Anyone else have a wild child? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 24 Old 11-10-2002, 01:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Every time I see Isabel with other children I'm struck by how different (wilder ) she is. Like when we recently went to a birthday party--she was all over the place exploring, while the other kids were sitting where they were supposed to, doing whatever activity they were supposed to do :LOL. I've never discouraged her from exploring or touching things, but I wonder if these kids had been and that was why they were "complying" more than she was. It's just interesting to see the differences.

She's not interested in socializing with others her age (I know this is typical at 2.5)--she decidedly does her own thing and I'm so happy to see she's indifferent to other kids that aren't nice to her. I really get a sense that she's teaching herself good socialization skills without my kind of imposing them on her. But she's so wild, :LOL! Sometimes other mothers comment on her energy in an underhanded way (can you imagine--someone actually asked me why she was the way she was ) and I just laugh. Wild childs unite!
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#2 of 24 Old 11-10-2002, 01:14 PM
 
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Lee~ Soleil is also a wild child! Everything you described sounded like dd...she's a little 'older' now, but is still wild!
We were at the mall yesterday, and she's running all over, exploring, I was getting frustrated a little, cause I was in a hurry , as if I can be in a *hurry* with Soleil!!!
Anyway, then, I see this boy, about Soleil's age, holding his mama's hand, and *walking* with her, not pulling and everything...I pointed them out to dd, she's like "Well, that's not me mom!"... :LOL

Wild kids unite for sure!!!!!

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#3 of 24 Old 11-10-2002, 03:43 PM
 
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Absolutely! Eli even calls himself wild child. He is so very active and curious and talkative. Occassionally I have to remind myself that I prefer this- sometimes those quiet kids look so appealing!

By the way, if you haven't already, you have to read the picture book by the name Wild Child- it is a favorite around here- we've checked it out of the library 5 or so times.

I think we mommas of wild children should unite- what a great playgroup that would be!

By the way Lee- it always angers me that parents are into the easiest way (for themselves) to raise a child, not neccesarily the most nurturing way (for the kid). I think the underhanded comments about wild children are really about this... but I love that my Eli is so aware and interested and if I want him to be like that later I need to nurture that now.

not much time, hope this makes sense, i will be looking forward to returning to this thread,

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#4 of 24 Old 11-10-2002, 07:14 PM
 
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I am constantly reminded of this when we are around other children. Zen has so much more energy, enthusiasm, and spunk than any of her playmates. I too get a twinge of envy (during the more difficult situations like shopping or leaving a fun activity) of the mothers whose children are more compliant. I thinks it really is a matter of temperment though, because we've known some of her playmates since they were born and they have always been more docile. Not my little wild child.

We were at a luncheon today and while another little girl was quietly sitting in her mother's lap, Zen was all over the place lap hopping. At one point she sat in her auntie's lap and poured ice from one glass to another back and forth until she had enough and went back to lap hopping.

She also likes to do her own thing. At playgroup, if the other kids are playing on the slide, she wants to be on the swings. If everyone is on the swings, she wants to explore the wooded areas. From time to time she will grab the hand of one of the more adventurous children and tell them to walk with her, but few can keep up with her and they usually retreat to their mothers long before Zen has exhausted her curiousity. It can be exhausting as the parent, but that's my little fire sign - blazing a trail everywhere she goes.
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#5 of 24 Old 11-10-2002, 09:25 PM
 
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Count me in. Ds is definitely a wild child. We were in a clothing store the other day, and every time I set him down, which was often as he was wiggling to get down, he sprinted out the door, with me chasing after him. We did this about, oh, 12 times as SIL shopped. Meanwhile, another little boy right about his age was sitting the whole time playing with socks. And not playing by throwing every last pair on the floor. He just had one pair that he was playing with. It was actually a pretty hilarious contrast.

And although parenting style can definitely play a part in this (i.e., kids who learn to give up and give in) I do think it is mainly temperment. My SIL's dd is only 3 months old, and I already see a huge difference between her daughter and ds at that age. You don't even know when she wakes up. You just look over at her stroller and oh look, she's awake. Ds definitely let you know when he was awake!

Which is now by the way . . gotta run.
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#6 of 24 Old 11-10-2002, 09:40 PM
 
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OMG you are describing MY child!! *groan* and he is only 21mo old.....i hoped it would mellow just a little as he got older! i guess not.....*sigh*
what a LOUD playgroup that would be!!! yes, there are many many times when i wish Rio would just settle down, but on the other hand he has such a fetching personality. i babysit this kid who is 3 and i swear his mom feeds him thorazine. i thoroughly understand the contrast (the sock example)!!
i will join this thread and i WISH y'all lived by me so we COULD have a playgroup!
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#7 of 24 Old 11-10-2002, 11:30 PM
 
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I love my wild-child!

