Yep, we're still here~Nov/Dec '02 mommas&babies~ - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-25-2004, 02:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by hjohnson
I would love a close line but our Homeowner's Association doesn't allow them. All you ladies remind to never buy a house in an HOA the next time we look at moving. It sucks! We have to pay $360 for the Association. Part of the privilege of living in this neighborhood. And the rules! No sheds allowed! Hello! I need the storage space.
Yeah, I hate those neighborhoods that have restrictions like that on them... I mean, they look pretty and all without 'junk' and all.. I mean, they do have good reasons (I guess) for having their rules... but, whenever we do buy land and build on it, it won't be in a subdivision. Hopefully it'll be a good size bit of land without many neighbors... LOL I like my privacy (we rent right now)

BTW, one of my sisters is due Sept. 6th for her 3rd baby She's having hers at home (her 3rd homebirth) without a midwife; this will be her 2nd UC This new baby and her youngest right now will be almost exactly 2 yrs apart! And, unless Olivia weans before Sept. she'll be tandem nursing as well hehe
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Old 07-25-2004, 03:02 PM
 
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i joined the local freecycle and i'm still lurking but that's why i'm feeling okay with getting rid of stuff.

i can't say much about the money thing either. i'm so out of practice buying clothes for anyone.
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Old 07-25-2004, 05:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by casina
my dh doesn't talk about my past. and there isn't much to be necessarily proud of, it's just a part of me that i have put attachment in the things from that time. my parents grew up in a war, both our folks dealt with being poor, and now we're poor and hoard and i have that creative excuse of making things out of junk. so i have a lot of work emotionally and physically to do. we do not want to be these kind of people but it is ingrained.
Casina, your comments been in my mind-heart for the past few days. There are certain patterns that I am semi-conscious of in my own self that I do not wish to pass on to ds but gosh are they deeply rooted! Some days this is depressing. Other days there is more spaciousness and forgiveness arising. I hear ds using certain words with the exact intonation I do and the thing is the intonation was probably my mom's and her mom's etc. Lineage YK.

The last day or 2 i've been in a state of not wanting what's present and wanting what's not present. This goes nowhere but into a kind of small and penurious breath. So I've been trying to remember to breathe with my whole body. And smiling with no reason and no object. This is an interesting exercise. Ok, feeling a bit woo-woo...

Rynna can you tell us about Rivkah's name?
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Old 07-25-2004, 09:00 PM
 
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boy, i have missed all you mamas.
we are still at mil's, and will be leaving tomorrow. we've had a pretty good time- dd has been a trooper.. she has LOVED the water down here, and did great at the ocean. she never wanted to leave the beach, although at times all the sand would overload her.
i am on mil's dial up, so i need to go.
just wanted to say hi.

s to all
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Old 07-25-2004, 10:48 PM
 
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Hey Rynna-- I wanted to mention that I believe at some point you had said you were a libra; I am too. Being the scales fairness is very important to us. And I have a hard time too when things aren't *fair*! I have had to let go of this somewhat since having Scarlett otherwise I'd go crazy. Maybe you could entertain the notion of letting some of this go too?

Mama to DD#1 2001 reading.gif, DD#2 2002 2whistle.gif, dog2.gif, & cat.gif. Me & my man partners.gifbelly.gif June 2014.
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Old 07-25-2004, 10:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DecemberSun
Rynna, what sizes are you looking for for Mr. Bean? I was planning on going through Zachary's stuff anyway. And I'd be happy to hand down some of Julianna's newborn stuff for Rivka. She had so many clothes that most of them were worn once before she grew out of them! I'd send you some prefolds for Rivka's bum, but I'm still using all mine! (They are MUCH cheaper, and easier to fit on newborns, IMO- just trifold them and lay them in a cover.) We run out of diapers constantly- I do a load every other day because we don't have a huge stash. It makes it harder when they get bigger and they pee more! Julianna is a super soaker!!!
:LOL eli is my super soaker-- good grief, tthis boy can pee! lucky for me, he loves flushing the toilet, so we're changing fewer diapers as a result of his fervent desire to potty learn.

