Yep, we're still here~Nov/Dec '02 mommas&babies~ - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

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#241 of 647 Old 08-17-2004, 05:01 PM
 
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He's not nursing as much as a newborn but he is definitely interested in taking up nursing again. Last week I was wearing a shirt minus the bra and Christopher lifted my shirt up and latched on. I wasn't expecting it at all. LOL! For the most part he stopped nursing at 16 months with an exception here and there. I have a feeling he will start nursing again once his brother gets here. I hope so! I was hoping to tandem nurse when I found out I was pregnant.

Loving Mom to DS (7) and DS (5).
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#242 of 647 Old 08-17-2004, 07:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by eilonwy
Anyone else have a toddler suddenly step up and start nursing more than a newborn?

That would be my Zoomba. Now I can't say for sure she is nursing as much as a newborn, since I don't have one around to compare her to, but she is nursing A LOT. She must be burning calories all the time because she constantly has something in her mouth, she snacks and nurses constantly. And she's still tiny :LOL.

MamaJaza, I had the same problem with my FB. Her thighs were too small for the Med but I couldn't stuff the small enough to hold all the pee (we used them for night diapers) I eventually just changed her to a diff. dipe for night time. FWIW, we tried disposables when she was too small for the Small FB and those would leak too. The girl just pees and pees and pees.... :LOL

Today I really cleaned my house.... well most of it anyway. It felt really good. Organize, and clean and declutter. I did our bedroom, kitchen / computer area and the Living Room. So I still have some work to do, but it was a good start. My spirit is refreshed and I am feeling good mamas

Elionwy (and others) if you find some undies for Eli that work, could you please let me know? TIA.
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#243 of 647 Old 08-17-2004, 07:38 PM
 
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I've been putting the 2T training pants on him; they're huge in the seat, but he's almost big enough that they don't show any crack... I figure in another month or two, he'll have grown into them. *sigh*

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#244 of 647 Old 08-17-2004, 07:38 PM
 
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dd is having her "munyas" more then ever too. i assume it is bc she is going thru a developmental leap, as her sleep has gotten all funky the last week as well. sigh. it was just starting to improve. sigh

i cleaned today too- it felt great, even if dd was upset bc she hates the vaccuum cleaner.

when dd was a newborn we used sposies at night bc all i had was cpf's and plastic gerber pants. and i wasn't into changing her every hour at night. :LOL then we got a great set on tp- hemp, and they still are being used every night. i'm hoping they last thru potty training, but that isn't looking like that will be the case. so then i don't know what i'll do.
i've heard great things about nightly newts, btw. anyone use those?

dd's latest funny thing is walking on her tip-toes. it is a hoot to watch.

gotta run

lisa
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#245 of 647 Old 08-17-2004, 09:16 PM
 
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Yup--we've resumed nursing full force again. I *thought* we were actually somewhat self-weaning a couple of weeks ago, seeing as we cut out the before-nap nummies, so we were down to morning and evening. Now, he tries to nurse every minute he can and he gets quite vocal if I resist. I *know* he can wait until a little more convenient time (like after the neighbor, who was over visiting for about 15 minutes, left) but he doesn't want to. We went and saw the Wiggles the other day and he lifted my shirt while we were there too. I chalk it up to a growth spurt/developmental growth as well.

Jasanna--how many "layers" hemp fleece are you using? And are you getting full coverage (does the hemp fill out the crotch area) or is there room for it to leak? You may be running into just not having enough. We've used FBs since Owen was 8 weeks old. I have found that while they are awesome diapers, he has far less leaks with a good fitted because of the coverage around the sides where an insert doesn't reach. I stayed away from fitteds for so long for whatever reason and now I'm trying to downsize my FB stash and go strictly fitteds.

