Biting the binky - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 05-16-2005, 11:17 AM - Thread Starter
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DS, 27 mos. is attached to his binky, esp. for sleeping. Lately he has been wanting it even more often. But now I notice he is biting them--actually biting holes in the nipple part that is obviously a potential choking hazard. In some cases he has bitten the nipple half-off!

I can try to wean him, but it's going to take awhile. Meantime, I am spending a fortune on them. Are there any industrial strength ones out there? LOL The ones he likes are Gerber Nuks, silicone.

Thanks for any ideas!
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#2 of 10 Old 05-16-2005, 03:46 PM
 
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My ds did this when he was 2 and a half and I took the binkys away the first time he did it. He had bitten the nipple almost completely off. I cut it off the rest of the way and told him they were broken. I let him keep the binky with the nipple cut off. It was a little seeing him try to suck on it. The next day he decided he didn't want it anymore and threw it out himself. When he asked for it over the next few days I reminded him he had thrown it out and he was okay with that. Within 2 weeks his naps/bedtime were back to normal. Weaning him from it was not nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be.

If I were you I would wean him now, cold turkey. Even if you do find an "industrial strength" binky you don't want the strength of that binky tested in the middle of the night. Does he sleep with you? People that are choking (no air getting through at all) are silent. You won't hear him choking through the baby moniter.

I know it's not what you wanted to hear but it's my honest opinion. The weaning process, however long and difficult, is far better than a child choking to death. I couldn't sleep at night knowing ds could chew through the binky and swallow a piece. It just wasn't worth it.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
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#3 of 10 Old 05-16-2005, 04:53 PM - Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovemyBoo

I know it's not what you wanted to hear but it's my honest opinion. The weaning process, however long and difficult, is far better than a child choking to death. I couldn't sleep at night knowing ds could chew through the binky and swallow a piece. It just wasn't worth it.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
What you are saying makes good sense. I did buy some more today and talked to him about not biting them but I doubt that will work. So now he knows I bought new ones...arghh....in fact he is napping with one right now. If I see even a tiny tear in it when he wakes up, I will follow your plan. In the meantime, I will take it away after he falls asleep. That will create waking issues, but oh well. (Actually, I think the biting might be happening when he is using it during the day--something he started when he got sick last month) You are right, it is too dangerous to take the chance. Thanks!
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#4 of 10 Old 05-16-2005, 05:57 PM - Thread Starter
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I should have added what bad timing this is...I am due with #2 next week! Any tips? I agree it is better safe than sorry. I just worry that he is going to feel worse about it with a new baby coming. What bad timing! Argh! I wish I had thought to start weaning him sooner, but this biting thing just started.

I went up and took the new binky away while he was sleeping. Do you think I should lie and tell him he bit it while he was asleep? And then follow your plan to cut it off? I would feel bad lying, but as it is a new binky it's not damaged yet....
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#5 of 10 Old 05-16-2005, 06:35 PM
 
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I weaned both my girls around 16 months. # 1 I just took it away - she did whine and fuss for it the first few nights but then was good. With # 2 I cut it completely off, gave it to her and said it was broken. She didn't make a single fuss or anything. She kept the cut off one in her crib for a couple nights then chucked and and hasn't looked back...
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#6 of 10 Old 05-16-2005, 06:52 PM
 
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My ds wasn't biting holes in it or anything, but he was chewing on it rather than sucking. It was incredibly annoying, and rather than relaxing him, it was stimulating him--he would keep himself awake with it at nap and bed time. Dh and I decided it was time for the binkies to go, but we have done a gradual weaning by cutting the binkies off like the previous poster. We started by cutting the very tip of the binky off with a scissors. Ds was very perplexed by this, but he never protested, cried, or got upset in any way about it. Every few days we'd cut off just a little bit more of the tip, and now, his binkies are all just tiny nubs. He can't suck on them anymore. He gave up sucking on them after the first couple of cuts without any protest at all. He still holds them in his hand, but they are out of his mouth. He also doesn't ask for one anymore except when he's going to sleep. It has been an amazingly easy transition, except that he is still having a hard time getting to sleep. I thought that this was because of not having his pacifier, but then I realized that he was having trouble before, when he was chewing it. Also, I think I have accepted that he is now officially in the "trying to give up naps" phase of life, and that is as much of the problem as anything else.
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#7 of 10 Old 05-16-2005, 10:42 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for all the input! I talked to Dh who agreed that it is the daytime use that seems to be damaging them. We have both noticed DS fooling with the binky and chewing it during daytime. He started that while in the hosp. last month. We are going to wean off it...as quickly as possible. Starting with no more binky during waking hours. At night, I am going to remove it as soon as he falls asleep. If he wakes and asks for it, I will give it back. This doesn't happen every night, anyway, and then not til about 4am.

