What to do about toddler grabbing mom's breasts - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-06-2004, 11:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My DD is 34 months old. She finished gradually and gently weaning about 8 months ago. I know it's normal for breastfed toddlers to reach into mom's shirt when they want to nurse or are looking for comfort, but my DD is STILL doing it. If she gets upset and I pick her up, she immediately starts reaching. And it's really bad at bedtime (I lie down with her to get her to sleep, and we literally start wrestling as she pulls at the neckline of my shirt).

I don't care so much about people seeing her do it in public, but it is annoying, and I'm 25 weeks pregnant, so my breasts are pretty sensitive, and I don't like someone pinching and grabbing.

Any thoughts about how to discourage this? I've tried explaining to her that some things are private and that I don't like it when she grabs me, and when it's possible, I move away from her, but at nighttime if I get up and leave the bed she freaks out (she's not much of a sleeper). I don't want to be too harsh with her, but I'd like her to understand that there are some limits on mom's body, especially parts that are covered with clothing. She gets plently of hugs, kisses and snuggles, so I don't think it's about making up for any lack there.
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Old 08-06-2004, 01:05 PM
 
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Gosh, I wish I had some advice for you. Just wanted to say that I'm not even pg, and that would drive me nuts.

One thing I've heard of people doing with twiddlers - not that it's the same thing. Could you let her hug/touch your arm instead? My dd loves wrapping her arms around my upper arm - maybe that would satisfy your DD's "softness/closeness" need?

Just a thought. I hope you find something that works.

Best,
Nichole

Nichole
wife to Sasha, mom to Marlena, nursed for 3.5 years, aunt to 3 adorable nephews
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Old 08-06-2004, 02:40 PM
 
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I dont have any experience to share, since DD is still nursing and Im not bothered when she does it. I would probably try what Nicole suggested. Maybe she just needs that skin on skin closeness and a soft arm or something like that might work. I know Marissa often nurses than just wants to cuddle, but I cant pull my shirt down or she will freak out. She just wants the skin of my breast or belly (soft and warm) on her cheek.
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Old 08-06-2004, 03:27 PM
 
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I am wondering about this myself. DS is 21 months and he weaned at 16 months because I am PG. Every now and then I will be talking with a friend while holding him and next thing I know his hand is down the front of my shirt. I offer plenty of hugs, snuggles, and loving. Any suggestions?

Loving Mom to DS (7) and DS (5).
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Old 08-06-2004, 10:44 PM
 
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Old 08-07-2004, 01:44 PM
 
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Maybe she has fond memories of nursing and just wants to touch the breasts that fed her for so long. It might work to have a designated "touching time" every day and limit it to that time only.
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Old 08-08-2004, 04:57 PM
 
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My dd is also 34 months old - and I am 23 weeks pg. Dd also loves to touch my "nursies", altough she weaned about nine months ago. She seems even more interested now than she did several months ago - and I think it is because she is so excited about and aware of the new baby, and of course the new baby will get to nurse. I wonder if she is adjusting to the idea of someone else laying claim to mama's nursies. I allow her to touch all she wants at bedtime, when we are reading stories and cuddling together in her bed. I also allow it in the morning, when we often cuddle and read again. She can touch them if I am in the tub with her. But other than that - when I am fully dressed - they are private and I am firm about no touching. She loves to try to sneak a few touches when I am changing or getting out of the shower, etc. We ususally laugh and I let her have a quick touch, but once I am clothed, hands out! So she does still get to touch them, but there are limits. It works for us. Good luck!
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Old 08-08-2004, 10:12 PM
 
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my dd is 30 months old. i am 31 weeks pg. we are still nursing.

i have explained to her that mommies' breasts sometimes get sore when mommies are growing new babies. i explain that i need her to be gentle with my breasts, and that grabbing at them hurts them.

she understands, and now will try to give them gentle hugs and gently pat them and say, 'it's okay, breasts'. it really is very sweet.

as for the laying down time at night. i have a friend whose daughter was a notorious twiddler. what the mom ended up doing was setting a timer for 2 minutes (or however long you can bear) and once the timer rang, the boobs were resting and not to be touched. it took awhile, and her dd was upset at first, but it did work


i feel for you and wish you success.
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