Leaving my son inside alone for 5 min? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-28-2004, 03:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Lucky One
Well, loving-my-babies, since you asked, I expected the replies to address the question asked by the OP. The question was: Do you think it is OK to leave a 22 month old inside a house for 5 minutes by himself? IMO, the reason she was leaving him alone was beside the point. Who cares if she was smoking, hanging up diapers, talking to a neighbor across a fence--it's all the same.

Most adults, especially smokers, know the risks involved. Snide comments and condescending remarks like these:

do not, to my knowledge, help anyone overcome an addiction.

Me neither.

And finally, would have you directed her to MDC's mission statement if her post count had been 600 as opposed to 6?

Her sig shows a mama wearing a sling reading a book to her dc. I just felt a lot of snap judegements were made about her because she mentioned smoking in her post.
ITA your whole post! wonderful.

my dd is 23 months and i do my thing, she does hers...alot! i dont smoke...I dont talk to neighbors either (much more stress on my body than smoking, lol) but because i am sewing or washing dishes or sorting beans doesnt mean because i am a sahm i should be reading or dancing or teaching a letter to my dd (how do know the OP isnt doing that stuff every OTHER minute than those 5 she would like a ciggarette) my dd needs a chance to play on her own, too....and doesnt need me in her business every minute! maybe the OP child is like that as well. my husbands gets breaks at work...i get breaks too. he has to make sure everything is safe and tidy before he can leave his post, as must I. i dont think any mama here would abandon thier child in a dangerous situation and/or crying and needy to smoke a ciggarette!

while addictive behaviors can be harmful and dangerous, and chronic smoking is something i personally think is icky.....i dont begrudge any human, a parent, a mama.....a toke on a cigar, ciggarette, pipe.....whatever. its been done for centuries as a leisure activity! modern ciggarettes are loaded with chemicals...maybe she smokes hand rolled organic tobacco
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Old 09-28-2004, 03:47 PM
 
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Melmel--your agreeing with another's post...and I agree with yours...:LOL

I wonder if this mama would have been flamed if she had posted about running out to check the mail, or sweeping her deck...etc.

But I will admit--When I first read the OP, I thought it was a troll...I have my reasons : But then I checked and she had some sincere posts before that...so then I felt bad for "assuming" she was a troll.

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Old 09-28-2004, 04:04 PM
 
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I wonder why you take such personal offense to what I said about bettering yourself. There is nothing more to that than statment than was written. Your perception is not my issue.


Quote:
Originally Posted by KirstenMary
No, I don't. And IMO, my comment wasn't baiting at all, kwim (my implication v. your perception)???? The perception of your words my have been far different from your intention; to me, that was exactly the implication.
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Old 09-28-2004, 04:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by my~hearts~light
I wonder why you take such personal offense to what I said about bettering yourself. There is nothing more to that than statment than was written. Your perception is not my issue.
I am not taking personal offense at all; I simply find the statement of "bettering onself by doing X" to be offensive in light of the OP. And I KNOW that MY perception is not YOUR issue. That seems to be a common attitude here at MDC.

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Old 09-28-2004, 04:59 PM
 
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After reading this thread it seems to me that 95% of the judgemental comments and general snarkiness have been between respondents to the OP, arguing about whether they were judgemental or not. Yeah, maybe a few isolated comments about the OP's smoking habits were not phrased as nicely as they could have been, but they are nothing compared to the accusations we are hurling at each other.

The bottom line is, if you are doing something that is unhealthy and you would not want your children to emulate, you should make every effort to stop. It's not about leaving your child alone for 5 minutes. It's about setting a good example. How is this offensive?
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Old 09-28-2004, 05:46 PM
 
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Mona & happyhippiemama,

thanks, but I think Helen White rocks! She's taking the words right out of my keyboard Too bad we don't all live close IRL...

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Old 09-28-2004, 05:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by famousmockngbrd
The bottom line is, if you are doing something that is unhealthy and you would not want your children to emulate, you should make every effort to stop. It's not about leaving your child alone for 5 minutes. It's about setting a good example. How is this offensive??
Because the OP never said anything like, "I think I am being unhelathy and I do not want my children to emulate me. Please help me stop." It WAS about leaving her child alone for 5 minutes. Everyone else made the issue a smoking (no punn intended) issue.

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Old 09-28-2004, 06:05 PM
 
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and so the dead horse is soundly flogged...

I do wonder, though about this:
Quote:
I wonder if this mama would have been flamed if she had posted about running out to check the mail, or sweeping her deck...etc.
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Old 09-28-2004, 06:15 PM
 
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I think this thread got way off track but with the best of intentions. It may not have been the issue in the op but there was good reason behind posters mentioning it.

