Grabbing/not sharing/mine mine MINE! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 02-26-2005, 02:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My 21 month old daughter has just in the past week or so become horribly greedy and selfish with EVERYTHING. She doesn't want her sister to sit on my lap or even to hug me, won't let any of her friends even touch her toys, and even tried to push my friend's own son out of her lap! She didn't want to share HIS mommy with him!

I don't really remember this phase with dd#1, but then again, she didn't have anyone to share with! How long does this "phase" last? (PLEASE tell me it *is* a phase!) Can I really teach her that she must share? I don't know what expectations I should have of her. It's embarrassing when she is so horrible in front of my friends. And it is really extreme...she doesn't even want the dog to eat its own food!

Sometimes she even pushes my face away when she's nursing so I won't look at her while she's having "miwk". She wraps her arms around my breast so she can't see my face and I can't see hers, and un-latches now and then to say "Mine! Mine miwk!" As if anyone is trying to take it away from her...not!

Please share with me when your dear children got over this...thanks!
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#2 of 6 Old 02-27-2005, 12:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was sure that this was a phase? No one else out there going through this with their toddler?
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#3 of 6 Old 02-27-2005, 12:42 PM
 
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Not enough time right now to do an extended post...but I think it's a phase. But, I also think you have to work on sharing. I do a lot of it's so and so's turn right now. Soon as they are done you can have a turn. We had to do this because dd would fight the cats for the cat tower...you can imagine who usually won. With dd crying over her new *stripes.* Now she will say "it's mishu's turn." Usually followed not long with "get down Mishu, I want a turn." But it's better...


:LOL mine mine miwk
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#4 of 6 Old 02-27-2005, 01:53 PM
 
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Totally normal. Kids at that age are establishing autonomy. They have to experience this phase in order to pass that stage of development. It doesn't mean you have to always allow it. You can start to set limits. But just understanding that it's normal can often make you feel less frustrated.

Darshani

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#5 of 6 Old 02-27-2005, 04:50 PM
 
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Normal! I wouldn't make her share things that actually belong to her but I wouldn't let her take things that don't. The dog food belongs to the dog. The dog does not have to share with dd. Mommy belongs to Mommy and can share herself with whomever she pleases. Etc. My ds used to turn my face away from him while nursing, too.

Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
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#6 of 6 Old 02-28-2005, 02:06 AM
 
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I think it is probably just a phase. Isn't it funny how different they are?

As for the dog - my 20 month old feeds our dog - that is his "job". He takes a bunch of pride in it - maybe that would help with that specific issue and let her practice sharing.

BJ
Barney & Ben
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