Something I didnt think of mentioning yesterday was that my very wise, AP pediatrician told me to wait until 18 months for nightweaning, if that was my goal. She strongly believes that at 18 months a toddler has the ability to understand explanations such as 'nursing is going to sleep, everybody is going to sleep, it's dark now, we'll nurse in the morning when it's light' etc.
We waited until around 18months with dd and it turned out fine for us. I don't think that 15 mins of crying, in your arms, is remotely like CIO, by the way!
cnick, I wasnt' intending to be hard on you. I do try to be respectful of others on the boards and IRL. I'm sorry if I sounded harsh - this is one subject that I find hard to see the 'other side' to (although I can fully understand parents wanting to do so
As others have said here, just the name 'babywise' tends to push buttons around here! I wasn't clear also what age you were talking about, with either your child or your friend's. Whilst I personally don't think CIO is right at any age, I can see that some poeple feel it is different with a toddler to a baby. I agree that it isn't right for night waking to put such pressure on a parent or a marriage, but personally would look for other solutions than CIO.
Regarding the research I talked of on the damage done by CIO in primates, the reference is :
Coe, C.L., Glass, J.C., Wiener, S.G., Levine, S. (1983). Behavioral, but not physiological, adaptation to repeated separation in mother and infant primates. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 8(4): 401-409, cited in API News, Vol.5, No.1, 2002
There is currently some research being done on human babies, but I don't have the details. I believe it was mentioned in last month's Mothering magazine.
And I'll second abimommy's welcome! I'm sure you will enjoy meeting lots of other wonderful mothers here.