eli will be, next summer, an 18-24/2T. he's slender (not skinny atm, thank goodness!) and not terribly tall. i figure by the end of the winter he'll be in 2t's for the length, wearing his tiny belt. :LOL

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Originally Posted by *solsticemama*
The last day or 2 i've been in a state of not wanting what's present and wanting what's not present. This goes nowhere but into a kind of small and penurious breath. So I've been trying to remember to breathe with my whole body. And smiling with no reason and no object. This is an interesting exercise. Ok, feeling a bit woo-woo...
your 'woo-woo' side reminds me that i should really make time to meditate. it really helps when i can do it.

Rivkah's name-- i'll get back to you. kids are flipping out.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 07-26-2004, 02:04 AM
 
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solsticemama, the great thing is that our kids are forgiving and learn quickly when we work to change things. and fortunately none of us have a perfect intellectual memory. when we are low it is normal to fall into the lifelong habit of reaction, words on the tip of my tongue. i have sure been doing it lately as well. i find it fascinating what we hold in our cells without our intellectual knowledge. and it is wonderful for our children to see we are moody mistake making humans, real people not plastic as long as we do not greatly disrupt their feeling of being loved.

words are really strange. i was reading a post yesterday with mention of a child using the word can't. i didn't realize until that moment that i have actually wiped that word from my vocabulary and that no one in my family uses it. i hear the common whine and cry of "i don't want to" but i'm so glad it is not "i can't do it". i'm really working to get the negative out of life in general.
ruby is starting to really talk, today. she did a little dance and said happy over and over and repeated dozens of words. and she says the word baby with such tenderness and giggliness i just want to fall over. i guess it is a milestone day - reed did the backbend from standing at kung fu today. he can already do a full sidesplit.

rynna, i hope you know that we are really just worried about you and want you to get through this very unique time as well as possible. everytime i read one of your posts i can remember the raw emotions of dealing with such a change. take it one moment at a time. keep your energy for loving yourself and your family and allow the problems figure themselves out. we love you!
i'm a virgo and i've got that fairness meter. i'm not sure where it has ever helped me as a mamma......

alibuff, i do want to meet you one of these days. but i'm not sure about the next few days, at least to invite you. i'm already in a crisis about my home, my body is healing from falling apart, and then there's my private worry about how my kids behave and how it fits with others especially since you have girls. i'm working on it.....
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Old 07-26-2004, 02:37 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lilmiss'mama
Hey Rynna-- I wanted to mention that I believe at some point you had said you were a libra; I am too. Being the scales fairness is very important to us. And I have a hard time too when things aren't *fair*! I have had to let go of this somewhat since having Scarlett otherwise I'd go crazy. Maybe you could entertain the notion of letting some of this go too?
I am indeed a libra, and I know my obsession with fairness/balance is a seriously libra thing. In many ways, I am the archtypal libra... from my curly hair on down. I can entertain the notion of letting things go, but applying it irl is a whole different story. It really throws my whole self out of kilter when things don't balance, it just drives me crazy beyond belief. There are too many other little things which I can't do (like paint the walls-- I despise white walls...) which would make me happy, and since I can't do them I have to focus my energies elsewhere and that means trying extra hard to make things even. I'm probably going to end up doing Rivkah's entire birth sampler again later.

Rivkah's name is the original, Hebrew form of the name "Rebecca"; if I wanted to be as correct as possible about the spelling, it would be "Ryvqah" but I thought that would be a mean thing to do to her. I was definately right, people can't even seem to pronounce "Rivkah", and I think it's pretty darned intuitive. Her first name is Sadie, after Mike's grandmother who passed away several years ago (I never met her.) We called her Sadie Rivkah instead of Rivkah Sadie because it flows better the first way and the second way isn't pleasant when combined with our last name. :LOL

