15 month old sleeping through the night - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 36 Old 06-04-2005, 09:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Does anybody's 15 month old sleep through the night? I keep thinking it should happen any time now or maybe I'm totally off. My dd wakes up 1 or 2 times a night to nurse. Just wondering.
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#2 of 36 Old 06-04-2005, 09:59 PM
 
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Mine is 18 months and wakes 3-8 times a night, lol. Ds (who is now 6) started sleeping through around 4. Sad but true.

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#3 of 36 Old 06-04-2005, 10:30 PM
 
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Still waiting for my 28 month old to sleep through the night......I feel your pain.
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#4 of 36 Old 06-04-2005, 10:39 PM
 
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please somebody! give me hope. im serious. i cant imagine another year of this!!!! ada's mommy, my ds is 16 m and never ever even comes close to sleeping through the night. actually once he only woke up once, but that was probably 8 months ago. he generally nurses 4-6 times a night. sometimes he only nurses once, but that is because it is an 8 hour nursing session. it would be funny if it didnt totally suck!

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#5 of 36 Old 06-04-2005, 11:04 PM
 
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I am still waiting. My DS, 15 months this week, always wakes around midnight to nurse. He just can't seem to make it to the morning. And then if he sleeps through the midnight nursing...I say-yeah...he will sleep through the night! But, oh no, he wakes up at 2am (even worse). I just try to go with the flow because he really seems to need it.
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#6 of 36 Old 06-04-2005, 11:57 PM
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My 27 mos dd still wakes once for nursing. Hope for a full night of sleep soon!
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#7 of 36 Old 06-05-2005, 12:10 AM
 
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My ds is almost three and he still doesn't sleep through the night consistently. Sometimes he sleeps all night, but often he wakes once a night. He is even in his own bed.
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#8 of 36 Old 06-05-2005, 12:27 AM
 
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Mine sleeps through the night about 50% of the time. However she's not breastfed (she's tube-fed all night) so she doesn't wake up hungry. Sometimes she still needs to be pat or talked to.

My oldest is 4.5 years old and sleeps through the night 75% of the time.

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#9 of 36 Old 06-05-2005, 12:30 AM
 
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My 15 month old went through a phase for about the last 3 weeks where he was sleeping all night .... then I went and mentioned it to DH and *poof* that night he woke up!

I guess it's still a work in progress. I just try to give him what he needs at night, just like I do in the day. If it's a bunch of times though...maybe try to help him get back to sleep with minimal hlep from you....maybe a lovey...I dunno. My son is in his own bed now so I guess it might be very different if cosleeping!

Good luck to you

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#10 of 36 Old 06-05-2005, 12:39 AM
 
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At the risk of sounding smug, my ds is 16 mo and he sleeps 9 hours straight. I have to admit though, I'm sure there must be a nursing in there somewhere. I'm just such a hard sleeper I nurse him without fully waking. He also wakes up at 5:45 AM for the day, so I'm feeling a bit ragged too.

I'm told by friends of mine who had sleep issues that the most important thing you can do to encourage your baby to sleep well at night is to not let them get over tired. For some reason the more worn out they get, the harder it is for them to relax. One of my friends is millitant about naps being on schedule. She will absolutely, under no circumstances, stretch her children at nap time because that would ruin her whole night.

You might try staying home more over the next few weeks and trying to encourage naps before your dd gets obviously tired. Just a thought.
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#11 of 36 Old 06-05-2005, 01:54 AM
 
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Mine just hit 16 months and usually one of them will sleep all night. :: crossing fingers & knocking wood :: Last night both of them did (well, my son woke up & bounced in his crib for a minute & went back to sleep w/out crying).

At 8 months I started transitioning them into cribs, per request of Hubby who wanted to get back into our bed. We'd bring them into our bed when they woke up, usually 3-5 hours after going down (eventually we got a bigger bed to hold all 4 of us!).

Now my son goes to sleep on his own as I'm rocking his sister - I still give them both bottles at naps & bedtime. He still wakes up once, she sleeps through.

Usually...

But I'm not assuming we're out of the woods here - a few months ago they went through a spell where both slept well, but it didn't last. I think the 1-yr molars kicked in.

