Yep, we're still here~Nov/Dec '02 mommas&babies~ - Page 21 - Mothering Forums

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#601 of 647 Old 10-27-2004, 08:27 AM
 
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Originally Posted by casina
mona, what do you do when you have to pee and dd is playing outside? do you feel your yeard safe enough to leave her for a minute? maybe you can compromise: enclose a much smaller space by the door and near a window where you can see her and make it so she can use the door to come in herself.
i have no prob doing this when we are in the back yard- the part that is fenced in.

but usually we are down the street at the park, or at a neighbors yard. i've almost gone into the buses a couple times, but our neighbors like to spy out their windows at this strange mama. :LOL

oh, and what you said about dec sun's therapist- i totally agree. it pissed me off too. dd still has her own verbage. sometimes she uses english, but often she prefers kathrynn. makes my job harder, but oh well. :LOL
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#602 of 647 Old 10-27-2004, 10:34 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Mona
i also give her lots of warning, start mentioning it awile before it happens, then try to give her something she can relate to time wise to let her know that it is time to leave. like, one more xyz, then we are going home.
has anyone tried the stop watch thing? where you set a timer, and when the timer goes off it symbolizes that it's time to leave? i've been thinking about that approach...

Perhaps you're warning her too far in advance. As in ok erin in 15 minutes we're leaving? My erin doesn't need 15 minutes. She needs 2 minutes and then OK last slide and then it is time to go inside. She also needs for us to be really consistent. Last slide really has to mean LAST slide or the next week is her checking to see if she can get away with it.

I have friends who really like the timer. My own issue is that I don't think I could remember the darn timer every time we go outside.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#603 of 647 Old 10-27-2004, 02:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by casina
ruby was born nov 19, i think that's on the cusp?
Ruby, like BeanBean, is a scorpio.

Scorpio= 22/23 Oct- 21/22 Nov
Sagitarius= 22/23 Nov- 20/21 Dec
Capricorn= 21/22 Dec - 20/21 Jan

(Approximately, at any rate.) I told Mike flat out that we would not be TTC at any point that might result in a capricorn delivery, because I don't do well with capricorns, especially men.

Mona, I read over your post again and I was thinking-- you mention that it's time to come in because Kathrynn needs to eat or because you need to use the bathroom or make dinner. Why does Kathrynn need to eat at a set time? Is it really that important, or can it slide? Can you two work out some sort of schedule where you'll both get what you actually need? I have a hard time with needing to use the bathroom too, but if I'm going to take BeanBean to the park or something I make an extra effort to use the bathroom before I go because I know he won't want to leave for something so trivial. (I also make sure *he* goes before he leaves, because he tends to get involved at the park. :LOL) If he says that he's not hungry, though, and he'd rather be playing... well, I can understand that. There have been times when I was so involved in something I was doing that I didn't want to stop to eat or use the bathroom, and when I finally sat down at the table I realized I was ravenously hungry or that I desperately needed to pee. :LOL I can't expect BeanBean to know himself better than I know myself; he's only two, you know?

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#604 of 647 Old 10-27-2004, 02:46 PM
 
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on the chart stuff... its not nec when you where born that will impact the most. the other aspects are equally important, and revealing. just a bit of FYI

eilonwy-
thanks for the feed back. nothing, well almost nothing, is set in stone around here. there is no set time for anything. :LOL i "try" to have dinner done by a certain time when it is my turn to cook, and i also "try" to be present when dinner is ready when someone else has fixed it. mostly out of respect for others. but again, nothing is set in stone around here.
i try to bring food along on our excursions, but sometimes they happen w/o warnring. and speaking of, i have to go to the bathroom like a million times a day. i eat really pure, so food goes in and out of me quick. sorry for the too much info on that one. :LOL perhaps i need to make more effort at making sure i have gone to the bathroom before leaving the house. i often get caught up in dd's momentum for leaving, and forget about things.
i will try some of the things mentioned in the next few days and see how it goes.

thanks everyone!
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#605 of 647 Old 10-27-2004, 05:55 PM
 
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I'm here but I don't seem to have anything to say.
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#606 of 647 Old 10-28-2004, 05:37 PM
 
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solsticemama, how are you feeling about the night wakings / the prospect of night weaning these days?
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#607 of 647 Old 10-28-2004, 06:10 PM
 
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A timely question punk. Of course, when is it not timely? :LOL Ds is still nightnursing alot. It seems to fulfill a need beyond nutritional since he's 32 lbs! I can't see myself denying him that any time soon. But oh, mama, some nights are just exhausting. And I'm not my best at 3 or 4 or 2 or 5 a.m. YK! It's not like that every night but enough nights that it's not uncommon. A really restive night definitely affects my mothering the next day so I'm in a real quandry. I'm probably going to hold off till he's at least 2. I dunno why I've chosen 2. It's not like suddenly he'll be agreeable to it then. He's definitely got the language skills to understand that 'beuf goes night-night' (and tell me what he feels about that :LOL) but it still seems such a strong need for him that I can't see it being a very peaceful transition at this point.