LOTS of smoking terrific mothers do not know the truth about what smoking even outside does to your children. Would we have said anything if she had been sweeping her deck. Probably not. BUT, If a parent was doing anything else say..... putting vanilla on a teething babies gums.... it's not likely to kill the kid but maybe a well meaning mother told her it was ok to do. Would you ignore that for worry of offending her? That doesn't serve anyone well.


I think the smoking issue got out of hand but I think it shows that we care enough about our community members to make sure they are aware of potential hazards.

I also wonder why the OP has been online even today and has not responded to this thread.


This should have been summed up by saying that you have to trust your instincts. If it feels questionable it is. We are all going to see this differently and none of us can choose what is right for you.
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Old 09-28-2004, 11:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raven
The problem usually arises in the HOW rather than the WHAT.
I totally agree. Some of the posts were very rude.

I know I also let my bias against smoking affect my answer...I won't go into the whole smoking thing but it is a fact that the question was not about smoking. It was about leaving a child semi-unattended.
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Old 09-28-2004, 11:48 PM
 
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Zippity doo dah
zippity day
My oh my what a wonderful day
plenty of sunshine
heading my way
zippity doo dah
zippity daaaaayyyyyy!

Hunger is political.  Wherever there is widespread hunger, it is because people with guns are preventing other people from bringing in food.  
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Old 09-28-2004, 11:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by my~hearts~light
I do not think it follows what MDC is about (my opinion of course) to in any way encourage or support unhealthy habits or parenting. Leaving your DC alone to support an unhealthy habit is not NATURAL doesn't support FAMILY or LIVING for that matter.
For me, I only smoke organic tobacco. I don't smoke daily and when I do smoke, it's not more than one a day. In fact, I haven't smoked since I became pregnant. I don't have an addiction nor do I feel it is unhealthy or that it impedes natural or family or living to take a moment to honor and enjoy natural, organic tobacco in a safe, child-free setting. I also dont' see that asking advice from this group on how to best go about doing so is against natural or family or living. We don't know this woman's smoking habits. We only know that she wants to figure out how to step away from her child when she does smoke in such a way that she is considering his needs and safety above all.
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Old 09-29-2004, 12:07 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BusyMommy
and so the dead horse is soundly flogged...

:
Worth repeating
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Old 09-29-2004, 12:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by my~hearts~light
What I'm learning from this thread is that people point the judgment finger at you if you dare to have an opinion that doesn't make them feel good about their decisions.

although i don't agree with the rest of you post, i have to say you do have a point. it makes me mad when people post their "booboos" and want to be comforted. but there's also a lot of mommas on this board who honestly just seek advise and yes, feel free to express your opinion, but stick with the topic. the op did not ask for anyone's help to quit smoking. and that whole discussion about CC really went a little far, imo.
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Old 09-29-2004, 12:20 AM
 
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Man, I can't change the subject for love nor money!

How 'bout this one,
So, a ham sandwich walks into a bar and says, 'can I have a beer please?" and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

Hunger is political.  Wherever there is widespread hunger, it is because people with guns are preventing other people from bringing in food.  
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Old 09-29-2004, 12:26 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calm
Man, I can't change the subject for love nor money!

How 'bout this one,
So, a ham sandwich walks into a bar and says, 'can I have a beer please?" and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
I dont like nor do I approve of jokes about public establishments that discriminate against patrons of ANY type (animal, vegetable, mineral)

and dont they allow smoking in bars? that sandwich shouldnt even of gone IN there.....

: : :
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Old 09-29-2004, 12:29 AM
 
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i think it's time for a and then close this thread...
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Old 09-29-2004, 12:53 AM
 
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Count me in.


Hunger is political.  Wherever there is widespread hunger, it is because people with guns are preventing other people from bringing in food.  
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Old 09-29-2004, 06:34 AM
 
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Old 09-29-2004, 07:32 AM
 
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And another thing about judgement and smoking and kids and.....

JOKE!!!

Almost had you though, didn't I?
(sick and twisted, me)

Hunger is political.  Wherever there is widespread hunger, it is because people with guns are preventing other people from bringing in food.  
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Old 09-29-2004, 11:17 AM
 
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I don't think they should close the thread. let's just be civilized, decide to stop and let it die on it's own. we're capable of that, right?
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Old 09-29-2004, 01:11 PM
 
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I sure hope so! There will always be that thread where we all see things a little differently and we need to learn to accept that with grace and instead of agreeing to disagree we should just refrain at times from pointing it out.
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Old 09-29-2004, 02:51 PM
 
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My coffee is particularly yummy this morning.
mmmmmmmmm
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