Both of my kids are on lots o' formula & eating solids.
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#12 of 36 Old 06-05-2005, 02:19 AM
 
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DD is 21 months old and has been sleeping through the night for about 2 months now. Prior to her very casual night weaning, she was waking about 2 hours after going to bed and about 2x in the night. She would also wake up at 4:30am, want to nurse and then...GET UP! Now she goes to bed around 8:30/9pm and gets up at 6am like clockwork. I don't know if she would have night weaning had I not encouraged her to do so (by talking to her about it- in my first trimester- I had a really tough time waking in the night to nurse her on my very sore breasts...) but I really feel like she was ready to night wean (especially since we had no regression). I think the talking to her about it and not forcing the issue (I planned on doing Dr. Gordon's 10 night plan but she ended up night weaning before I even started it!) really helped her to decide if she was ready and thankfully- she was! I certainly know I was ready...it's going to be so much harder to nurse a newborn and night nurse again in a few months but I'll take the little bit of time I have anyway!
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#13 of 36 Old 06-05-2005, 03:23 AM
 
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Ok - here's hope for you.

From 8 to 13 months DS was waking every 2-3 hours for anywhere between 30 minutes to sometimes 2.5 hours. That was with nursing, rocking, singing, you name it. I was stretched so thin and was so exhausted that I am surprised I didn't up and leave DH with DS. DH was so exhausted that he had some near accidents driving to work.

DS was already in his own room - one of the rare babies who slept better alone . This was helpful as I noticed whenever we did co-sleep (on trips) he slept more restlessly because he wanted his (.)(.) for comfort sucking. He no longer needed the nighttime feedings - he'd pop off within 30 seconds or he would just comfort suck - so I felt comfortable with weaning that(those) session(s).

The big ticket was having a more structured nap schedule. If he went for too long before napping, he'd nap less, be more tired, slept bad at night, wake up tired, can't nap... the cycle never ended. So I dedicated my LIFE around DS's naps and he's been sleeping though since 13 months.

When he was on a 2 nap schedule, he would wake around 7:00am, nap 10am for 1-1.5 hours, nap again 1:30-2:00pm for 1-1.5 hours, bedtime at 6:30-7:00pm.

Now he's taking 1 nap: wake up at 6:30am, nap 11:30-12pm for 2-3 hours, bedtime at 7:30-8pm.

He's sleeping SO beautifully even I am surprised (I haven't forgotten the sheer h@ll we went through). When he's not sleeping then I know there's something wrong. My friends all roll their eyes at my "sacrificing my life" to his schedule but I don't mind missing out on lunches and playdates if it means my son has the sleep he needs. He obviously needs it.

So there is hope! Just keep trying different things. A friend of mine ended up doing Ferber on her son at 15 months. Took 10 days but now he's sleeping through too.
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#14 of 36 Old 06-05-2005, 05:06 PM
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"Just keep trying different things. A friend of mine ended up doing Ferber on her son at 15 months. Took 10 days but now he's sleeping through too."

Are you suggesting Ferber JavaBean!?! 10 minutes of Ferber -- let alone 10 days of it -- is a cruel thing to do, whatever the results!

Simon wakes up still at 14 months but it doesn't bother me. If he's going to nurse for a long time, I'll have a book with a nightlight so that I don't get bored. He hasn't been nursing for too long lately, but he has a tiny belly and a brain that needs lots of fat and nourishment to continue developing. I wouldn't push nightweaning if the baby is waking up hungry. I actually wouldn't push it unless I was sleep deprived because of it.

Good luck.
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#15 of 36 Old 06-05-2005, 05:08 PM
 
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A friend of mine ended up doing Ferber on her son at 15 months. Took 10 days but now he's sleeping through too.
Oh, how sad. That makes me sad. I would NEVER suggest that to anyone. 10 days of crying.

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#16 of 36 Old 06-05-2005, 07:44 PM
 
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Oh no, no, I'm not advocating Ferber. I was saying try different things like a more structured nap schedule, perhaps sleeping alone vs cosleeping, nighttime weaning if you know for sure your DC doesn't need it. Those were what I did and it worked for me. I only mentioned Ferber because that was something that worked for a friend.

There were nights where I had to let DS cry. I HAD to. I was so frustrated and tired and angry. DS obviously didn't like crying (neither did we) but it was better for all of us if I let him cry than if I went in there in the state I was in. It got to a point where I understood Shaken Baby Syndrome. And it was scary. I never want to go there again. I remember hearing in my head a line from a documentary I saw on SBS: "Crying, even excessive crying, won't kill a baby. But shaking it in anger, no matter how unintentional or 'gentle' the shaking is, will."