Have I told you all that I'm an official diaper wahm? My site should be open for business around Sept. 1 (providing I continue sewing enough to have a nice stock to sell). Not sure if we are moderated in this topic or not, so if someone wants to PM me for my biz addy, then they can post it here, if you want. I LOVE sewing diapers! I love using what I've sewn, too. I have to look into advertising, although I have a great following of customers already, who are patiently waiting for my site to open (I sold a few of my dipes on ebay last week for some extra money and word got out on the diapering boards here at MDC! Yay!).
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#246 of 647 Old 08-18-2004, 12:59 AM
 
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clay has nursed more than ruby her whole life. lately he nurses for three times as long, because he just wants to be close. i think the boys tend to be more clingy as well. and yes, he is bigger of course. he's forty pounds and she is thirty. and people ask how i suddenly got skinny when before nursing just kept me large..... it's part of the reason i'm happy with the designated breasts. right one for clay, left one for ruby. that way i can tell if they got their own share, and it has worked out with bedsharing too. clay reports that they taste different as well.

but two (or three or so) will get what they need. the hindmilk is rich in calories. now i'm starting to remember the beginnings.....at some point i even tried laying on my side sleeping, and stacked a swaddled ruby on clay so that they could nurse at the same time, hoping that it would save me a waking. i also remember infants tended to just be on me whether for food or comfort since they are not moving. i just think what a tender time it is for me with a new one and feel for y'all with expanding families.
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#247 of 647 Old 08-18-2004, 02:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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brayg, I thought about how many layers I use, and it is essentially 12 layers I'm interested in your diaper site Send me a link
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#248 of 647 Old 08-18-2004, 11:21 AM
 
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fbs....are they repelling water? we had this spurt where we'd used too much detergent and it had built up and then they didn't soak the water through to the cpf, but the water ran out the legs. consult the diapering hyenas on the diapering board for how to "strip" your diapers if you think this is the case.

also....i just realized this last week. : but you might try not stuffing the pocket but using the fb as a cover. The umm, fleecey wicking action is great, but sometimes for my dd she'd pee too quickly and the wick would be too slow.

we are doing ok here. erin got out of her bed last night and came to our little bed. then she kicked and kicked and kicked. so i went to her bed. there's a waterproof mattress pad down there and man did i sweat. can anyone talk to me about making one from wool or something a bit more breatheable -- would pul be better?

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#249 of 647 Old 08-18-2004, 11:35 AM
 
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Yeah Brayg!! Congratulations I'm interested to know your web address please
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#250 of 647 Old 08-18-2004, 02:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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kerc~ i'm lucky because my grama makes everyone a wool quilt in my family, and my cousin never used hers because she put it in the washing machine and then it was ruined. So I got a free felted wool quilt which I sleep on, on top of my sheet with a shower curtain under that. I get the sheet soaked it all sorts of stuff every night, but because I'm sleeping on the wool, I don't feel like I have to wash the sheet. I also put a receiving blanket on top of the wool when I think of it. I'm kind of grubby in the morning, but I don't have to wash endless laundry. This won't last forever, anyways.
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#251 of 647 Old 08-18-2004, 04:07 PM
 
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mamas

We're back from our trip. It was fruitful because it was challenging to me both on the physical (very hot, tight living quarters) and emotional (dh worked a ton and I had the full on concentration for both ds and dh) planes. But Mukti travelled happily and we felt it was a good trip for our little mandala despite the amount of work involved. Some good connections were made. I met a mama with a little boy just 6 weeks younger than ds. She makes her own dipes and slings, bfs, co-sleeps etc etc. I've told her about y'all and she'll be joining us soon. One funny story from that encounter: her ds calls bfing 'mamadee' and Mukti calls it 'beuf' At one point the two boys exchanged names and started asking to nurse by the other's name for it. A real insight into the language realm of our little ones.

Punk, sorry to hear the rest of your trip was so funky. It was great meeting y'all.

Mona, o shorn one, tell us more about your decision and experience of cutting your hair. What a lovely offering.

Casina I was particularly inspired by one of your earlier posts and want to comment some on it once I reread it. I feel our little tribe is very blessed to have you among us.

Went to see my sil's 10 day old baby yesterday. What a sweet atmosphere there was in new baby land. I found it difficult to remember ds ever being that small and embryonic but I have pictures that tell me it was so.

blessings, mamas
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#252 of 647 Old 08-18-2004, 04:45 PM
 
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welcome home Rose
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#253 of 647 Old 08-18-2004, 08:02 PM
 
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we are back from our adventures on denman island. it was a great gathering and i helped put on a workshop on radical parenting. there were two babies doing the diaper free thing and i was so impressed! the littlest one, raphiel is 3 months and almost never wets his pants! the other kiddo is 11 months and she is the same, although i did see her pee on her momma..but she was giving all of the signs. it was so interesting to see parents so in tune with their kids..and the fact that a 3 month old will hold a pee or poop till the parent is ready was amazing! the next kiddo i have will be diaper free!im sad i didnt know about it before. it seems so much easier than diapering!

