I really, really liked that sentiment. We're all individuals, with our own temperaments and personalities, needs and wants, and I've seen sometimes it's difficult/worrisome for APing parents to get their minds around the fact that their child might not *want* to be held or nearby 24/7. Babies and toddlers are still individuals, even though they're tiny, and can express their personalities just as well as any adult - it's our job as parents to respond to and respect them, even if they're different from us (I think ESPECIALLY if they're different from us).
"Attachment parenting is about responding to your child's needs, not entertaining and interacting with them for every second of the day."
My 17-mo DS has always been a pretty independent little guy, from day one. I have always just been there for him when he wants/needs me, and then just let him "be" when he wants to. He has never had separation anxiety either, and loves when other people come over to visit, too.
I used to feel bad about it, especially when he was younger and still nursing...my DH and I went to a wedding out of town, and my parents came with us to watch him at a hotel while we were at the wedding. I went to the hotel between the wedding and reception to nurse him, then we went back to the reception for a few hours.....it was the first time I had ever been away from him and he was about 8 months old. Basically, from what my parents described and from what I witnessed coming back into the hotel room the two times we did, he didn't even seem to notice I was gone, which kind of hurt.....but then I realized that it's just the way he's wired.
He's a happy, fun-loving, comical, inquisitive, bright, independent little guy. I know he loves me - I get "run by" hugs and kisses throughout the day, we snuggle at nap and night time, we snuggle and read together; if he's sleepy or hurt he comes to me...he "checks in" with me throughout the day, then goes along his merry way, though we do play together a lot, too...he just doesn't need me "right there" all the time with him. To this day, if others are visiting, I might as well just go in another room and have some "me" time... :LOL
I guess what I'm trying to say is that as long as you're responding to her cues, you're doing your "job" as an AP parent...she's not rejecting you, she's just maybe a little more independent than what is "normally" expected from a young one...
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Rachelle, mommy to 8 year old boys!
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|'ve seen sometimes it's difficult/worrisome for APing parents to get their minds around the fact that their child might not *want* to be held or nearby 24/7. Babies and toddlers are still individuals, even though they're tiny, and can express their personalities just as well as any adult - it's our job as parents to respond to and respect them, even if they're different from us (I think ESPECIALLY if they're different from us).|
grateful mother to DD, 1/04, and DS, 2/08
now he's learning to walk, and seems to feel like he needs me more at certain times- wants to make sure he's not getting too independent.
in the morning, every SINGLE morning, when it's time to wake up- as opposed to just nurse and go back to sleep, ds rolls over and says, "DADDY!!" i think it's great because dh gets to feel loved before going away to work out of the home all day. temperment is so different from one kid to another. i'm learning that too with mine.
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