How are you feeling btw?

Anyone's dcs sharing their dreams with you?
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#608 of 647 Old 10-28-2004, 06:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My DP thinks I should wean haeven. And look at you ladies. It seems like the end isn't in sight, hey? I guess it's different for me because I have a 4 month old who needs the milk more than haeven. I'm constantly nursing the two of em'. When haeven wakes up in the middle of the night to nurse, I just say no, and she's gotten to the point now where 9 times out of ten, will go back to sleep without a whimper.

Dreams? Haeven doesn't talk that much yet.

Are any of you getting pressure to wean your DC?
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#609 of 647 Old 10-28-2004, 09:30 PM
 
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Owen is all but weaned, even though there seemed to be no end in sight 2 months ago. It's amazing how fast they change. He's doing well...he's doing the leading so I don't feel bad about it. I only find he asks if we're sitting and doing nothing. If he's kept busy, he doesn't even notice. We're going once every 2-4 days.

We've made a huge decision in our lives as well...we are going to be homeschooling Jacob. I'm so excited to do it too! Since next friday is the end of the quarter at school, it's a logical place to end.
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#610 of 647 Old 10-28-2004, 10:32 PM
 
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Ooh, that sounds exciting Rachel! I was homeschooled and it was fun. I loved the traveling my family did.

Solsticemama- sometimes first thing in the mornings Zachary will talk to me in gibberish and it seems like he's remembering his dreams. So when I catch a word that I understand I repeat it and say "Oh, you dreamed about birds [or whatever] last night?" And he kind of thinks it over, so I can't wait to hear aout his dreams when he can explain it all!

He talks in his sleep quite a bit. Once he said "puppy!" and he osunded so happy. Another time he said "Bye bye train!" so we assumed he was dreaming about Thomas. And another time he said "Bye bye!" in his cocky tone of voice- the one he uses when he's talking back to me. He tells me "bye bye" when he doesn't want me to tell him "no." :LOL

Gotta go, my battery's gonna die...

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#611 of 647 Old 10-28-2004, 10:45 PM
 
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I'm glad you liked it Leah. I hope Jacob does too. I'm very pumped about it--I have so many ideas already. Hopefully they'll all go smoothly with a toddler in tow.
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#612 of 647 Old 10-29-2004, 12:28 AM
 
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i find homeschooling just an extension of the mothering i've been doing. it's always exciting to know about decisions to homeschool i'm so glad for you brayg, and i'm curious about your experiences december sun.

rose, sorry the nightnursing is not feeling sweet. jaza, part of the slinging for me was that it kept me from sitting down which made me a perfect target for nursing the elder all day. unfortunately that means i now have to make myself sit down occasionally because i forget to do it aside from nursing.

i'm in a strange transition with recovering from broken ribs and pneumonia. i got a cold this weekend and am currently flattenned by this period. but my mind is "clearer" than it has been in months. it is making me crazy. i suddenly see all the responsibilities i have been not doing and that my body and time still cannot make do. i couldn't sleep last night thinking about durned holiday presents because i'm tired of the problem catching me last minute. i know i'll find a balance one of these days, especially since i am disgruntled and it is affecting my mothering. i was more pleasant to deal with when i was just too sick to fuss at them. bleah!

saturday i'm going to a funeral for one of the local homeschool dads. he died suddenly in nigeria - he was sent there for work a few months ago. their 15 yr old son died suddenly six months ago - he had cerebral palsy and could not talk but could walk and move and think and write intelligently. so there's a ten year old daughter and the mamma. she blew me away the other day with her mamma powers when i went to visit her. after watching my son clay interact for a few minutes, she commented that i would need lots of luck continuing to unschool with him (that he would probably crave more structure). meanwhile, apparently the best playmate for ruby is a ten year old girl. everytime i get near one they become best of friends and i get a nice breather.
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#613 of 647 Old 10-29-2004, 12:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Good point, Casina~
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#614 of 647 Old 10-29-2004, 08:56 AM
 