Sometimes, I look at Eli and stroke his hair or his cheek and wonder at how I got such a perfect, beautiful child. Other times, I find myself looking at him and thinking "It's a good thing you're so cute, or...." I rarely finish the thought. I really love him, I think he's a wonderful child and a fabulous little person, but sometimes he drives me insane! Worst of all, I know that it's often my fault (sort of). For instance, if he got more time to play outside, he'd be a lot more relaxed and less jittery than when he's in the house all day.. but the backyard isn't closed on either end, and he runs out all the time into the alley or the street, and I can't really chase him with Rivkah in the sling much better than I could when I was 7/8/9 months pregnant. So I feel guilty, Eli is miserable because he's been inside all day, and then he starts getting into things which gets me upset which makes Eli more miserable and makes me feel more guilty... It's a vicious cycle!

I'm just really bummed out about a lot of stuff lately. I wondered if it wasn't PPD, but I don't think that's it-- it feels more like a situational depression which is exacerbated by my not-quite-settled hormones. Sometimes I worry that I'm going to scar Eli for life, and I get very upset about that. Here's hoping I'm overreacting.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 07-26-2004, 03:15 AM
 
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sometimes i tell people that's exactly why they are so cute. it is totally anthropological. i do have to be careful about the vicious cycle. i had a friend tell me that i am not responsible for their feelings and i'm still figuring that one out. sometimes i can just snap ruby out of a funk by smiling at her and find it works on everyone else. it only took me five years to really learn that. i have the same problem here about them not going outside since there are too many mosquitoes and the heat adds to it.

knowing you are bummed is the first step in getting better. which i have every faith that you will since you are such a dynamic person.

much love, casina
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Old 07-26-2004, 08:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by hjohnson
I would love a close line but our Homeowner's Association doesn't allow them. All you ladies remind to never buy a house in an HOA the next time we look at moving. It sucks! We have to pay $360 for the Association. Part of the privilege of living in this neighborhood. And the rules! No sheds allowed! Hello! I need the storage space.
We have a HOA as well (actually ANY new neighborhood these days has one--it's not like you can really get away from them around here) but we only pay $50/year. And as much as I'd love a clothesline (can you get a retractable one? I can do that under my deck) and a storage shed, etc., I've seen neighborhoods without HOAs and they have turned to carp. That and we fully knew about the HOA when we moved here, so we really can't complain about it--we didn't HAVE to move here, kwim? We have so many people in the development that complain about it and it drives me nuts because they knew about it when they moved here. I was on the board for a year and it just amazes me what people will complain about for their $50/year as well.

Sorry for the rant! :LOL
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Old 07-26-2004, 05:53 PM
 
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That's ok! Rant away. My biggest rant right now is the board is turning into a dictatorship. Being the issue over the sheds. The board promised three times that they would send out a survey about whether the neighbors wanted sheds or not in the neighborhood. Then at the last meeting in July the President said that the board wouldn't be sending the survey out because it isn't in the best interest of the board to do so. (Four out of the five board members don't want sheds.) What about what's the best interest of the neighborhood. The board said that any resident was welcome to walk around the neighborhood with a survey/petition should they desire. I am to the point that if we get sheds great! If not then I will live. What I don't like is how the board is going about this. Also the president claims that the only the board can change the rule and they aren't about to change it! Well according to the bylaws it can be change if 2/3 of the neighbors says to do so.

Loving Mom to DS (7) and DS (5).
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Old 07-26-2004, 06:06 PM
 
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hey ladies,

am i the only one looking forward to fall? or at least next month. this summer has been so hard for us so far.

rynna, i really feel for you with the money situation. i've been struggling this whole week -- i am so tired of being broke. im so tired of not being able to stretch things just a little further... we've lost our phone before, it just isn't as important as other things. i hope things are a little brighter for you soon.

we are going to be in Northern Calif - dh has family in San Rafel (spelling?) and we hope to spend some time in San Francisco. Other than that, I have no clue what is planned, and honestly don't care. I'm looking forward to being away from home for a bit of time, and being able to spend time just the three of us - i figure the "adults" will plan things to do in the evenings and then the three of us can have some family time.

