Is your toddler affectionate? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 16 Old 07-25-2005, 09:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Parker is a VERY happy 18 month old, very active and extremely bright. She's a busy busy girl. She has never been one for hugs and kisses. Is it the age? Her personality? About once a week she'll come up to me and give me a big hug and it makes me feel SO good! Other than that though, I sneak cuddles in the family bed.

How do your toddlers compare?
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#2 of 16 Old 07-25-2005, 09:34 PM
 
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My DS (3) is and has always been very affectionate. He is a total mama’s boy I get tons of hugs, kisses, and “I wuv you mama” on a daily basis. I wish I could keep him this way forever!

Liz om.gif Lovin' DH partners.gif DS (12) coolshine.gif and forever missing DD angel3.gif (12/02/07) ribbonpb.gif
From the withered tree, a flower blooms~ He's here!!! So crazy in love with my  rainbow1284.gif  boy!!! 12/14/11 luxlove.gif fly-by-nursing1.gif

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#3 of 16 Old 07-25-2005, 09:53 PM
 
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I have to get my cuddle fix in when ds is sleeping also! He is busy busy busy. And started telling me not to long ago "don't kiss me mom." and even wiping my kisses off.

We are a very affectionate family so it is hard for dh and I to keep our hands off him, but we also respect his body and ask for hugs and kisses when he is busy and we want one. If he says no, thats it, we don't make a big deal of it.
I get really uptight when family members don't take his no to me NO and beg him for affection, try to bribe him or just plain pick him up and force it!

I think it's just his personality and we love him the way he is! Every so often when I ask for a kiss he gives me a big wet one, or sometimes just runs right into my arms with a big hug. I charish that.

-Sara, working Mom to Fletcher (2003) and Magnolia (2008):, wife to Jim the best SAHD in the world (1999) NVC has changed my life
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#4 of 16 Old 07-26-2005, 12:17 AM
 
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I think its personality more than anything, - I remember you from our Toddler thread which maybe we should resurrect! DD is the same age (1.19.04) and very affectionate she hugs and kisses everyone even her books, other kids, dogs, cats, toys, and am sure she has not been treated any differently from your DD, she is also very active, verbal and bright and was I just reading her astrological chart and it fits her to a T. www.astronumerics.com by Liz Greene. Very interesting, but I do think a lot is personality - and of course parenting/nurturing but most people here are more or less AP so interesting to see how they differ within that context. The downside is she is very emotional and empathic in EVERY way so we have to be careful with her emotions, as she picks up on everything. She was/is definitely a high-needs baby.

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#5 of 16 Old 07-26-2005, 12:35 AM
 
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I think a lot of it has to do with the personality of the child. My daughter is very cuddly and affectionate with me. Hot and cold with DH. If she's uncomfortable or tired, she wants to be with me. No, make that on me. She loves to be on my lap if I am sitting down.

The coolest thing was about 3 weeks ago when she came up to me and hugged my knees and said "I love you, Mommy!" :

She also is very snuggly in bed. Lately, when she's tired, and ready to go to sleep, she likes to have my arm around her. We've always done this, but now, if I don't have it just in the right place or if I try to move it away too soon, she'll grab my fingers and put my hand on her chest or her belly. It's so sweet.

DD also likes to hug the dogs. She's not into giving or receiving kisses much though and she's not too sure about affection from other kids her age (2).

She also can be affectionate when she nurses - sometimes she strokes my arms. (Most of the time she picks at her scabs though - eeew!)

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#6 of 16 Old 07-26-2005, 12:53 AM
 
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It depends on her mood. When she first wakes up she is cuddley and affectionate, but later when she is busy, she has no time for that. She wakes Dh and I up in the morning with a kiss, but that is about the only time she kisses. If I kiss her, she will make the smacking noise at least. I do catch her kissing the dog or dolls and other things sometimes. She will try to kiss other kids sometimes too. One thing she doesn't like is holding hands. She refuses to hold hands, like when we are walking outside or something. But I think that is just an independence thing. I can't wait to hear "I love you."
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#7 of 16 Old 07-26-2005, 02:09 AM
 
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Dominic is very affectionate, even at almost 27 months, he loves to be held, rocked, just sit on our laps, hugged, etc. I think it has more to do with personality than with anything else.
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#8 of 16 Old 07-26-2005, 08:40 AM
 
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My almost 18 mo is not really affectionate consistently, but has his lovey days where he gives kisses and hugs more than usual. Mostly though we will get the occasional run by hug or kiss once or twice a day. He does like to burrow his hands and feet underneath DH and I while we sleep though, so I think that's his way of connecting (literally!) with us.

I also agree it's totally temperment, because he was and still is showered with affection daily. He doesn't reject any hugs or kisses from DH or me, or anyone else, but he doesn't go out of his way a lot to hand them out, either...

Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
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#9 of 16 Old 07-26-2005, 10:15 AM
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It is definitely a personality thing. Ds1 is 3 now and has never been a cuddler. It also translates to a lack of interest in stuffed animals. He'll need a cuddle if he gets hurt or is having a hard time but he uses it more like a tool, ykwim? I agree with a pp, we ask and if he says no, we respect that. It is his body and his choice. It is really hard, though, when you love them so much.

Ds2 is a super duper cuddler. It's been nice to have a baby that melts into you, that hugs toys and animals. He's 13 mo now and still needs and wants lots of cuddles. It's when ds2 came along that it became most obvious that it was simply personality and nothing else. Maybe your next one will be cuddly!
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#10 of 16 Old 07-26-2005, 10:24 AM
 
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I agree----I think it's personality mostly. We are a very huggy & kissy family & DD has taken on that same characteristic. She's always asking for *family hugs* She just loves to be cuddled & kissed & I couldn't be happier about it. Who knows what we'll get with #2.

One thing I'm careful of is to let DD tell me when she's ready for hugs or kisses or I'll ask to have them if I'm feeling particularly needy . I would never force her to show affection to myself or anyone else. I remeber having to do this as a child & I hated it so much . To this day my mother is shocked at the things I can remember from the age of 3 on.

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#11 of 16 Old 07-26-2005, 01:41 PM
 
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My son is very affectionate...to the point that he always has to be touching me.
It is cute, I just wish I could sit down without my lap being invaded
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#12 of 16 Old 07-26-2005, 02:58 PM
 
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I disagree with the majority here. I don't think it's personality. DD has gone in & out of affectionate stages. She's in one right now.

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#13 of 16 Old 07-26-2005, 03:02 PM
 
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dd is not conventionally affectionate....not a fan of kissing (her expression says it all ) and likey to squirm out of hugs. But she expresses herself in other ways.....and is at least exceedingly fond of the boobies! I have to sneak cuddles and kisses when she's sleepy...stolen kisses are the best
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#14 of 16 Old 07-26-2005, 03:26 PM
 
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ds is moderately affectionate - if that's possible. if we ask for a kiss or a cuddle he's
happy to oblige, but he doesn't often initiate it. though he loves it when the dog kisses him!
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#15 of 16 Old 07-26-2005, 03:33 PM
 
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Yes my ds is very affectionate. He usually always gives hugs & kisses when you ask for them. He also will frequently initiate the kiss or hug. He likes to hug & kiss his stuffed animals too.
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#16 of 16 Old 07-26-2005, 03:42 PM
 
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my ds is 28 months. He started life as a very very high needs newborn/infant and is now a VERY active, high energy, extremley dramatic toddler. BUT he is a love. I take those quick hugs and snugs and kisses and "I love you very much mommy"'s a zillion times a day and LOVE them!
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