I babysat. One would start, the other would start and then each would escalate in response to the other crying. It was at the same time hilarious and totally frustrating. They will STILL do it sometimes, at 4.5 and 3. My DD still gets VERY frustrated when other kids are crying. She blocks her ears, gets very agitated, will yell "Stop all that noise!!!" etc. I think it's a simple reaction to the noise itself rather than anything deeper. Anyway, I would suggest giving your daughter a hideout of some sort if she doesn't have one, a place where the sound will be muffled, and she has comfort objects to snuggle. Even earmuffs might help. My DD is always much calmer if she has a way to control the situation. Hopefully that will help your daughter, too.
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#4 of 4 Old 08-24-2014, 11:12 AM
 
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This happens in my house, too, or my oldest yells "stop crying!" I've had some success with saying things like, "Wow, your brother's cry is LOUD!" and then telling him he can cover his ears or go stand in the next room/on the porch where it will be a little quieter. Crying is loud - maybe she's not worried, could be just a little too loud. I know it gets loud for me!
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