I would recommend the book "First Feelings: Milestones in the Emotional Development of Your Baby and Child
" by Greenspan and Greenspan.
It does a nice job of talking about typical emotional development, and
about things you can do. It sounds to me like you may indeed need to 'back off' a bit and take your relationship back to an earlier step -- you may need to go back to 'wooing' your daughter (Greenspan describes this in more detail), and then building from there. It's very very possible to develop the closeness you desire, so don't despair.
You can start by getting down on the floor and letting her lead. Observe what she does, what does she like to do? Instead of trying to get her to come to you, see if she'll tolerate you coming into her play. When she'll do that, then you can become engaged around things she's focused on.
A lot of children have 'favorite parents' and it's a common stage of emotional development that they 'choose' one parent over the other. Some kids do this more intensely and more overtly than others. And there's a reason that the phrases "momma's boy" and "daddy's girl" are around -- lots of kids appear to prefer the parent of the opposite gender!
I also second the book "The Five Love Languages of Children". (I'm currently reading it now.) It sounds like your personal love language might be 'words of affirmation', i.e. you need to hear that she loves you. Hers might be something very different (thought at this age, you can't really tell, she's too little.)
Some children aren't cuddly. Our ds is like that. I had to teach
the child how to hug (he'd hold himself stiffly in your arms). I can count on one hand the number of times he's told me that he loves me (he's 6 1/2). When he was 2 1/2, he used to say "I really really like you." But he wouldn't say "I love you." His idea of 'cuddling' is to lie 3 feet away from me on the bed! And yet, he loves me no less intensely than his sister, who will freely give hugs, prefers to sleep physically touching me, and announces about once a day "I love you." He just shows it very differently (following me around the house, asking for my help, wanting me to sit next to him while he does his homework).
Finally, did you suffer from depression when she was born? If you had trouble breastfeeding, it's very possible the stress of that (and other things) could have led to depression - and if it's not been treated, then the hormones from this current pregnancy aren't going to help at all. Depression can interfere with your connection with a child. If you think you might be depressed, talk to your doctor or midwife. Think about counseling for yourself if you think it would help.