She is sassy, loud and full of life.
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#8 of 24 Old 11-10-2002, 11:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm loving your stories!
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#9 of 24 Old 11-10-2002, 11:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, and I can so relate to all of what you're saying. Particularly this: when we were at this birthday party, whenever everyone was outside in the bouncy castle, she wanted to be inside playing with the birthday child's toys. Then when everyone came inside for cake, she wanted to go to the bouncy castle :LOL! She's probably like me-hates crowds.
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#10 of 24 Old 11-11-2002, 12:19 AM
 
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yep... my wild child sure ain't mild!!

he's *always* on the go... always exploring, always testing limits. and he's a major screacher! everything is *so* exciting to him! and i'm totally convinced it's personality... even tho i haven't been one for putting limits on his exploration (not that i think he would heed them!), he has, since birth, needed constant stimulation. and he's always been so observant. he rarely had that zoned out look as a newborn, it was always alert and watchful..

it's superfun to be a mama to someone with so much zest! (but i do admit to being a little jealous when i see those really calm kids who can sit still for more than twenty-three seconds...)
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#11 of 24 Old 11-11-2002, 12:58 AM
 
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I mean, its one thing for a baby to kinda just hang out but a toddler?

Running, jumping, playing, exploring is what they should do...I'd wonder about a child who never does any of those things.
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#12 of 24 Old 11-11-2002, 12:40 PM
 
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We were at this party at dh's work sat. There were two other toddlers and like 5 older children (5 years +). One of the toddlers (14 mo) spent most of his time crying in his stroller or his mom feeding him pureed food. The other's (2 yo) mom sat at a table and spent most of the time issueing comands to the girl (stay where I can see you, don't pick up rocks, its okay, ect).

Of course my two boys (3 and 1 1/2) were following the older kids, climbing in and out of the boat, running, throwing rocks, you know .

I felt like it was very much because of the parents. My oldest was a very easy baby, but still wants to explore and move and not sit quietly. He has too many important things to be doing.

Dh and I even talked about it when we got home. We don't want our kids to always be looking for us for approval, we want them to think for themselves. And, even though it means that for this short time in their lives, I can't sit and talk to adults for 2 hours, and sometimes I really wish we hadn't gone to the store, I too try to remember that these are traits I really want in my kids.
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#13 of 24 Old 11-11-2002, 03:58 PM
 
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i gravitated toward this thread but as i read through the stories i kept thinking that while my dd is just as independent and into doing her own thing and often unwilling to cooperate without major negotiations, she's also very shy around other people and wouldn't be called wild by people who didn't know her very well.
i think the trait she shares with all the wonderful little ones referenced above is intensity, be it quiet or loud. focused and self-directed, very strong willed, idiosyncratic.
i'm in a little support group for moms of spirited children, as the book we are currently working with terms them. it's been very helpful for me. i had read the book (ok, that's a little strong. i never seem to have time to read anything, i skimmed it) and i've pulled it out when behavioral issues overwhelmed me, but the group provides for me what is going on in this thread -- reassuring example after example of other kids behaving perfectly normally for their personality type, but who are considered out there by parents of children who either are tempermentally different or who have, as my husband and i judgementally call it, broken their spirit (i think we label it this way to make ourselves feel better about how hard our kid is to raise
so, does anyone else comfort themselves, as they lie exhausted on the couch at the end of the day, with the thought that they got this sort of child because she'd be horribly mangled in most other families?
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#14 of 24 Old 11-11-2002, 06:07 PM
 
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now THAT is a nice thought! thank you for sharing that. i think i will start going to bed at the end of hard days thinking the same thing as well!
btw.....sometimes my little guy is just as charming in public....and nobody would ever guess just how energetic and spirited and persistant he really is. like, i've brought him to the grocery store when he is really really tired,and sometimes when he is that tired he gets really quiet and not wild. but he gets this really insane little cackle (you'd have to hear it-- sounds kinda like a forced laugh) and says "Hi" to everyone he passes. only *i* can tell he's inches from a total hysteria, while everyone he meets thinks he is just such an angel!!
right now he is playing at the sink and has been doing it happily for 1/2 hour. i bet i could leave him there for 3 more hours and he'd be just as happy. maybe. sheesh, here i am at the puter and he is just fine. maybe i should try it!! LOL
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#15 of 24 Old 11-11-2002, 10:37 PM
 
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My dd is not even 13 months yet, but we've known that she was a little "more" in almost every way since she was born. She just learning to walk by herslef- took her first independent steps last week- and I know that as soon as she learns to walk, she'll be running and we'll never stop. We were in church yesterday, and I was exhausted trying to keep her happy and look down the pew to see an eighteen month old boy sitting quitely on his mom's lap through the whole meeting. I can't say that I wasn't a teeny bit jealous, but most of the time we love her energy.

And isn't it funny how our kids sometimes put their best face forward in public? My little dramatist woke up at five this morning and was exhausted by 6:30- we had a totally cranky morning because she wanted to go back to bed, but she spends an hour and a half with my mom in the mornings while I'm teaching. She was completely charming and happy this morning for my mom. She doesn't believe that Abby is ever cranky! : I just found out a few weeks ago that I'm expecting again, we're hoping that #2 will be a little bit more mellow!

