Do you have a favorite way to temper a tantrum? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-25-2002, 04:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
Velveteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 1,493
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Do you have a 'favorite' way to temper a tantrum? I just finished reading the archives on this, since I know this is typical two stuff! But, my ds is the youngest of four, and just recently started throwing fits. None of my others did this, so was I just lucky?
He starts to lose it for the usual reasons, doesn't get his way, doesn't get a toy he wants to play with Right Now! Or, wants to continue an activity that has to end.
I could use some suggestions if you have something that really works for you. Is there such a thing? Distraction works to a degree.
Had a trialsome day, so maybe I am just looking for some moms in the same boat!
Velveteen is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-25-2002, 08:52 AM
 
khrisday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: High Desert of California
Posts: 3,913
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, you have been very lucky if you have three kids who didn't throw fits! LOL I think the best way to deal with tantrums is to prevent them. If transitions are difficult for him, establish a routine for transitioning (saying goodbye to the friends, toys, etc), give fair warnings and count down (mine get a five minute warning and a reminder each minute), etc. Talk him through his emotions when he does fall apart, empathize, and give help him to think of an alternative.
khrisday is offline  
Old 11-25-2002, 04:21 PM
Liz
 
Liz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
There's an article in the latest issue of Mothering that talks about tantrums. It talks particularly about the kind where the child just will not be placated. You know, they want something, you give it to them, now they don't want ithey want something else. They seem to be looking for something to fall apart over. She says that the child is looking to release some stress and needs to tantrum. If you let them, support them in the tantrum and just let it blow itself out they will feel much better.

When I pick my son up from the babysitters he has often almost tantrumed all the way home. I dance around trying to make everything better which seems to frustrate him more. He will finally lose it over something so incredibly minor (There's leaf on the stroller!!!!!!!!!!). So I stop everything and just pull him into my lap and let him cry. (He isn't a violent tantrum-er just weepie.) I think he needs to release some stress and he waits for me because he trusts me to handle it. Anyway, it hasn't happened since I read the article but next time I'm going to stop dancing around and let it happen much sooner. And talk to him about what he is feeling. She talks about how all the dancing around trying to make them happy can make them think they should keep their negative feelings in check. There are already far too many pent up feelings in this world, right?

Anyway, read the article. She says it much better! It was just so amazing that it came along just when I needed it! Yeah, Mothering Magazine!
Liz is offline  
Old 12-01-2002, 03:27 AM
 
mirlow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Orlando
Posts: 297
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I ask my kids if they need me to hold them. Usually after a couple of minutes of screaming they tell me they are ready to be held
mirlow is offline  
Old 12-01-2002, 04:29 AM
Banned
 
DiaperDiva's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Planning a move!
Posts: 2,083
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Kailey has started having minor tantrums. When it starts I stop and think about what could be bothering her. I remember that tantrums are started because of a toddler's inability to communicate needs, wants, desires. Or their inability to master something, ie, dressing themselves, putting on shoes, etc.

We usually let her scream as much as she needs to(if we can't resolve the situation before hand) and then give lots of hugs and understanding words. Sometimes I nurse her, but most often we figure out what she needs and that makes her feel better.

A lot of her tantrums are over things we would find minor, but to her are hugely important, like not being able to pull her pants all the way up. This frustrates her to no end.
DiaperDiva is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off