i have so much i would like to share with you all, and am thinking of you quite often. Once we get back from Calif i think (hope!) things settle down. No more visitors!! (: i am such a loner!)
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Old 07-26-2004, 09:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by casina
i find it fascinating what we hold in our cells without our intellectual knowledge. and it is wonderful for our children to see we are moody mistake making humans, real people not plastic as long as we do not greatly disrupt their feeling of being loved.
Yes, cellular intelligence is deep and powerful. I'd like to explore this more but I'm feeling ds coming out of a 3hr nap. He's not awake yet but the intimations of consciousness are right there at the edge of my psyche so I'll have to save it for later. Casina, your kids have a generous and sage mom.

*MamaJ* everything ok?
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Old 07-26-2004, 09:37 PM
 
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Our bylaws don't have any clause for changing it. People in our neighborhood thought that we could just vote to change it. We had to seek out legal assistance and found out that in order to change anything, we had to have 100% of the households voting (never going to happen) and in order to vote, you couldn't be in arrears when it came to your dues (there are a ton of people who refuse to pay them).

Is yours 2/3 of the total households? Would you ever get everyone there to vote? That would be impossible around here.

After having seen what little power there is to change anything having to do w/covenants and bylaws, I think that the board is better off putting their time to other uses.
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Old 07-27-2004, 04:00 AM
 
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Eilowny-- how do you pronounce Rivkah? I've just been pronouncing it the way it is spelled. Is that wrong?

Casina-- I have noticed the can't word here too; but more from my own mouth and decided the other day I need to stop using that word.

Punk-- I have family in San Rafael too! I really like that area; even though it has grown in size a lot. Bordenaves (sp?) is a good place to get fresh bread and Goratti's a good place for italian foods and they have excellent salami if you're into it. San Fran is great too; pier 39, the warf, MOMA... have fun!!

Mama to DD#1 2001 reading.gif, DD#2 2002 2whistle.gif, dog2.gif, & cat.gif. Me & my man partners.gifbelly.gif June 2014.
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Old 07-27-2004, 05:09 AM
 
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hey everyone!

i have much work to do on creating a home. just to start i realized last night that me and dh have been living with our clothes in a pile near the washing machine for years now. my closet is just filled with boxes. actually having our clothes in the laundry room is a pretty good place.
i can't even imagine not having the option of having a shed. but then that's why i live in crazy louisiana. where people do whatever they want and it looks completely trashed in some places. hey i can unschool to my heart's delight at least.

solsticemama, i love your hearing your compliments. and me in person is sometimes a different thing though i believe what i think is a powerful force in what i am. and i gotta tell you ladies, having three kids can make anyone wiser. i highly recommend it.
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Old 07-27-2004, 09:21 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lilmiss'mama
Eilowny-- how do you pronounce Rivkah? I've just been pronouncing it the way it is spelled. Is that wrong?
No... in fact, I can't even think of another way to explain it. It's pronounced just like it's spelled. Like I said, pretty intuitive. Of course, Eli's name is spelled phonetically too, and people still persist in calling him Elijah. :

Casina-- You go girl! I don't even know if I'm capable of making a house a home. I feel like I do laundry all the time (not right now, though; our dryer is broken and the rain is pouring down, so the line isn't useful) but everything's still a mess. For a brief, shining moment things were tolerable.. and now they're a wreck again. I swear though, if things aren't straight around here soon I'm going to throw the computer out the window. Mike's been playing Evil Game a lot less, but it's still not neat enough around here for me to breathe.

Speaking of breathing... I am a good mommy. I listen to my children and try to meet their needs before they break down. My son and daughter can communicate with me and do. I will take the time to listen to them today. I love my children, and find listening to them worthwhile. My children love me, and are counting on me to meet their needs for food, shelter, and love today. I am a good mommy; I can do these things! (This morning's mantra.)