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No pressure to wean here.. Quite the contrary, I think Mike would be so depressed if I tried to wean BeanBean! He loves the way it helps him relax and such. In fact, I feel the urge to say no to BeanBean all the time, and I don't think that Mike even understands it. He says "of course he thinks the world is ending when you reject him like that." Argh, the agony, though! I'd give my eye teeth for Mike to be able to nurse BeanBean. He actually latched on to Mike a few nights ago for about a minute and a half and really tried to nurse (I went to the store with BooBah). Poor kid, he really wanted his Mamma. *sigh*

The problem is, he's doing :flyby nursing all the time and it irritiates me something fierce. : I wish he'd nurse or put it away, I don't like the back and forth deal. It's too much work with BooBah around, you know? Still... I am glad that I'm tandem nursing! BooBah has had a few growth spurts, but because I am nursing BeanBean, she has never had to have marathon nursing sessions to bring in more milk-- BeanBean does all the "hard work" and BooBah just slurps up the results. If BeanBean latches on to an "empty" breast, he's more than willing to sit there nursing for an hour anyway. When he was a baby, the milk always came too quickly for him but now he's just fine with the speed, be it fast or slow.

If only there was some way to tandem nurse without nursing through pregnancy....that would be the perfect arrangement!

Rachel-- homeschooling is so much fun! I absolutely love it. I'm homeschooling my niece and it surprises me how much BeanBean picks up (I'm not doing anything formal with him). The other day I was reading a poem with my niece and BeanBean interrupted to say, "Caterpillar ends up a butterfly. 'Caterpillar' is a noun!" It was so cute! :LOL They're both really enjoying it.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#615 of 647 Old 10-29-2004, 11:52 PM
 
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Typing in the dark, so pardon any typos.

Kids are doing well, love 'em more each day, nothing new to "report"...

The wetaher's getting chilly here. I wish I could invite you all over for a cozy tea party.

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#616 of 647 Old 10-30-2004, 11:01 AM
 
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I am having a hard time with nursing Mariah right now
It is quite painful at this time. I allow her to nurse with no restrictions during the day though. Our nursing relationship is so important to me... and there are so many other changes in our lives right now, that I want our nursing to be a constant for her.

I've recently come to the conclusion though, that I don't want to night nurse anymore, and that that is okay. Night was becoming a nightmare for me. It would take an hour or more to get her to sleep and then there were nights she was up six or more times. Every so often she'd only wake once, more often only twice, and so I knew she was capable of sleeping through the night, you know? I can't sleep when she nurses at night right now (because of the pain) so I was miserable and sleep deprived and NOT being a kind and good mama through this. I decided it would be best for us if we both got a good night sleep insetead So I bought the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and we started a night time routine.... It has made me realize how sensitive Mariah is. On a regular night now she is out in ten minutes (I nurse her down) but if we deviate from the routine in even a small way, we are back to an hour to get her to sleep. At night, I will still nurse her if she is really upset, if other things don't work, but the sessions are much shorter.It is working out well.

I finally talked to my dp very honestly about all this, and I told him there is no way that I can be getting up six times a night with Mariah and getting up with a newborn and keep my sanity. For me personally, that is not possible. We talked for a long time about all of this and he is finally understanding how hard it is on me. He is actively helping me now, he pats her back and talks quietly to her and its working, which has me ecstatic! He even slept next to her last night, instead of me and I dreamnt long and involved and intense dreams for the first time since her birth.

Oh and Casina, you were absolutley right, she needed to go to bed much earlier. She is now in bed by 7p, sometimes earlier. Also, I have read that white tea has something in it that works to kill the bacteria that causes pneumonia. It's expensive tea, but if you can find a place that sells it in bulk that is the way to go. Take care of yourself mama. I am so sad to hear about your friend's family. I can't even imagine losing my son and my husband all in six months.

Congrats Rachel on your decision to homeschool

hmm. i think that's all for now December Sun, I wish I could take you up on your offer

Heather, how are things with you these days?
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#617 of 647 Old 10-30-2004, 02:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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punk~ I know how you feel. I was not very nice some times when I was pregnant. Just remember that this too shall pass, you are doing an awesome job. What do you think most other parents woould do when the mom got pregnant? The "baby" would be weaned like that*. Are you planning on tandeming? It's good that your DP "gets it" now. I hope you are getting all the help that you need.
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#618 of 647 Old 10-30-2004, 07:08 PM
 
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punkprincessmama-

I commend you for going this long like that. GA was like that AND I work 3 days a week. I was a complete basket case. I finally nightweaned her at 15 months with the Dr Jay Gordon method. It has been working great I nirse her only if she wakes up after 4 am (which she does like clockwork ...... so I can see how much was habit) Lately though she has been up every hour again ..... I have been holding to the no nursing until 4 but I am still loosing sleep again......better this than being up at night when they are teenagers wondering what they are doing I guess

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#619 of 647 Old 10-31-2004, 01:44 AM
 
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This whole nursing thing is what's really holding me back from getting pregnant again. I don't think Zach is ready to give it up yet, and I don't want to nurse through a pregnancy. I'm ready to wean him, but I don't want to make him sacrifice his comfort for my maternal callings, LOL. Not to say that he CAN'T give it up- if I actually put a little effort into it I think he'd probably take to it ok... But I'm lazy and it's just easier to give in to him and nurse him! I love asking him if he likes bobby milk and he says "Mmm hmm" It's just not time to quit yet, I guess. We have plenty of time...