I used to wash them daily in the dishwasher (which I have noticed really weakens the silicone) so I will now wash them by hand and inspect them before and after each use, not every few days. It seems like it took DS several days of hard use to damage the other ones he broke. I also took one and sucked and chewed on it tonight (gag) to test it and I couldn't get a hole in it to save my life. You can't just bite a hole in one of those in one try, that's for sure. I know I didn't suck on it for hours, but he isn't going to be doing that anymore, either. The ones he has are brand-new and as soon as they show any sign of wear, or sooner if feasible, I am going to cut off the nipple as you guys suggested and tell him that they are broken. Maybe suggest that he trade them for a new toy or something....

I really appreciate the advice. I would LOVE to try cold turkey but with his recent illness (in hosp. with Rotavirus last month for 4 days--and has just started to get back to normal sleeping etc.) plus the new baby due any day I really would feel awful removing his comfort object. Particularly since I am having a hospital birth and will be away from him for two nights.

DH and I feel that with these measure to reduce the use of the binky (taking it away while he is sleeping so that he couldn't chew it while we weren't there to supervise--although this is highly unlikely since he generally sleeps through and when I check on him, the binky has inevitably fallen out-- and not letting him use it while awake, it will be safe to wean him more slowly. What do you guys think? I know it all sounds like a PITA, but I am just worried about stressing him further and all of us getting tired out and stressed on top of the new baby arriving....and I just can't picture my poor DS begging for his binky while my sister tries to soothe him at midnight or something without it if I'm giving birth and he's not weaned yet...KWIM?
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#8 of 10 Old 05-16-2005, 11:14 PM
 
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Sounds like you have plan.

My daughter gave up her pacifier at 3 years, however we were on vacation and I forgot to bring one and couldn't go and get one because everything was closed so we just told her that I couldn't get one and that was okay and she went to sleep and that was the end.

However, I think cold turkey is the best approach if he is biting it apart. What about trying to substitue something else, like a special blanky or stuffed toy without anything he could chew off, like buttons etc.
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#9 of 10 Old 05-17-2005, 01:31 AM
 
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Rainbowbird, I'm with you. With the circumstances you've described, there would be no way I could take my ds's binky away cold turkey. I think what you've described will be good.

The binky has a lot of power in the child's mind. My ds didn't complain at all when we cut the tip off his. But he still holds it every night while going to sleep. There's still obviously a huge connection there for him. I would vote for a gentle weaning when humanly possible. If you cut the tip off enough, it's not likely he would be able to get his teeth in the right position to chew another hole. But the choice about giving it up completely would still be his.

I'm so sorry to hear about the rotavirus! My ds was hospitalized overnight for it when he was 7 months old. It is a horrible illness!
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#10 of 10 Old 05-17-2005, 04:20 PM - Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurel
Rainbowbird, I'm with you. With the circumstances you've described, there would be no way I could take my ds's binky away cold turkey. I think what you've described will be good.
Thanks for the reassurance. I really appreciate it! We feel comfortable doing it this way. It has not been too hard reverting to the nap/nighttime only thing. I take it away as soon as I give him a drink upon waking. He only asked for it twice today and it was easy to distract him.

I also think he might be getting those two year molars. He has been chewing on everything in sight. I got out the baby toys for the new babies and gave him a teether. I noticed he was shoving it far back in his mouth. He can have the teether (it is super hard rubbery plastic) during the day--under supervision--- if he needs it.

We are just going to be very, very careful. I was taking it for granted that he was still using it appropriately, even though it was getting more daytime use, and not really paying attention to the damage he was doing. Good thing I checked them!
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