I don't know what to call this thread - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 6 Old 10-06-2016, 04:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't know what to call this thread

I have a 16-months old and an 8-year old. We started homeschooling him several months ago. I worked part-time till mid June and has taken a little break from work up to now. DH would stayed with both of them during my work days.

I guess the 16-month-old, she got so attached to me over the summer that now we have a problem. It might seem nothing to some, but she doesn't let me take even a step. She either follows me around and nags or asks to be picked up. If I sit down to do school work with my oldest, she comes and asks to be picked up, but then fidgets and snatches things. If we sit on the floor to do work, she comes, saddles me and looks for my boobs. I can't teach him because she tramples over us when not nursing, grabs school things, etc. etc. I can't do anything until she naps, and when she does, I try to teach, do stuff, etc. etc. I have recently run out of batteries taken that she still wakes up several times night.

I tried carrying her on my back when doing chores, she doesn't like it and scrapes my two moles I have on the back of my arm and neck and then starts pinching me.

I tried a play yard that I set up downstairs, so if I am in real need to do smth, and she doesn't let me, I take her upstairs and leave her in that playpen. SHe screams a bloody murder there for some 10-15 minutes I am doing my stuff.

I am about to start sobbing. And the worse part is that I do not want to end up having negative feeling towards her. But it's literally all day long - nagging ang nagging and not leaving me along.

If we go to the park, she is not interested, so nags and asks to be picked up.

We tried library and the mall playground - same thing. She gets there, and the only thing she cares for is me and my purse.

I almost think I might need to start taking her to an acquaintance we have that is a house-maker and takes care of another little girl, a year older, for two days a week. Maybe that will teach her to play with toys by herself and give me a chance to get my sanity back. I guess we would have to squeeze that into our budget. Because here, in the house, she doesn't care for toys. She loves taking stuff out of our bottom kitchen cabinets - granted that distracts her a bit when I cook, do dishes, etc. That's the reason I am not sure if I want to babyproof them.

I just don't know how to be able to do anything anymore. I am so grateful for everything I have and I am so grateful for her and love her so much, but I just think things got out of proportion, and I feel like I don't have any patience anymore.

I appreciate any positive thoughts and virtual hugs, but I would also appreciate any advice on what I could do at this point. Thank you!
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#2 of 6 Old 10-06-2016, 07:45 PM
 
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(((Hugs))). Clingy stages are tough. Small consolation, but it is just a stage and it doesn't last forever. You don't need to find a long term fix, maybe a friend or relative could just take her for a few hours to give you a break. But, don't do it to "teach her a lesson" (nothing will be learned here) , but DO do it to maintain your sanity.

Also, I've had luck with a little reverse thinking. She's asking for you for an unmet need. Some kids just need more attention. That's fine. So, maybe you should plan on giving her some one on one attention. You could try to smother her with attention until she's sure you're there for her and then she knows you're there and she can go off and explore.

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#3 of 6 Old 10-07-2016, 01:36 PM
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My friend went through this for awhile, and it did get better as her daughter got older.

Just remember its just a stage, and it will change. My son is almost too, and he's very attached to me calls my name all the time if I leave the room.

I can understand how difficult it's for you when you are trying to homeschool another child. That is very challenging.
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#4 of 6 Old 10-08-2016, 12:18 AM
 
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This article by an Australian LC and attachment parenting advocate might have some ideas
http://www.pinkymckay.com/loving-your-velcro-baby/


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#5 of 6 Old 04-12-2017, 07:35 PM
 
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I don't if you've had any relief yet. When my son when through this phase the best solution was to go to play group or visit with a group of other kids and parents. I just sat with the adults or quietly and read a book while he slowly got attracted to the other kids and new toys. Once he realized how boring I was and that I wasn't playing he eventually got more and more comfortable leaving my side to explore. Definitely baby proofing more at home helped him to be free to explore as well. I understand your pain, it's so claustrophobic to have no personal space!
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#6 of 6 Old 04-13-2017, 04:15 PM
 
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In many cultures around the world an 8-year-old would
be taking care of their younger siblings. Did you hear about
the 8-year-old boy in Ohio that watched a video on how to drive
a car and, while his parents were asleep, drove his little sister
to MacDonalds for a burger?
Perhaps part of your son's homeschooling would be lessons
on how to parent. To help you he could fill your bottom kitchen
cabinets each day with different interesting things for the little
one to toy with the next day or maybe your husband could do that
each evening.
Your son might be able to play with his little sister for periods of
time to give you a break. Maybe part of school with him could
be a discussion between you two of activities he would do with her
during which you would have some freedom. Maybe what he's
learning from you in your lessons with you could be the basis for
some little lesson he might try with his little sister. He could
help with chores too as that would help you and might be a lesson
in team ship etc..

"Let us put our minds together and see what life we can make

   for our children." ~ Tatanka Iotanka

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