I can only imgaine how "easy" it'll be to only have ONE baby next time. I'm so used to having Zach and Julianna (2 months apart) at the same time, I think I'll really enjoy spending so much uninterrupted time with my next baby!

s to you punk. You are a great mama!

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#620 of 647 Old 10-31-2004, 02:48 AM
 
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well mama's, i'm going into night 4 of nightweaning. i think it's really going to be okay! i thought razi would seriously flip out but he was a little sad the first night but now when he wakes up i just go lay down next to him and he falls right back to sleep w/o even asking for 'dee'. we go till about 5 am, which is perfect cuz i start getting pretty full by then :LOL
i think i need to check out the no cry sleep solution though cuz it takes about and hour to get razi to sleep latley. what bugs me most is that i usually end up falling asleep too! 8 is a little early for me to go to bed.
i actually have been feeling really empowered by the nightweaning. now i'm not the only one that can put razi back to sleep. not that i'm really planning anything but i feel like i'm getting a small bit of my own freedom back. don't get me wrong, i love nursing but it left the excuse that i was the ONLY one who could do anything for razi. you just shouldn't feel like you're the only caregiver when there are 2 of you around, YK?
i really think razi is fine w/o a sibling for now. i can't even hold another baby w/o him getting upset. i was told by 'someone' that he would be fine as an only child til he was about 5. which is good cuz i think it will probably be awhile till i feel like i know if i want more kids with dh. i definetly want more but...well i'm trying real hard not to say something mean about h so i'll just stop here :


it's really chilly here! we got another snow storm the other day. i have a pic of the san fransisco peaks but i'm not sure how to post pics just yet. but they are goergous (sp?)
leah, i know you'd appreciate them
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#621 of 647 Old 10-31-2004, 10:50 AM
 
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thanks for the hugs mamas
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#622 of 647 Old 10-31-2004, 11:32 AM
 
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cuz it takes about and hour to get razi to sleep latley. what bugs me most is that i usually end up falling asleep too! 8 is a little early for me to go to bed.
I hear ya, mama! This has happened the past couple nights. I end up waking up about 11 or 12 fully dressed, teeth unbrushed etc. I have to get up and do all that plus turn off lights and turn on nightlights etc. Sometimes dh is asleep and sometimes not. It's hardest when ds wakes too and cries if I try to leave the bed so then he has to come with me while I do all this and he's 3/4 asleep at the time. Still, it means that I've been getting more sleep which is a good thing

Sarita, your post is encouraging. I'm glad to hear it's going well with Razi. I know we talked about it in August when we were in the PNW. It's hard to imagine ds giving it up so peacefully. I've been waking at 4:30 the past couple mornings and unable to get back to sleep so I've been musing on nightweaning and how it might go. I guess I want it to be a seamless transition with little or no crying and this doesn't seem realistic right now so Has Razi's daytime nursing changed at all?
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#623 of 647 Old 11-01-2004, 02:31 AM
 
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well i can't say that the nightweaning was the most perfect time or situation. a few nights ago my boobs were just completely numb. they felt numb inside and when i touched them they were numb on the outside. i felt like they were yelling at me!! so that was the night. no premeditation or anything. there has not been an increase in day time nursing or eating. which kinda worries me cuz he eats so little. but it was definetly easier than i thought. so take heart, solsticemama, when the time does come. i felt like our dc's were fairly equally boob crazy. :LOL (maybe yours is just a month behind )
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#624 of 647 Old 11-01-2004, 01:21 PM
 
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hi all, just found this thread. i'm darcelle, mommy to kae ming 23 months old. married for 2yrs and some now. she's not nursing anymore, she stopped at 15 months and she doesn't sleep in our bed anymore either (she thinks she's grown).
ming is climbing a lot now also, and talking a whole lot. it's to the point now where i'm more tired than she is at the end of the day. cuz i get up an hour before she does so i can bathe and get some mommy time, then we go out and do our activities, playdates and what not. nice to meet you all!
Darcelle
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#625 of 647 Old 11-01-2004, 01:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Trini girl.
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#626 of 647 Old 11-01-2004, 01:57 PM
 
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to the group and to the boards Trini Girl

a few things I've been thinking about and meaning to say :

Mama Jaza, I love the link in your siggy, please feel free to spam me I've allready sent it to a few people myself

Eilonwy, I'm so glad that you are homeschooling your niece. I remember you posting awhile back that you wanted to but weren't sure if your sister would agree. I'm glad it all worked out.