 

 

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#254 of 647 Old 08-18-2004, 08:21 PM
 
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A wool matress pad! Why didn't I think of that?!? I'm going to have to make one for myself. Wow, what a wonderful excuse to buy some wool and knit! Thanks!

BeanBean has had a diaper and accident free day, starting with the dry diaper this morning. Through two long car trips (1.5 hours each) and a nap, he's been dry and clean, and this evening he pooped in the potty. He's nursing and rubbing his eyes right now . Tonight, I'm going to put him to sleep in underpants. I can't believe my baby is so big!

I wanted to do the EC thing with BooBah, but things didn't work out that way.. Oh well, there's always next time. *sigh*

I'm glad you guys enjoyed your trips. One of these days, I'll do some travelling of my own! :LOL

My sister wants me to homeschool my niece for this coming school year. I'm very excited at the prospect, it'd be just wonderful for all of us. Here's hoping it works out!

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#255 of 647 Old 08-19-2004, 11:44 AM
 
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Brayg send me a link to your business. I am still in need of a lot of diapers for the little one. Ladies send me some labor vibes. I am sick and tired of being pregnant!!

Loving Mom to DS (7) and DS (5).
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#256 of 647 Old 08-19-2004, 12:05 PM
 
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Here's to a happy, healthy, labor!

We are officially out of diapers. Tomorrow, I will put all the medium covers in a drawer, to await the expansion of BooBah's waist and thighs. I think I may still have to buy larges someday-- BooBah's legs are not as skinny as BeanBean's were-- but that day is still far off. I'm very excited, I've had less than 2 months of 2 in diapers.

Is it weird that I want to tie-dye his underpants?! I just want them to be cute, and the only ones that even come close to fitting (not that they do) are plain white.. that's just so boring, after all the fun, colorful diapers!

Hm, both kids are asleep! I should start some laundry!! :LOL

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#257 of 647 Old 08-19-2004, 01:26 PM
 
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Yeah Eli!!! And I think that tie-dye undies sound great! I want some! :LOL Actually I was thinking this same thing yesterday. Everyone (mom and other "well meaning" people) keep telling me I should buy some undies for dd. She is no where near where Eli is, but is very interested in the potty and for the last several days has been averaging about 60% or so of using the potty successfully. Anyhow, so I was thinking that I don't want to buy undies - they are soooo boring, either white, or too gender specific for my taste.... and I'm sorry but my kid is NOT wearing Spongebob on her bottom Not to mention we don't have money for stuff that isn't a necessity at the time being.

Anyhow - bring on the tie dye undies. I think that's a great idea

And this is for your Heather :

lots of heading your way for a happy, healthy labor and baby, I wish you the best and for your sake I hope the time is soon :LOL
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#258 of 647 Old 08-19-2004, 02:28 PM
 
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ok, my dd is not going to be out of dipes for awhile, but the undies talk brings us to an interesting point... we don't wear undies in our family :LOL so is it really necessary that dd wears them when she gets out of dipes/training pants/whatever?
anyone out there bypass undies?
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#259 of 647 Old 08-19-2004, 03:36 PM
 
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Hi everyone
I hate to be a fly by poster; because I never know what is going on. I did read back a page though. The girls started "school" on Monday. I did a lot of research and feel good about the place they are at. It is a loosly based Montessori. Revina is doing well. and Scarlett is doing okay. She cries each time I leave, but not for long, usually she stops before I am out the gate. We are undergoing many lifestyle changes but I can't complain, b/c we are getting a lot of help.
The shelter won't let me use cloth diapers. Used diapers are not allowed to stay in the room and must be thrown away outside immediately. They say it is unsanitary. I choose my battles. A recent win for me was... they tried to say I had to vaccinate the girls in order to stay at the shelter. However, the law says they must provide an exemption; which I told them. They had to check it out and then told me I needed a doctors signature. I said no I don't. More checking and I am right!
No potty using for us. Scarlett will tell me after she poops, but that's it. I tell her she can use the potty and she says "no"! I am not in a hurry for it anyway. She is still my baby!
I guess that's all for now. I'll keep checking in, looking forward to hearing some baby news Heather!

