Babysitting grandchild with a cold? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 09-03-2014, 07:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Babysitting grandchild with a cold?

So, really, is it that bad that I think grandma and grandpa can handle a happy, sniffly toddler?

My husband and I had arranged for his parents to watch our daughter this saturday afternoon so we could go to a local festival with our friends. We don't do this sort of thing often at all. In fact, it's the first event we've planned ahead and gotten tickets for since our daughter was born, I think. And these friends? We haven't seen them all together in almost 2 years. Needless to say we've been really looking forward to it!

Well, our daughter seems to have picked up a common cold. She is OK, just the usual runny nose and mild fever (never over 100).

Now, her grandparents (who are not feeble or immunocompromised) have told us they don't want to babysit, and I don't know if my feelings are reasonable, or just "butthurt."

On the one hand, I know parenting is about sacrifices and all that jazz, so I get it. I also understand not wanting to get sick. But we are by no means short on sacrifice, and basic hygiene has kept us from catching whatever she's got, so couldn't they too just wash their hands a lot?

On the other hand, I am very frustrated because things are always being cancelled in our family due to a mild sore throat, etc. It's hard to be understanding when this is maybe the 4th of 5th time they've cancelled on us for babysitting or a family outing due to "illness." Before it was always that one of them had a slight cough and got nervous. None of the times what it actually an illness.

Related, I also found out they used to let my husband skip school and play video games a lot to cure all manner of "mysterious" flus. Apparently, they take even the mildest of sniffles or tummy rumbles quite seriously.

My question to the community is mainly wether you all think it's truly wrong or unjust for us to want to still go to this event.

We won't go this time, since we have no choice, but I want to know if it's at all reasonable that I am really irked by how many times things get cancelled due to little things like this. I mean... don't kids get an average of like 4-7 colds a year? That's a lot of quarantines. Is it really that big of a deal?

I am worried because it's made me realize we have no back-up plan for in the future, when we may both exhaust the number of days we can take off of work, and then who will stay home with the baby? I had assumed we could turn to family for help, but now I feel like I need to be looking for a professional emergency sitter, and it's so hard to get a toddler to accept a new caregiver! We just went through hell and back to get her settled in at daycare.


I think I am just worried about the patterns this is setting is up for. They get very touchy when we don't plan enough time for them to spend with her, but then I feel like I can't count on them when I make plans. They've cancelled on me so many times!

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#2 of 2 Old 09-04-2014, 02:01 AM
 
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I don't think it is at all wrong for you to be disappointed at missing the event. But I also think it's reasonable for people not to want to mind a sick child. You catch a cold via aerosol transmission so just hand washing is no guarantee when you are having close, prolonged contact.

It does sound like they've made their position on illness/quarantining pretty clear so i think you will need to have an alternative, emergency carer lined up.


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