My friend is one of the most earthly, loving, pro-attachment parenting person I know. She's the only person I know IRL who's still nursing (her DS is 21 months). She was racked with guilt for having to resort to Ferber but she felt she was at That Point.

Anyway, I hope I didn't start a debate for even mentioning Ferber. I think she did a very modified form of Ferber - cry for 10 minutes, pat for 5 and she never went longer than 10 minutes for each crying session. She said that Christopther would cry up until she walked back in his room then he'd stop and lay back down. She said he just wanted her to look at him sleep.
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#17 of 36 Old 06-06-2005, 12:21 AM
 
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It seems to me that there are two different kinds of nightwaking being discussed here: waking and going right back to sleep (through nursing or whatever) and waking and having a hard time going back to sleep. Personally, I think if a child that young is waking and going right back to sleep, that's totally normal for the age. LIke I said, my own ds is almost 3 and often wakes up once a night, but it's hardly an interruption. He's in his own bed, but if we hear him call out, we just go get him and bring him in with us. Awhile back there was an informal poll here at mdc about how old people's children were when they slept through the night, and if I remember right, most people reported that it was at about 22 months.
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#18 of 36 Old 06-06-2005, 12:27 AM
 
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My 24 month old has never slept more than 6 hrs at a stretch his entire life...usually it's 2-4 hours.
Sorry.
But some kids do. It just depends on the child, IMO.
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#19 of 36 Old 06-06-2005, 10:01 AM
 
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Everyone wakes up several times a night, adults and kids, and babies. The difference is that adults (most, at least) are able to put themselves back to sleep without fully waking. This is definitely my nightwaker's issue... she wakes several times but she is used to being boobed back to sleep so if it's not right there she cried out until it shows up.

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#20 of 36 Old 06-06-2005, 10:48 AM
 
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We also just absolutely hit the wall at about 12 months - so sleep-deprived that neither of us could function. You've all BTDT, right? And "cry it out" just wasn't an option for us, no matter how tired we were.

I finally bought No Cry Sleep Solution to see if someone had any help for us. I felt mostly encouraged by the book that we were doing a lot of things right (regular nap time, early bed time, consistent bedtime ritual.) One thing we changed was not nursing our daughter to sleep. (We use formula, BTW, but I think this applies either way.) We have a cuddly feeding on the couch, and before she falls asleep, we move into the glider into her room and rock to sleep there. She did not like this at first, but over time, I think this has really made a difference with her being able to go back to sleep in the middle of the night without nursing - she is now often able to resettle herself without help from one of us. We do still get up with her once a night to nurse because she's hungry, but 1x a night is a piece of cake compared to the 3 or 4 times we were doing (and sometimes we were awake for an hour at a time!) Lately, she's started waking at 11:30 pm, having her bottle, and then sleeping through until 6:30 or 7. Heaven. I feel like a human being again.

I also know that this is bound to change! We're still waiting for first year molars.

Best wishes to all sleep-deprived mamas...
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#21 of 36 Old 06-06-2005, 12:42 PM
 
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I can count on one hand the number of times My 24 month old DS has slept through the night
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#22 of 36 Old 06-06-2005, 01:43 PM
 
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Ds is 13 months now, and has slept through the night for a two months now. It was kind of magical how it happened, because prior to that he was waking up 2-4 times a night to nurse. There were likely several factors that contributed to him sleeping though, but what really did it was to start sending dh in to comfort him instead of me; after 2-3 nights of doing that, he was sleeping through.

Now ds actually goes about eleven hours without nursing! There is hope, but I think you have to actively pursue it (in a gentle, non CIO way of course) if you want it to happen.

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#23 of 36 Old 06-06-2005, 03:02 PM
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DD is 2 1/2 and wakes to nurse twice a night, or rather latches on and I sometimes notice if I am staying up late. She gets about 10 hours of sleep every night even with night nursing.
Sleeping through the night is defined as sleeping for a 5 hour stretch though, so by those standards she does indeed sleep through the night.
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#24 of 36 Old 06-07-2005, 12:10 AM
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I'm in a sensitive mood tonight, but something about this thread is bothering me. There is nothing wrong with a baby/toddler who gets up in the night. In part, I'm uncomfortable with the congratulations that is being given for when a baby sleeps though the night, and moms whose baby is doing this telling others that she got lucky, giving out information so that others can do the same, or whatever. Not all moms care one way or the other. Tending to Simon's needs at night has never been a burden to me; I stay up several hours after he does and I love that he wakes up just before I go to bed because by then I'm already missing him. I know it's sometimes more taxing than it has been for us. I think that rushing a baby to sleep before they are ready is far from ideal. I prefer to let this happen at its own rate and I do not feel in any way deprived because of this or that I'm unlucky because Simon still needs me at night.