Mama to DD#1 2001 reading.gif, DD#2 2002 2whistle.gif, dog2.gif, & cat.gif. Me & my man partners.gifbelly.gif June 2014.
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#260 of 647 Old 08-19-2004, 09:50 PM
 
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Well, things have been going much better for us lately. We've been able to get out of the house since we don't have the third baby, and the kids obviously do better tantrum wise/ sleep wise when they're not bored and stuck in the house. We've started a preschool group with some local MDC mamas. We alternate houses once a week and the mama who hosts picks the lesson/ activity that day. All the kids are from 11 months to 2 1/2, and Zach is one of only two boys! I'm hoping being around other kids will get Julianna walking soon- she's the only one who still crawls! It's so nice to be around other AP parents, I can't even express how much I (and the kids) need this! Everyone thinks it's adorable when someone's toddler walks up and asks to nurse in his or her own way- no hiding that they're still nursing, or bribing them to wait. I can do it whenever, and it's a good thing! I actually feel guilty giving Julianna a bottle while I'm there beause she's the only formula fed kid in the group for once!!!

I'm really working on gentle discipline lately. I had been getting so stressed out yelling at the kids all day for getting into trouble and screaming at each other. Now I try to take a deep breath, forget about what they've already done earlier that day to piss me off, try VERY hard not to raise my voice, and talk to them. I try to use logic and reason with them. I try to remember what I want them to learn from what they're doing. If all that still doesn't work to calm them down, I'll put them (mostly Zach) in time-out for a few minutes, completely ignoring whatever they're doing (screaming, kicking, etc). It seems to be helping both my stress-level, and the kids' tantrums! Even when they're just being so naughty, and the last thing I want to do is cuddle them and "reward" them for being bad, I try to remain calm and it really does get better results! You probably all think I'm crazy for losing my cool, but it really does get crazy here some days and I can actually feel my blood pressure rising while Zach is screaming at the top of his lungs, and Julianna's tearing up something, and the phone is ringing, and DH is out somewhere, and we have no money and are running out of food, and the dogs are dirty and un-groomed, and Crystal's bus is pulling up the driveway, and everything seems to be just HORRIBLE... But I'm trying to take things in stride now, and just shrug stuff off, and it is helping tremendously! Don't sweat the small stuff, right? Actually there is a very interesting thread in the Gentle Discipline forum titled something like "It's official- I can not use Gentle Discpline with my child". I thought Zach was one of those kids who just didn't respond to anything less than military-style discpline, but he just needs some understanding, some extra time, and attention.

My kids are certainly learning a lot every day. Totally mind blowing to watch them pick up words on their own, and proudly point to something and name it. Having a conversation with the little one who was just a little rolly-poley bug on the floor this time last year is just awesome!

My insomnia is just awful lately... I'm going to try all the natural remedies available! It's like the more tired I am, and the harder I try to fall asleep, the more my body wakes up and it's just impossible to relax and drift off. I would not wish insomnia on my worst enemy, it really takes a toll on the mind and body. I feel like a zombie after I don't get good sleep, and that's not a good feeling!

Take care, all you peaceful mamas. I'm sending you a cyber hug right now .

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#261 of 647 Old 08-19-2004, 10:18 PM
 
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I forgot to post about the Fuzzi Bunz problem. We use one on Zach at night with one hemp fleece, hemp jersey, or cotton terry insert. Just one lasts him all night! But we could stuff it with a zillion inserts and Julianna would still leak through. We have to change her every 2 hours at the max during the day. At night, sadly, we have given up using cloth on Julianna. We use Huggies, and we still have to change her once in the middle of the night. She still sucks down 8 oz. of fluid every 3 hours or so, so she is just a SUPER SOAKER. Sometimes there just isn't anything you can do. Jasanna, I'd try stuffing it with more, or change her in the middle of the night. We used a Liz's cloth fleece Overnighter cover at night for awhile when Julianna was very young, and although it is bulky it really worked well to contain leaks. Or try a nice Sugarpeas or Fuz wool cover over a good hemp fitted with a couple of doublers. Good luck with that problem, Mamajaza!