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 07-27-2004, 11:19 AM
 
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Punk I am looking forward to the fall because lately we have been living paycheck to paycheck. Summer has been kind of sucky too since I am pregnant.

Loving Mom to DS (7) and DS (5).
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Old 07-27-2004, 12:50 PM
 
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yes, summer here is a pain for me. like a minnesota winter.
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Old 07-27-2004, 02:15 PM
 
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Rynna- I've been pronouncing (in my head, as I read) Eli as "Elly", is it actually "Ee-lie"? I guess it's just the habit of speaking Spanish, and pronouncing words that way. Like Anna's daughter Revina. It could be Ra-vine-a, for all I know, but I pronounce it Re-veen-a. And I've been saying Mook-tee for little Mukti. OTOH, Julianna's name is pronounced the American way, not Julie-onna.

Stuffy and runny noses here, not sleeping good. Running in a million directions putting stuff away after vacation, and getting things ready for our two-week respite placement coming on Friday. We're taking care of a friend's foster son for two weeks while they take a much-needed vacation. (He has no head or neck control due to exposure to psychotropic drugs in utero.) Should be interesting, to say the least, especially since DH will be in Cali. for the X-Games for 4 days and I'll be here with four kids alone! I think I'll bribe my little sister to come stay with me to help out...

Been thinking about you and your girls, Jasanna...

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Old 07-27-2004, 02:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's hard for me to keep up with you guys. There is so much wise words on this thread.

This past weekend I went to the Mission Folk Music Festival, where I live. It's pretty cool to have a festival just a few blocks from my house. It was very (ahem)*challenging* to go out with a 2 week old, and a raging 19 month old.

Haeven is so sociable. She goes up to everyone and says HI!!! She is sooo loud too. Good thing I'm not going to the festival every weekend. I have to have 3 people to help me look after her.

But the music was nice to see and hear, anyways.

My little Samaya has gained a pound since birth, which is good.gotta go..........
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Old 07-27-2004, 02:34 PM
 
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yuck. my dh called me from work and is talking about quitting within the month and how much can we REALLY scrape by. is there anything to discuss really? i'm not cool with cutting down the 500 we have a month to live on aside from bills. i never feel i can buy enough food and i do all the cooking as it is, reed has eaten an adult's portion since he was three. and this includes food stamps and my mil paying me to make meals twice a week. just cos we lived on less before (like 150 a month) doesn't mean i want to do it again. good thing he got his freaking studio.
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Old 07-27-2004, 02:50 PM
 
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back from our trip. whew....

only have a sec, but wanted to say that no, casina, that doesn't sound cool that your dh wants to quit. as one who has to deal w/ financial yuchness as well, i don't think my dh always understands how difficult it is on me that we never have any money. i know it is hard for him too, but as the caregiver of the family, the stress of money depletes my already wanning energies. kudos to those single mamas- i don't know how you do it.

hopefully i will be able to check in more fully later.

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Old 07-27-2004, 02:53 PM
 
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DecemberSun your heart is wide and deep, mama.

Having just read about Leah and Casina and MamaJ, I'm feeling the real, the raw, the incredible ordinariness inside this exaltation called mothering and the grace with which we are all getting thru each day. Blessed to be sharing this space with y'all. Sending peaceful vibes your way, mamas.
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Old 07-27-2004, 05:51 PM
 
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DecemberSun, Eli is indeed "Elly" because he's "Eliyahu" and not "Elijah". Still, for some reason a lot of people look at "Eliyahu" and say "Elijah"; I'm not entirely sure why.

Casina, . My husband and I have talked about what we'd do if he ever lost his job or felt very strongly compelled to quit. Life would suck even more than it does right now, that's for sure, but I suppose we'd find a way to get through it. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a right to say anything because I'm staying home and he's the one who's bringing in the money, but then I realize: I'm not getting paid, but I'm doing a much more important job than he is. He knows it, too, and we talk about the money stuff as equal partners.