Violin teaching, doula-ing Mom to Abby, (8) Ashlynn, (6) : and Max (11/13/08) Diagnosed with Metopic Craniosynostosis. First surgery 5/1/09, Second surgery March 2010.
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#16 of 24 Old 11-12-2002, 03:37 AM
 
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my dd is MOODY. one day wild, the next a calm, fit-in type. at her 3-day old checkup, the doctor commented on how *alert* she is. this has been the most frequent comment about her since then. sometimes this alertness manifests itself as calm watchfulness. other times it is this screaming moshpit show.
my friends call her a 'wild card' and 'intense' and 'headbanger'. she is very tuned in to peers, however. if a kid is crying, she won't play normally untill he stops. she seems bewildered when other kids cant keep up. "come on!" she tells them, "come on!"
now, i know this is more difficult to parent than a more mellow kid, but i must admit to having secretly hoped i would end up w/ one of the *spirited* variety. it suits me. i am pretty far 'off the charts' myself. i have to be careful not to feed into her issues too much, however. an astrologer said dd and i have a psychic connection. this can be good....or very, very bad.
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#17 of 24 Old 11-12-2002, 09:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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sueami-that makes it all worthwhile, thanks for saying that. And I'm with you sunbaby--this is what I always wanted.
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#18 of 24 Old 11-12-2002, 01:16 PM
 
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Sounds a lot like our 20 mo daughter. Except with her it began to get exhausting. She NEVER sat still, was always on the go, and many times demanded only my attention so that I never had a break. We started to think that there was something else going on. She seemed to be not only active, but hyper with an irritation behind it. We came upon the book "Is this your child?" by Doris Rapp, and discovered that she had a number of food allergies/sensitivities. We had never considered it before because she had been almost exclusively BF for the first year and was still BFing with solids at 1 1/2yr.

After taking wheat, corn, eggs and dairy out of her diet she is MUCH calmer. Don't get me wrong, she is still active and on the go, but she can also have independant, mellow, quiet-play times, which was not the case before. She also sleeps better and goes to the bathroom easier.

Spritited, high-needs kids are great. I know that my dd taught me a lot about attentive parenting and patience. You just might want to make sure that there's nothing more serious behind it. Good luck!
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#19 of 24 Old 11-12-2002, 04:17 PM
 
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roni,
does she still react to things YOU eat that she gets thru your b-milk?
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#20 of 24 Old 11-12-2002, 09:46 PM
 
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pamela,

I'm pretty sure that my daughter is sensitive to foods through my breastmilk - when I ate dairy, she got a rash; or when I ate peppers, she would have gas. I haven't tested all of the foods she is sensitive to, I just decided to err on the side of caution and stay away from almost everything myself (I do allow myself to have a little mayo now and then or a slice of bread)

It's very difficult, but a few things have helped me through this. 1) a good allergy cookbook like "the allergy self-help cookbook" 2) the knowledge that my daughter can still pick off my plate and we can share interesting, healthy foods
3) All this food elimination has finally helped the extra baby weight come off. I guess it's a fringe benefit (you gotta look on the bright side)

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#21 of 24 Old 11-12-2002, 11:49 PM
 
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i hear ya! thanks. i have got all the baby weight off...now i'm working on the "real" weight! ugh. 30ish pounds to go. i was just asking you because my son is a horrible sleeper and exceedingly hyper (ok, to be PC, "spirited") but i haven't tried elimination diet. i am so not good at that! i can't give up sugar (yet)! and i have just begun to be able to eat so many things i had to give up for so long b/c he was intolerant of thru my breastmilk (that gave him gas). he doesn't suffer much from gas anymore but sheesh i wish he would calm down some, sometimes!

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#22 of 24 Old 11-13-2002, 09:48 PM
 
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OK, you've tapped into my big fear. DH has several food allergies/sensitivities and was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult (long childhood history of hyperactivity). We found out in our married lives that it was food triggering the behavior and not a disorder. I hope dd doesn't have the same issues. I can eat almost anything. It would be nice if she could too. Oh, well. If she is sensitive, I know how to find out. Back to beans for us for a while. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
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#23 of 24 Old 11-13-2002, 11:16 PM
 
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hey nothing wrong with beans!! im glad i finally get to eat them again, along with chocolate and most salad veggies and cauliflower!! yum!
i guess this is gonna sound awful, but i'd pretty well rather find a way to work with my son's temperament, behavior, and wildness rather than give up chocolate. what a bleak world it would be without that sinfully rich yum-yum!!
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#24 of 24 Old 12-01-2002, 02:51 PM
 
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My son Teagan also goes by Tarzan and occasionaly Tina. Someone once asked me to be a little stricter with him and that if I didn'y He might turn out to be a wild child. I responded POerfect exactly as I had planned. He is nearing three now and I am now setting firmer limits in regards to respecting others. I find if I strongly beleive in something its much easyer to stay consistent. It's neat the melding of our temperments and reactions and their nature and how everything supports each. Teagn is definately rebellious by nature and I am definately low on limits by nature. we also learn so fully by trying to change the the things that are not supporting.
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