I would like a pm with a link to your site, Rachel!

Oh, and thanks for your pointers on sleep, casina.

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#262 of 647 Old 08-20-2004, 02:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks for all the replies about the fuzzi bunz. I think I'm going to try a different diaper system for night, because I can't fit any more hemp fleece in her diapers (and I hate getting up in the middle of the night).

Decembersun, have you tried Valerian for your sleep disturbance? I've heard that for some people it knocks them on their a$$ in minutes. Try it out.
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#263 of 647 Old 08-20-2004, 02:54 PM
 
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One more thing Jasanna- the pee might be coming up the back... Make sure the fleece is tucked under the elastic, but you probably already tried that...

I will try the Valerian... I went to the Good Apple this morning (my friendly neighborhood natural goods store) and bought some Night Time tea and some Hyland's Insomnia tabs, so we'll see how it works. Now I have another excuse to go back there and browse!

I'm making some lemon rose cookies for a "tea/cookie party" today. Another get-together with AP moms. I am so thankful to have the internet, without which I would never have met any of these people and I'd probably be going absolutely stir crazy here... I'm thinking of buying a bottle of bubbly to go with the cookies and tea, hee hee!

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#264 of 647 Old 08-21-2004, 03:52 AM
 
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leah, have you tried melatonin. how about a beer or glass of wine.

i invited many people over for sunday for reed's birthday. i am also having an old friend plus girlfriend i have never met before, coming to stay the weekend after. the fact that she is asian makes me extra nervous. so i'm feeling crazy about my house, since i'm not as comfortable as i would like with it personally. there are no cleared surfaces yet aside from the floor. for the party i'm making a giant polkadot cheesecake, shaved ice with a dozen or so toppings, a salad or two and maybe some sushi. i've got thirty goody bags and most rsvps were maybes.

leah, i have a story for you.
yesterday i made a series of mistakes in reaction. i had just got out of bed and clay started chasing and slashing and poking both ruby and i with a plastic lettuce knife which just made me feel icky and i could only whine for him to stop it and continue avoiding him (i am considered a slow waker). at some point i told him to stop or i would take the thing away. he and reed are running around giggling, talking about how i'm the target at this point. he found a golf ball and threw it at my head and i did not see it coming. it made me really cry and i still have a bump. i went to make up with him though i did not feel calm and he was hiding in a cabinet. when i opened the door he kicked at me and i felt suddenly angry again, and i put him outside since the back door was right there. i let him back in immediately and gave up and started washing the dishes since i had very little idea how to cope with my reactions at the time because i was tired. no matter how much i wanted to let it slide and be calm so he would feel loved and calm, i kept antagonizing the situation. the bad feeling went away pretty quick after i did my usual puttering around the house and we connected again. he came and gave me a hug and we hung out.

the good news is that i'm able to act better sometimes. also i know that he is not permanently harmed and actually the worst is keeping away the feeling of overall self-deprecation and keeping the shame drop by drop to fuel me to act better. an interesting aspect is that i talked the situation with reed and he agreed that no matter what i did, whether trying to make up or change the rules, it still looks and feels like fighting to them. maybe what you do or don't want to know, is that my kids can do this all day, and i have to snap out of it and if i can't.....then just get through the moment. i think when damen first hurt his back it was like this for six months straight. but i have changed. the situation has changed. and my kids patterns are not as ingrained, since they develop so quickly and adapt. and really, we are happy people. my kids are not damaged by my mistakes so far. they are emotionally healthier than most people i know, including myself.

i didn't even get to the story about this morning yet. they are terrorizing me with messes.

eilonwy, i don't think it is too late to ec with rivkah? hey i'm no expert. i have a box to send you next week.....

lilmiss, anything we can do? what sizes do you and your girls wear and what kinds of clothes do you like or need? it would make me feel really good about sending you something you could use. maybe a twenty dollar bill or so would be better!

heather, do what you can and pamper yourself to enjoy this very strange slowing of time in your life. you're waiting at the top of a rollercoaster.
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#265 of 647 Old 08-21-2004, 11:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by casina
eilonwy, i don't think it is too late to ec with rivkah? hey i'm no expert.
It's not, but I have to wait for the VCUG; if she has severe uretal reflux, I can't do it with her regardless of her age. It's quite a bummer. Honestly, one of the main reasons I wanted to do it with her was to show BeanBean how to use the potty, that poop and pee can both go in there. Since he's potty learned already, it's not nearly as pressing and there's only the laundry issue.

