DD behavior since new baby came - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 05-12-2005, 10:22 PM - Thread Starter
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My 16mo. old DD is having SERIOUS behavioral issues every since the new baby has come into the picture. She is getting LOTS of attention and lots of one-on-one attention as well yet she FREAKS out all the time over the simplest things. Throws, kicks, screams, and tantrums on the floor. :

And she has "adapted" a rather infantile bed routine. She MUST have milk and once the bottle is gone she freaks and throws it. What used to be a simple putting her in the crib after her bottle was gone has turned into a spaz fest of needing to be cuddled, rocked, and held tightly for long periods of time. Part of LOVES that she wants to do that again but the other part of me is puzzled by the behavior. Granted this is still a very new adjustment of her, having a little sister, but come on!

It just breaks my heart to see her cry when I HAVE to put her down in her crib.

How have you other Mama's dealt with this jealousy and adjustment of sibs?
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#2 of 4 Old 05-12-2005, 11:48 PM
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Time and patience Mama It tok my oldest ds 6 months to adjust to his baby brother. We had our good days and our bad days, but overall it was a full 6 months of issues of some kind or another. This time he hasn't had any problem adjusting to dd. Ds2 OTOH is crazy. He fluctuates between wanting to nurse TONS to being overly agressive to wanting to be a "big boy". We just go with it, follow his cues, meet him where he is at and try to be mindful of what he is going through. His whole world has changed and it is hard on him. I find if I keep him busy helping me (not with the baby, but with the household stuff while the baby is in the sling) he is better. Lots of outside time and one-on-one time helps too. Just making him feel like we have special little things for the 2 of us also keeps him feeling like his place within the family is secure (like this morning when I made some herbal tea in a cool little tea pot and we shared it with lots of honey while ds1 was busy and dd slept). He appreciates these little things and his behaviour reflects that

I don't know if this will help with your dd, but these are just some of the things that have been working for us.


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#3 of 4 Old 05-13-2005, 06:47 PM
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Oh poor mama, this time period is so hard for everyone involved. Unfortunalty, I don't think that I have heard any really easy adjustments for siblings. I remember feeling so guilty about how my ds1 was going to feel after ds2 was born. DO NOT LET YOUR DAUGHTER KNOW YOUR GUILT!!!! Yeah, just speaking from experience! I felt so bad after ds2 was born, that I just about did everything and anything I could to make ds1 feel better. He sensed the blood in the water and took full advantage of this. It took a while to get control over the situation, and I realized I actually caused some of his bad behavior : But the most important thing is to give her lots of one-on-one attention , without giving in to her every whimm (much easier said then done)! If she needs extra cuddling or loves, maybe you could start bedtime earlier and do some extra things then. I remember having my husband take over bed time, because my son loved to have daddy time, or if that won't work, maybe you could hand baby off, and make bedtime you and ds1 special time? But most importantly, she will get through it, and it is just a stage. Hang in there, I'll be sending you strength to get through bedtime!!!

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#4 of 4 Old 05-13-2005, 11:16 PM
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I am right in your shoes! I have a 24 month old and a 3 week old. My 24 month old hasn't acknowleged his new sis at all. in fact, all he does is tantrum and whines! I was beginning to think he was seriously emotionally disturbed or something. Glad I am not alone. It is tough, isn't it?I dont have any advice, I am lost on the subject myself
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