I'm feeling sensitive... I'm taking what is said here as though it were said to a very large audience of moms, some of whom may still be pregnant or have an easy night-time waker as I do and leave with the impression that it would be better if s/he slept through the night. I just get so tired of hearing about how glorious it is for a baby/young toddler to sleep through the night. I strongly feel that Simon needs me when he wakes up and that he doesn't just do so out of habit, so this is also affecting my view. Perhaps I should have just kept out of this thread, but I felt like making my points. Feel free to ignore me.
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#25 of 36 Old 06-07-2005, 12:38 AM
 
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I think it's really great that you love it that your baby wakes... and I agree that whether or not a baby sleeps is over analyzed and obsessed about in many cultures. But... I also think it is totally normal to wish for more sleep, it's like wishing for more food or shelter. Sleep is a VERY important physical need and some people react differently to deprivation.

Plus, most of us are talking toddlers so for some of us the waking has been going on for a couple of years. That takes its toll, KWIM?

And as far as "rushing" them... this thread is pretty gentle compared to what some parents do. I, for one, am just happy we're not all CIO, ya know? There's nothing wrong with gentle techniques to help a baby learn to sleep. We have to teach them how to do pretty much everything and sleep is no different, it's how we go about it that matters.

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#26 of 36 Old 06-07-2005, 12:51 AM
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I don't feel as though I have to deliberately teach Simon much of anything. He learns what he needs to know on his own. I feel this applies to sleep too. Some of the methods mentioned here aren't so gentle, and I don't know how gentle it feels to expect to breastfeed as one has done since birth and be denied. I expect this is a severe blow and wouldn't advise it unless it was necessary to nightwean because of real sleep deprivation.

It is really hard to compare as this just hasn't been an issue for us. Are those for whom it is an issue co-sleeping? I know that some moms who co-sleep have this problem, but I imagine this wouldn't be very common. Ditto with babies/toddlers who wake up in a co-sleeping arrangement and want to play at 4 a.m.; I see that as happening with young infants, but not so much with older infants and toddlers.
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#27 of 36 Old 06-07-2005, 02:59 AM
 
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I really can't stay long to respond but I wanted to say this before heading off to bed.

ITA agree with Sheena - sleep deprivation reacts differently to different people.

However, EVERYONE needs to have an adequate amount of REM sleep to function.

I was at a point where I couldn't sleep due to the anticipation of the first nightwaking (usually around 11:30pm) then we'd be up until 12:30-1am, sleep for a couple of hours then up again at 2:30-3am, sleep at 4:30-5am and then be up for day at 5:45-6am. This was EVERY NIGHT for almost 5 months. DS was tired and cranky, I was tired and cranky... it was a very unhappy household. We tried co-sleeping again but DS was even more unhappy sharing a bed with us. He'd wake up even more frequently and squirm around in frustration. I can't tell you how many times we jumped from crib to bed back to crib trying desperately to find that happy place for him. Apparently, the only semi-happy place where he was able to sleep lightly was in my arms, on my feet, rocking. Sometimes I was able to sit down in the glider (an old wooden one, no padding so you can imagine how comfortable that was for hours on end) but usually not.

I'd offer to nurse but would get pushed away then get bitten if I kept offering. To me, it was obvious DS was going through something and had a hard time overcoming that sleep hurdle. He needed help to learn how to sleep through. His night wakings were obvioulsy affecting him so in our case, we could not allow him to continue with the wakings. If he was able to be rocked or nursed back to sleep, I would have been happy.

Now that he's on track with sleep, he's a totally different toddler. He's happy and confident and gaining weight (!!). And really, that's all that matters - his well-being.
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#28 of 36 Old 06-07-2005, 03:45 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Dal
I don't feel as though I have to deliberately teach Simon much of anything. He learns what he needs to know on his own. I feel this applies to sleep too. Some of the methods mentioned here aren't so gentle, and I don't know how gentle it feels to expect to breastfeed as one has done since birth and be denied. I expect this is a severe blow and wouldn't advise it unless it was necessary to nightwean because of real sleep deprivation.