I can't remember who brought up our babes and their dreams, solstice mama, was it you? Mariah isn't talking about her dreams, but I do think she has had a few bad dreams lately. She wakes up suddenly, crying, really really upset and pointing sometimes at the ceiling. I'm wondering how to explain the concept of dreams to her?

Saritasmile, it's nice to see you around again

Casina, hope you are taking care of yourself and feeling better mama
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#627 of 647 Old 11-01-2004, 02:54 PM
 
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punkprincess.. i was actually the one who found that radical parenting article and i posted it on the activism board a while back. im glad that jazz is using it as a sig thoug, so even more folks can read it. i found it on the girlmom forums, incase you want to check that site out. its pretty rad.

i dressed elwynn dressed up like a little black cat for halloween..we walked around town and didn't see much. heard lots of fire works and felt like i was living in a war zone. we trick-or-treated at one house and he got scared and we got a bag of ketchup chips..YUCK. it was a pretty uneventful night all in all..

elwynn tells me when he gets scared now about things. like when i get up in the morning to pee he runs after me and says "scared scared!" akk! ive rarely even left him for hours at a time. but he acts like he's scared that ill never come back from the toilet. i just dont get it. as for dreams..he laughs in his sleep often. sometimes he wakes up scared like he doesnt know where he is but he will nurse all fall asleep again quickly.

im trying to night ween him. i rub his back and sing to him. once in a while he will nurse to sleep but mostly he just rolls onto his belly and falls asleep. yesterday when we were getting our costumes on ( his dad and i were elves) he was sitting on the couch and next think i knew he had fallen over and was fast asleep. i cant rememeber the last time he did that.

 

 

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#628 of 647 Old 11-01-2004, 03:00 PM
 
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Hey mamas! I'm always keeping up with all of you but find little time to contribute!

Hugs to you PUnk with the nightweaning. I'm thinking in the back of my mind that I'll have to nightwean ds early on if I get PG this winter. SLeep is so precious when you're preggers!

Tyson swallowed a penny Thurs night while I was at work. Dh is beating himself up over it and I am glad it happened on his watch and not mine. ANyway, I'm looking through the poo and so far no penny. The Dr said give it 4 or 5 days and if it doesn't pass they'll do an x-ray to see if it's caught up somewhere. I've been reading online about pennies being made of zinc and causing big problems if they don't pass in a couple days. Well, this is day 4 so we're getting nervous. Mainly I just know an x-ray will be traumatic. This is the kid who freaks out about getting his pictures taken at Penny's. He just sensitve and I typically honor his sensitivities. I hate when something comes up that we HAVE to do. I'm giving it till Wed morning and then I'm calling the doc.
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#629 of 647 Old 11-02-2004, 01:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for noticing my siggy, punk. And it's true, fern showed me the site. I just wanted to differentiate myself from the "conservative-crunchies" () on this forum.

Bethkm......... I *really* hope you find that penny!!!!!! You'd think our babies would be over the "oral" stage by now, hey? Haeven has been sucking on things off of the floor recently as well ()
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#630 of 647 Old 11-02-2004, 01:57 AM
 
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well mama's i'm pretty excited for razi's birthday tomarrow! he's the youngest in the group of mama's i hang out with so i think he'll be excited to hear 'happy birthday' himself. i got him a little wooden table with 2 chairs (made locally, yay!) he's been real into a friends (has a similar one)

Yikes about the penny. i let razi play with money sometimes. (that sounds really bad) probably a bad idea but he's never put it in his mouth.

mamajaza, i started reading your link. didn't finish cuz i felt like i needed to be more focused. what is crunchy? dh and i have been trying to figure it out. i thought just hippy, granola. tav thought unwashed hairy armpits. :LOL
that would be me

the only real dream thing was one night recently, razi woke up and came into the living room so fast and kept saying 'man eating'. i had to turn the light on in the bedroom and show him a few times there was no man. he definely seemed scared. i can only imagine. he can be pretty shy of men and to have one intrude on your dream! poor babe.


it's been freezing here and i'm trying to think of places to go that are indoors for the winter. new places. what does anybody think of going to the humaine society and playing with the kittens and letting dogs bark at us?
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