Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: baton rouge louisiana
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mamafern, sometimes some people just get along better than others, and kids have a special instinct for those people that are open and nonjudgmental and respectful. and of course ones that will do anything for them. and yes, this crosses family lines since we are such individuals in this society. if your dp has any fears about being a dad, i would imagine that elwynn can sense it. and no, there's not much you can do about it. it is their relationship. even in my very bonded marriage i have had to learn to step away from the politics between the kids and dad. i have to trust that he is daddy and and they all do what happens. otherwise is it just meddling where everyone just gets mad at me. now on the other hand, my best friend has done very well with her ex and her dds - she has facilitated their relationship by making sure that they have access and freedom with each other, to the point where he is a better dad than we expected. but still, how he interacts with them personally is beyond her control (yes, even when he talks bad about her, which is starting to only make him look bad), and kids are smart enough to know that it is separate from mamma if she is not in the thick of the problem.
maybe you can find a way to ventilate the paint fumes. maybe a fan pointing out a window? or possibly he would find a mask amusing. if he is tolerating being around you while you do any kind of work, i strongly recommend you facilitate this very special boon so that you can reap the rewards. i sure wish i had and this is one of my biggest struggles - learning to be me and mamma at the same time.
mona, unfortunately, this is how kids (and adults!) learn that stoves can be dangerous simply by the consequences. i have found that i have an easier time with this since i started having a gas stove (obvious flame). hope you don't feel too bad about it otherwise. it definitely does not reflect on your parenting! these kinds of things happen to many of us mammas.
and bethkm, same for you on the fall! i'm sure you are more than a decent parent and accidents happen. we cannot protect them from everything, and we should not or nothing exciting would ever happen. uhoh, i might be quoting finding nemo. when i was in new orleans for a wedding ruby slipped on the wrought iron chairs and had a big goose egg on her head. she tends to howl more because she's mad that it happenned rather than the actual pain. i did feel bad but not enough to leave and had to remind myself that a big bump on the outside was better than a concussion on the inside. i think it is our reactions that count at this point - showing that we love them is more important than feeling fearful and angry, though that has it's use as well.
sorry gals, i know that ruby might be a little less frustrated when she can talk, but i'm just enjoying her lack of command. i do love hearing her little voice and her wonderful words and singing, but my atmosphere is filled with verbage already. being able to talk does not mean that they know what they want, and her lack of talking keeps me from trying to reason with this itty bitty child.
i have little pieces of modeling clay and playdoh everywhere now but no more water and food slurries and potions from her. it's a compromise. i've given up on the drawing for now. i'm just so thrilled i have a child that draws at all. this also means i am tattoed with marker and pen. i've been rubyfied!