Toddler violently shook playpen with baby inside: how to discipline/prevent? - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-09-2005, 11:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I was downstairs tending laundry when dd1 shook the playpen up on its end far enough to actually flip the baby over! I really freaked out at her. I screamed loudly, grabbed her and put her on the sofa. I told her I never wanted her near me or the baby again (I know, way too harsh, but I was so angry!) Later I talked to her in a calm voice and told her to never do that again (moving the pen with baby inside has been a daily issue for some time). DD2 was upset and crying, but seems ok, though I posted in babes about what to watch for in her.
Now, I didn't actually see it happen, and I know dd2 is working on rolling from her back to one side, but when I talked to dd1 about what happen, and she used mostly gestures, I gathered that dd1 rocked it up on its end, dd2 flipped over on her head (somersault style), possibly hit the end wall of the pen then landed on her tummy, with her head touching the end wall. She wasn't laying straight, either. Last I saw her she was on her back in the middle of the pen, but I don't recall which end she was facing when I put her in there.


I guess there are a few issues here, one being my own mishandled anger, but I am at a loss about how to get her to stop doing these sorts of things, and how I *should* have handled it, or how could I have handled it better.


I am so scared for the well-being of my dd2, I'm surprised it wasn't much worse. But I am also worried for the emotional well-being of dd1...
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Old 05-09-2005, 12:05 PM
 
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Old 05-09-2005, 12:08 PM
 
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You shouldn't leave them in the same room together. Can you bring the baby with you when you do laundry, either in a sling or with a babyseat in the laundry area? Toddlers are the biggest danger to babies.

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Old 05-09-2005, 03:47 PM
 
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I don't have a toddler yet, but I will tell you what some friends of ours did as far as raising their 3 dc.
After they became pregnant with #2, they told #1 that this would be her baby, too. They let her help with doing the little things to take care of dc#2. They tried their best to foster nothing but good feelings between them, etc. All of the kids play wonderfully with each other, not a ton of sibling rivalry. I know a lot of #1s feel displaced after they have a little brother or sister, because the little one needs more care. I agree with the pp in needing to watch and not leave them along together, and to praise dd1 everytime she's gentle with dd2. If sibling rivalry is the problem, let her help with something, like changing the diaper. Maybe that will help?

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Old 05-09-2005, 05:09 PM
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I read this thread with interest since our second child is due in 2 weeks, and DS is 27 mos. old and let's just say he's a very spirited, active little boy!

I sympathize with the laundry issue. Our is in the basement. Such a PITA. I am planning on slinging the baby and taking her with me when I have to leave the room momentarily; or else putting her down in a safe place on the other side of the safety gate so that DS will not be tempted to pick her up, throw toys on her, etc. All the little things he now tries to do to our poor cat!

I'm sorry you reacted as you did. It's understandable. You're probably stressed and it's scary to think of your infant being harmed. But it sounds as if you have mended things with your daughter. I agree with the PPs, step back and count to ten when you have to.

When DS occasionally bites or hits, I have the same feelings: I want to scream at him. I have raised my voice at times but I have learned that the best reaction is to say "no" and walk away. In your case obviously a talk was in order but you seem to have done that. Don't beat yourself up too much! Learn and move on. That's what good parents do. Hang in there!
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Old 05-09-2005, 05:39 PM
 
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