This morning, BeanBean's grandparents got to see him wake up dry and use the bathroom. They're totally impressed! He wanted grandpa to take him, so when I asked he said "No." Then he went to grandpa and told *him* that he had to go. :LOL Silly BeanBean!

I am knitting myself a wetbag from fun, interesting yarn I found on clearance at AC Moore. It'll look really cool, I just hope it works. I also found some really neat patterns for bags, and in a few more months when I have some money, I'm going to try to make some to fairy to people, just because I like to knit. They're interesting patterns, some of them would make great wetbags, and I'll have the time of my life.

My mother doesn't want me to homeschool my niece . I'm still trying to talk her into it, because it would be such a good thing for all of us, all the way around. Still, I reminded my mother and sister that legally, my niece doesn't have to attend school at all this year because she isn't 8 years old yet. I think that my mother is going to send her, but I might still be able to convince my sister to go around her. We'll see! I really really want to do this... it'd give me some direction aside from the little activities I do with BeanBean and BooBah, and make me feel more like a productive human being, which is always a positive influence on my mood.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#266 of 647 Old 08-21-2004, 05:37 PM
 
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Right now ds is napping. Potty training/learning is not really happening here. After reading about y'alls little ones sitting on the potty etc and having certain times that you sit them on the potty I began to think that dh and I are too laid back. We do have a potty and a special seat that goes on the toilet and occasionally I'll remember to sit ds on either one of them but that's about it. He goes diaperless alot and what he does know how to do is to get a diaper from the pile and bring it over to the just peed on floor, put it on the pee and clean it up then put the diaper in the pail to be washed. That counts for something doesn't it :LOL Anyway I'm impressed with everyone's comittment to potty training.
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Originally Posted by casina



the way i see it, it is all about energy. you need it for yourself, so that you can use it positively for others. i'm sure i've said this before: i'm working on using my energy positively. it starts with sleep and food intake and love. the physical parameters i could go on and on.

and then there's the me part. for me this means limiting the running commentary in my head. forgiving the things that happenned. often this means i have to forgive icky people and their icky behaviours, because i believe they are animals just like me in the world that are doing their best like i am. even if i was hurt i have to find a way to laugh or love parts of these people. the forgiveness is a release for me to go on and quit feeling mad and violated. it does not change the situation or how others behaved, but it always makes me feel better and able to continue free. when i'm upset or judgmental about others i am just as easily upset and judgmental about myself and this is a draining cycle. i have to find the way to jump on another track and forgiveness is usually a big piece.

this also means forgiving yourself for however you have behaved that you are not feeling right about. know that your child's memory is limited and that they are amazingly forgiving. what they remember is them feeling loved, not whether you argued in their favor. they just feel that as distress.
it is okay to not know everything about being a mamma! how unendingly boring would that be!
Casina, yes, this is heart of it. This is how I am aspiring to mother, within the whole human mandala. The other day I was feeling very low. Ds had seen me react loudly to some yellow jackets. Previously he had met them with a neutral/interested approach but after seeing me shoo them away he began to do the same. That afternoon I felt the weight of each of us having taken on the conditioning of our parents, and them their parents and so on down the line. The feeling that we've been led to believe that our reactions to things were actually our own caused such a feeling of sadness in my being. This mantle of unexamined conditioning that we all carry can be such a source of suffering. It inspires me to try and be as clear as I can in my breath and body about what is arising. And being human I 'fail' each day again and again. Your line about how boring mamahood would be if we knew everything gave me a real lift and shifted things for me