It is really hard to compare as this just hasn't been an issue for us. Are those for whom it is an issue co-sleeping? I know that some moms who co-sleep have this problem, but I imagine this wouldn't be very common. Ditto with babies/toddlers who wake up in a co-sleeping arrangement and want to play at 4 a.m.; I see that as happening with young infants, but not so much with older infants and toddlers.
I agree with some of what you are saying in this and your previous post. I can also say that I would not have even thought to attempt to my, at the time, 20 month old dd if I were not pregnant. That's not to say I didn't ever have resentful nights. We do co-sleep and have since birth. For many months, nursing 3-5 times in a night was common, some nights I don't think she even ever unlatched! But once I was pregnant, the tenderness literally made my teeth clench and I had such a hard time getting back to sleep which was never the case prior. That made for a very tired mama: lack of sleep + first trimester tired/nausea + very active toddler = grouchy lady. So after much soul searching (really- I would not even allow myself to think about night weaning until the second trimester if at all!) I decided that I would *try* Dr. Gordon's 10 night plan- with a plan to stop if it didn't *feel* right. But I never did the 10 night plan. I merely told my daughter what was troubling me. She was ready. I know this now. I know because she sleeps at night better and naps better (she wakes but turns over or snuggles up to me or dh or grabs her current bed baby or has a drink of water...and then goes back to sleep without even speaking to me. I know because I still wake up whenever she wakes!) If I wasn't pregnant, I wouldn't have talked to her about night weaning and maybe she would have gotten there on her own. But I feel as though she was ready and was waiting for my direction because it happened so naturally, casually and easily. No tears or frustration- just a transition. And for me- the ability to sleep in whatever position I choose all night is a real blessing. Night nursing while pregnant was taking quite a toll on me a few months ago- I cannot evn imagine what I would feel like in the morning now at the start of my third trimester! Taking care of my dd's every need, whether morning or night, has never been a burden. I cherish the time I have where this amazing person relies and depends on me. But it HAS been glorious to sleep through the night!
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#29 of 36 Old 06-07-2005, 06:54 AM
 
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Something subtle and sweet that made a DRAMATIC differeince in my DD's ability to sleep while we co-slept is that she slept next to Daddy, a little apart from Mom. We night time nursed incessantly when she was tucked up against me and that was not working well for us since I was pregnant when she was 5 months old. I was in pain from the nursing and crabby from not sleeping because every nursing session woke me up which made the pain seem worse, etc. etc.

So I nursed DD to sleep and then DH pulled her over to him and cuddled her all night. I rolled over and went to sleep. DH adored the responsibility of keeping DD secure through the night. I remember hearing him whisper, "Daddy's got you. You are completely safe." and melting right before I passed out. DH also discovered that DD likes getting her butt jiggled to get back to sleep.

I still remember the first time I got 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I woke up feeling like I could fly to the moon just by flapping my arms. :LOL DD was 8 months old at the time.

We also have observed that not having enough GOOD naps (where DD can wake on her own timetable) made for hellish nights.

Provided she gets her two naps, DD sleeps through the night now and usually it's at LEAST 9 hours.

Jen

secular classical-ish mama to an incredible 5 year old DS and an amazing 6 year old DD.
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#30 of 36 Old 06-07-2005, 10:17 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dal
I don't feel as though I have to deliberately teach Simon much of anything. He learns what he needs to know on his own. I feel this applies to sleep too. Some of the methods mentioned here aren't so gentle, and I don't know how gentle it feels to expect to breastfeed as one has done since birth and be denied. I expect this is a severe blow and wouldn't advise it unless it was necessary to nightwean because of real sleep deprivation.
We'll just have to agree to disagree on that one. I do believe we have to teach babies/kids how to do things. Otherwise they would never potty in the toilet, read, ride a bike... Some times babies/toddlers have to night wean and it is fully up to the mama when that happens, there is NO way I will cast judgement on that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dal
It is really hard to compare as this just hasn't been an issue for us. Are those for whom it is an issue co-sleeping? I know that some moms who co-sleep have this problem, but I imagine this wouldn't be very common. Ditto with babies/toddlers who wake up in a co-sleeping arrangement and want to play at 4 a.m.; I see that as happening with young infants, but not so much with older infants and toddlers.
If it hasn't been an issue for you how can you judge? And FTR, we do co-sleep.

Amy: Certified Professional Midwife and mom to Max (11) and Stella (6).
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