Rivkah has a doctor's appointment tonight. Her urine smells really unbelievably awful and there's less of it than there was before. She's also spent the whole day either sleeping or crying in pain. Not my usual, interactive, looking around BooBah Doll. I hate seeing my kids in pain, it's so difficult for me, I always feel so helpless.

Things were better with Eli today. For the first time since Rivkah was born, I didn't feel like his goal for the day was to see how many ways he could find to get me upset. We've had a great day together. I just wish Rivkah was feeling so good.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 07-27-2004, 06:33 PM
 
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Mona, welcome back. The image of your dd at the beach is a sweet one. How did the airplane travel go?

Rynna, my understanding of the name 'Eliyahu' is that it's the original Hebrew form of Elijah. Is that correct? Perhaps that's where the confusion arises for folks. I do know it's similar in syllabic content to the chant/name/mantra certain lineages use to remember God, with the word "hu" being the Sound of sounds.
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Old 07-27-2004, 06:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by *solsticemama*
Rynna, my understanding of the name 'Eliyahu' is that it's the original Hebrew form of Elijah. Is that correct? Perhaps that's where the confusion arises for folks. I do know it's similar in syllabic content to the chant/name/mantra certain lineages use to remember God, with the word "hu" being the Sound of sounds.
It is, . "El" is actually the God syllable; "Eliyahu" means "my God is who is", or "my God is God."

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 07-27-2004, 08:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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rynna~I sincerely hope that your little girl will be well. I don't know if you are interested, but there are some things that help the kidneys... nettle tea, unsweetened cranberry juice, basically most fruits and vegetables. Salt is extremely hard on the kidneys, as is meat. HTH~
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Old 07-27-2004, 09:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by casina
alibuff, i do want to meet you one of these days. but i'm not sure about the next few days, at least to invite you. i'm already in a crisis about my home, my body is healing from falling apart, and then there's my private worry about how my kids behave and how it fits with others especially since you have girls. i'm working on it.....
Casina,
I totally understand I prolly wouldn't be able to meet up anytime soon anyways... only have one car working and Jeremy takes it to work most days. Although, our neighbor has just started working at the same place, so, maybe they'll carpool everyday and I'll have the car every other day... LOL
My house is chaotic too... its really hard to keep it up with 2 kids... even harder I'm sure with more!
My girls... well... my 5 yr is a drama queen... she's a tiny drama queen. She's very social though. My 19 mth old is kind of a bully sometimes... with major attitude. She throws tandrums. I'm pretty much at the point where I don't really want to bring either one with me when I go to the store. Calista's constantly asking for this, that,and the other and trying to wander away from me (enough to get picked up) and Ursula is now wanting to get out of the grocery cart and run up and down the aisles. Its very exhausting. So, I'm not really getting out the house too much anyways
If you'd like to talk IRL, I can easily call you. We have that flat rate calling plan... call nationwide... I love it It sounds like we have some things in common... of course, that might not work too well either because it seems as though everytime I pick the phone up, my kids start screaming, fighting, or something...
I know we just met, so, no pressure lol I'm just happy to meet others that are somewhat like myself close by
Oh, what type of work does your dh do?
Hope things look brighter for you soon!
Alison
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Old 07-28-2004, 02:10 AM
 
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alibuff, my kids aren't predictable either. i feel better after reading your post!

what happenned, that pressed my buttons, is my dh snuck in the conversation that i was to get a job. i hate being talked to that way. and i know he doesn't mean to hurt my feelings. but it is a very old issue with us. he has never liked to work or have the financial responsibility. he ordered me to work after we moved back to louisiana and then ended up ordering me to wean reed. i'm just starting to feel i have healed my relationship with reed.

it only gets worse. he has been on neurontin for who knows what reason for the pain in his back supposedly and saw the doctor yesterday and they decided since he wants to get off of it. so i know he is haveing a withdrawal problem. i made him talk to me tonight and he told me he is going to quit tomorrow and that he has been telling me and i haven't listened. and about how we are going to lose the house and everything. he is suddenly extremely depressed. i'm not sure what to do yet.
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