The other part of your post resonated with me deeply.
Quote:
Originally Posted by casina

when my little brain and everything in the world gets overwhelming, i have to make myself do a simple minded thinking exercise and this vastly conserves my energy. i describe in my head what is happenning with no judgment and think of nothing else, and just act accordingly. it takes practice quelling the unneeded thoughts but they can be stopped. it is also important to have no value in the statements like feelings and right and wrong. i'm always amazed that my body will just do the appropriate responses without me consciously talking to myself about it. it would go something like this:

there's oatmeal on the counter.
reed is half naked.
clay wants more ice.
i hear my phone.
ruby dumped water.
i'm playing cards.
i'm nursing.
reed is yelling.
i'm drinking chocolate soymilk.

in the course of this my body may have done something or ignored the situation and then moved on. i tend not to talk but rather nod and smile or shake my head and make a noise. i say okay, or sure, just to acknowledge without either positive or negative. i stare out the window. i observe the smoothness of their skin and the tones in their voices. sometimes i make myself do this and it lasts for maybe thirty minutes and it will refresh me for the day. i can do it when no other adults are around and the computer and phone ignored. i am learning the skill of being less conscious, and it has really benefited me. it keeps me in the moment.
This is soo sane, so balanced, mama. I think it's also a classical buddhist meditation but I'm not sure. If not, it comes pretty close. Oh you are a wise mama.
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#267 of 647 Old 08-22-2004, 12:51 PM
 
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[QUOTE=*solsticemama*] The other day I was feeling very low. Ds had seen me react loudly to some yellow jackets. Previously he had met them with a neutral/interested approach but after seeing me shoo them away he began to do the same. That afternoon I felt the weight of each of us having taken on the conditioning of our parents, and them their parents and so on down the line. The feeling that we've been led to believe that our reactions to things were actually our own caused such a feeling of sadness in my being. This mantle of unexamined conditioning that we all carry can be such a source of suffering. It inspires me to try and be as clear as I can in my breath and body about what is arising. And being human I 'fail' each day again and again.
QUOTE]


yes, rose, this rings so true for me too. to be aware all the time, it is impossible, but it is something to wrk towards. to examine why we do things, how we have come to these actions, and wheterh or not we want to pass the emotions behind the actions onto our dc. conditioning seems to be such a bigee that i am working on. i brought up an issue i was working on in the tcs tribal thread- dd throwing food. it was really starting to piss me off. but when i stood back, detached, i was able to see that in the large picture, dd throwing food onto the floor is not a big deal. no, it is not "socially acceptable," but as another mama hinted, she will not be doing this when she is 5. and she is not hurting herself, any one else. do i continue to ask her to place her food onto the table when she does not want that piece of food rather then throw it onto the floor? yes. but i no longer respond w/ a pissy voice, or a degrading voice. my parent's tone of voice was often filled w/ displeasure , disastisfaction- and constant sighs- for doing the simplest things that did not fit into their view of what i "should" be doing. i never want to do that w/ my dd.

egads, i am babbling here. but just wanted to say that parenting my dd consciously, w/ o a bunch of limits, restrictions and "shoulds," exposes my own vulnerabilities and wounds, and allows me to let dd be who she wants to be, while allowing me to personally heal.

on a lighter note, dd has been nursing a new baby doll she got. it is very cute. sometimes i get to nurse her new baby too.

blessings to all....
lisa
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#268 of 647 Old 08-22-2004, 03:33 PM
 
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I can share a few pictures with ya'll. I'll leave this link up for a day or two. Most of these are from our trip to Cali, except the one of dd in the pool.

Enjoy!

*
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#269 of 647 Old 08-22-2004, 04:23 PM
 
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Punkprincessmama what a beautiful family you have! It looks like you had lots of fun in San Francisco. I enjoy visiting California when I get the chance.

I had a wonderful day on Friday. The moms of the playgroup that Christopher and I belong to threw me a baby shower. They presented me with 5 meals to be frozen and a paper stating that they had purchased 6 Happy Heinys for the baby off of my wishlist. I was excited! I can't wait to get the diapers in the mail. I am thrilled with the meals as well because that will be less cooking to do once David is here.

Loving Mom to DS (7) and DS (5).
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#270 of 647 Old 08-22-2004, 04:24 PM
 
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punkprincessmama-
what a cutie!!!!!! thanks for the wonderful pix!


lisa
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