3 Year old becoming very clingy - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-05-2005, 07:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Owen seemed to be relishing his "Freedom" and all that comes with becoming an independant toddler. Suddenly, he decided to freak if I'm gone. He will know I'm in the bathroom, but will cry and yell out "mommy!!!!!!!!!!!! where are you????????????????????" He is inconsolible about everything, and everything is said in a whiny tone. "But I want to play with the traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain..." "sure Owen, lets play train" "I wanna be thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan" "sure, no problem". Like, he is whining and being traumatized when nothing has even happened!!

What gives? A stage? A short stage? Please oh please oh Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaase!? He will be 3 in a week...

oh, and our conversations go as follows: "Owen, is something bothering you?" "I'm just sad" or "I don't know". ???
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Old 01-05-2005, 08:05 PM
 
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I was going to post something like this too. I have a 3 1/2 year old who suddenly wants mommy to do everything. Things she could do before on her own, I know have to do. Daddy can't help either. She used to get herself dressed. Now I have to. Daddy can't help her get into her carseat. Can't give her a bath, can't get her more milk, etc. It has to be mommy.

Is this a stage, or is there something else going on? The holiday stress getting to her and she needs comfort and stability from mommy?

I'm just trying to ride it out, but it gets hard.

So, I know where you are coming from. I don't have any answers, but you aren't alone.
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Old 01-06-2005, 03:17 AM
 
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Another suddenly super clingy 3 yr old here. My dd used to be very independent, and over the past month or so has become super clingy. She whines ALL DAY LONG and it isn't enough for me to simply hug her, she needs to be *on me*. And everything is asked in that whiny voice. I try to explain that I don't like hearing the whiny tone and she'll say "Okay, I promise (not to whine anymore)" Then 3 seconds later, more whining. It's driving me batty. It has to be a phase. I hope!
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Old 01-06-2005, 04:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh man that sounds so like us! I'm constantly saying "speak in a normal voice!!!!" and more often than I care to say "please stop touching me!!!"
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Old 01-06-2005, 04:44 AM
 
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Oh mamas, I'm with you. DS is just over 3 and suddenly needs me ALL the time, daddy won't do anymore, he's constantly breaking down into tears/whining sessions, won't do things by himself, etc. Yesterday he FLIPPED out because I went out the house for 2 hrs; something that would never normally phase him. I haven't been sure how much is to do with upcoming new baby and how much is a stage he's in.
Thinking about it more I think it's natural regression; 3 is a huge shift developmentally when they becaome much more independent and we suddenly increase our expectations of our child. They're learning a huge new amount and I think it's a case of 5 steps forward, 10 steps back, iykwim?
I'm realising now how much of a big deal we made out of DS's 3rd b.day and being a "big boy" and today is his first day alone at nursery school...all things he's been really excited about but at the same time he is walking around all day in a baby voice saying "I'm your baby boy". Must be scary to grow up and change so fast and I guess they have to cling onto still being our little babies and making sure we're still there for them (I always tell him, yes you are my little baby, AND you're a big boy sometimes too).
I DO think they will work through this phase...I know a lot of 3 yr olds who've regressed but don't know too many 5 year olds like this!
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Old 01-06-2005, 01:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Are there ANY books that discuss toddlers and their phases?
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Old 01-06-2005, 04:16 PM
 
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Well, as you can tell by the replies you've gotten, you 'aint alone

All I know is, with all of my kids, three was full of whining, neediness and the like. Everyone jokes about "terrible two's " Two's for us were always WONDERFUL and then I swear on their 3rd birthdays they'd wake up and be children I didn't even recognize.
BUT! The good news is, it IS just a phase. If your an AP kinda parent, just meet them with love as you did when they were a baby (and really at 3 they kinda are) and they'll move through it.
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Old 01-06-2005, 04:24 PM
 
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Here's another match. My 3 and 1/2 year old all of a sudden can't do anything, go anywhere or stay anywhere without me. What gets me the most is that when my others were this small, I never even tried to do anything without them. I feel like the worst mother in all creation for needing to do things with my older kids or for wanting a little time to myself.

I know that all the things they do are phases and will eventually change, but for me, there is an overlay of emotion to deal with. I don't know what to do with these feelings (really for the first time) that I need to have time for myself and things other than my toddler.

Help?!?!?!?
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