For those with runners - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 07-16-2004, 05:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My ds is a serious runner, as in he runs away from me. MOstly he just does this in public, at parks and stores. He hates to walk with me and hold my hand, and often just lays on the ground. He wants me to carry him everywhere, and when I put him down he takes off. So, the problem is that I am hugely pregnant, due in three weeks. Today my midwife told me I shouldn't be carrying him around anymore because I might hurt myself, and of course I start freaking out in general about how I'm going to keep my son from taking off all the time. Am I doomed to have to stay home until he is a teenager? Anyone else figured out how to deal with this with a new baby and a very spirited two year old? By the way, we love to go to parks, and go almost everyday, or to the zoo or some other fun place where ds will at some point always run away from me giggling hysterically.

**I have tried many different gentle discipline techniques to get him to stick around ,but nothing seems to work. I have also tried the not so gentle discipline technique of yelling, in very scary situations, and that has not worked either. So, it's probably developmental. Ack what do I do?????

, mama to DS(7/)22/02) DS (8/14/04) , and an angel (3/10/10)nursing a broken heart...loving my boys.
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#2 of 9 Old 07-16-2004, 05:49 PM
 
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I know the topic of leashes is rather controversial around here, but personally I think they have their place. I've only ever actually used ours in an airport, but if I were in your situation I might be inclined to use it in stores and parking lots as well. However, what I have isn't the common nylon strap wrist leash or harness. I found a really cool brown leather harness with bells. Talia got a big kick out of wearing the bells.

Or, does he like riding in a stroller? Talia *loves* riding in the stroller, probably because we use it so very rarely that it's a novelty. We went to the zoo the other day with her friend Brendan, my mother, my sister, a girlfriend and myself. Two extremely pregnant ladies, one older lady with what her doctor thinks may be fibromyalgia, and two toddlers... really, only one of the four adults was physically suited for carrying either child for any distance. We took my sling plus a stroller just in case. The kids fought over who got to ride for half the visit. Here we thought we *might* use it for one sleeper for the trip back to the car...
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#3 of 9 Old 07-18-2004, 12:33 PM
 
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ITA agree with the leash suggestion. People who have a problem with them do not have a child like yours (or mine). People said, why don't you just hold her hand? well you try it! mine did exactly like yours - either run away or lie down in whatever mud was available. Also screams like fury when put in the stroller.

So I did the leash when I was really pregnant. I still had to follow dd around, but at least I knew she couldn't run into traffic. You learn very quickly that you still can't get them to go where you want them to go - you still have to encourage them for that, or maybe hold their hand... but when they run away, you can stay pretty close, and at least maybe slow them down. You still can't stop them - yank on the leash and they just fall down, as I discovered when my daughter ran straight into the road... aaack! at least a scraped knee was better than being run over. But still. Horrible. With my son I got him used to it by putting it on him and then just following him wherever he went, and he gradually thought, maybe it's not such a bad thing. (While I was doing this though, I got some looks... child in leash screaming and tears rolling down... not a good picture of family bliss!) If you give them enough control and freedom even while in the leash, you can strike a nice balance between freedom and safety eventually.

good luck!
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#4 of 9 Old 07-18-2004, 12:40 PM
 
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If the child doesn't mind the "leash" use it!! If they do it won't work anyway!!!!!!!!!!!! My DS has taken off including into the middle of a street in Manhatten!!! So I understand!!

I have kjnown thipose who have successfully used these things til the child outgrew the running off phase. Which is worse: a missing or injured child or a string giving them freedom and safety?

Sure, it is not for all or even most kids but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do!
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#5 of 9 Old 07-19-2004, 06:59 PM
 
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I don't have a problem with safety straps. I have a variety of slings, a stroller, a backpack carrier and the safety straps. What I use depends on where I'm going. My dd is 18mo. For example, on the weekend I went to a yard sale that was on a busy main street. I put the safety straps on her because she wanted to run around and look at stuff. I wanted to look at stuff too and I couldn't while holding her hand. If I tried to hold her hand, she'd try to pull away (for some reason she feels holding her hand is restraining her) yet she doesn't seem to mind the safety straps. And the stroller just seems to challenge her to climb out of it these days.
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#6 of 9 Old 07-19-2004, 07:09 PM
 
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I agree. When it comes to safety it's worth a try. I like the idea of using the bells. If you can't find a "leash" with bells, maybe you could securely attach some by hand.

My friend recieved a harness at her daughters first birthday party and took it as an insult, but then again, she hasn't experienced a spirited toddler yet.
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#7 of 9 Old 07-19-2004, 07:17 PM
 
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I could have written your post exactly (except that I am due today ). My dd will be 2 tomorrow and is a runner and stroller hater. I have used the Maya as a harness with some success, though I keep forgetting to take it with me when we go out, so I usually end up taking my sister along to corral her instead. I find that when I harness her, she is sooooo much happier. She can still explore but is not tied to me or strapped in a stroller (which brings up a point I will never understand; I don't know how people think a harness/leash is any more "cruel" than a stroller -- they serve the same purpose).

Quote:
ITA agree with the leash suggestion. People who have a problem with them do not have a child like yours (or mine).
ITA!!! I'd love to trade toddlers with a leash-basher for a day at the mall and see if her opinion changes.
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#8 of 9 Old 07-19-2004, 08:04 PM
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I always shook my head (inwardly) at the moms with their "leash babies", when I was young and didn't understand the terror of watching your child charge into a crowd/toward traffic. It's better to be judged by judemental people (it gives them purpose in life, anyway) than to end up with a hurt/missing child. I'm 8 months preggo and I can't even carry Olivia from the car to the house some days.
Let people shake their heads. I say screw 'em!
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#9 of 9 Old 07-20-2004, 10:32 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by morgan's_mom
She can still explore but is not tied to me or strapped in a stroller (which brings up a point I will never understand; I don't know how people think a harness/leash is any more "cruel" than a stroller -- they serve the same purpose).
That's a really good point. I'd never thought about it like that. I rarely use my stroller, only if I have to go out when dd is tired and it's not practical to carry her in the sling. I usually go for the safety harness over the stroller because it also allows her more exercise. Otherwise you end up with scenarios like 'wake up, SIT in highchair to eat, SIT in carseat to go somewhere, SIT in stroller, back again SITTING in car seat to go home. Too much sitting I think.

I've never had any nasty comments from using my safety harness. A lot of people laugh - I think cause it looks rather funny, like walking a dog? and other kids point and ask thier parents about it. But I've never felt condemnation from using it. Not that I'd care anyway
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