DS gets so much attention in public, will this be a future problem? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 12-02-2002, 02:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My 18 mo DS and I both have bright red hair and he has bright crystal blue eyes. When we go out together in public, heads turn and he get SO much attention. My mom said that I got lots of attention too, as a redhead, but we get more, since we are a "matched set." I know that all babies get attention, but the difference in attention he gets in a room full of babies is really noticeable (it even makes me feel guilty sometimes).

I am hoping that this won't end up causing some sort of behavor problem in the future, and wondering how to positively direct the attention? I know that as a child I hated being asked "Where did you get your pretty red hair?" about a million times a day since my parents were brunettes, and consequently I hated my red hair for the most part because of this.

Also, I expect that I may NOT have a second redheaded child (the odds of having one were pretty slim considering DHs family tree) so I worry about a future brother or sister having a complex about not looking "just like Mom" like brother does.

Lisa
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#2 of 12 Old 12-02-2002, 02:10 AM
 
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I wouldn't worry about it...I have red hair, as does dd, and she's always been a focus, she also has extremely curly hair and beautiful blue eyes....
But as she gets older, she's 3.5 now, she's just also got a magnet about her, her personality and she's growing into this role of hers...people look at her for a joke, and when she doesn't feel like being the center of attention, then she tells them straight out, or asks me to tell them...
As for future siblings, we all look different, and I'm sure they'll get their fair share of attention...really, don't worry about it!!

Another red hed,

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#3 of 12 Old 12-02-2002, 05:24 AM
 
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Mom of a redhead here, I know what ya mean. Mine is 6 now and doesn't get nearly as much attention anymore (although I can always find him ina crowd ) We used to get those comments about being a matched set, even though mine isn't natural. Just smile and nod- it really won't be an issue for your kid.
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#4 of 12 Old 12-02-2002, 01:56 PM
 
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I worry about the attention thing every now and again, too. My son just has plain old sandy brown hair, but he is an attention magnet. He is a true extrovert, and thrives in the spotlight.

Most of the time this just amuses me. I don't try to discourage his nature. But sometimes his need for attention is so extreme that it embarrasses me!

In restaurants, he will work the room until he has made contact with absolutely everyone. Most people respond with smiles and talk to him, but I know that he has annoyed some. (Mostly men whose female companions engage in interaction.)
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#5 of 12 Old 12-02-2002, 02:36 PM
 
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I am a redheaded mama to a toe-head blonde, blonde-haired girl. She has Shirley Temple-style curles that are just incredible. Really, her hair is amazing. We get stopped every time we go anywhere and while I think my dd is the prettiest thing in the world, that isn't something I want her to put a lot of stock into, you know? I sometimes worry about the attention on her physical characteristics (I especially love the "Is her hair natural?" and "Is that a perm?" Like I perm my two-year-old's hair).

I guess I don't have any answers for you. I hope that as well-rounded kids, ours will grow up with self-confidence.

BTW, redheads rock.
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#6 of 12 Old 12-02-2002, 03:26 PM
 
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I used to really agonize about this, because DD was such a beautiful baby that people would literally cross the street to tell me so...

To tell the truth, I think it has increased her wariness of strangers. But i did worry that as she gets older and more kidlke as opposed to doll-like, she will try harder to get that attention. I was right; sometimes she does. It mostly expresses itself as competition with babies...

I think that in a way, all this stuff made me work harder at NOT gushing over her good looks, and concentrating on her other qualities. So now that she's in school, (and is still the prettiest thing, says this mama!) she's more likely to brag on her smarts or her cleverness. Or how fast she can run...

The only advice I would give is to within yourself, enjoy your child's gift of beauty or sparkly personality. It is a gift! Just don't let strangers define your child to you. Does that make sense?
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#7 of 12 Old 12-02-2002, 11:00 PM
 
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My baby boy who's 16mths on the 10th Dec gets attention aswell everywhere we go, people talk to him on the bus, at the supermarket, at a group i go to he is known as the curly haired one.

He has ash blonde hair and the tightest curls possible, and deep brown eyes he even has a curl in the middle of his forehead!

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#8 of 12 Old 12-03-2002, 11:23 AM
 
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KSMeadowlark~ I just wanted to help you out a little here!

I grew up with a red headed brother,,and yes he got soooooo sick of all the stupid questions "Where did you get that hair?"

After years of using the expected witty responses ("From the milkman", "I ate too many carrotts"..so on) he came up with my favorite


"I went out in the rain and my hair rusted"..being the hoot he is, he would say it totally serious and walk away..

Hang in there,,,children adapt way more easily than we can imagine!
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#9 of 12 Old 12-03-2002, 11:56 AM
 
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I know what you mean! Dd has beautiful red hair and huge blue eyes. We live in Northern Ireland and hardly get any comments here but when I take her to visit my family in NY I can hardly get down the street without being stopped. I think if it's not the hair, it would be something else - every kid has some trait that makes them stand out from a crowd and they'll find their own way of dealing with it when the time comes.
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#10 of 12 Old 12-03-2002, 03:43 PM
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My youngest brother had bright red (orange) hair and blue eyes and got lots of attention when he was young. When I was a family daycare provider, I had a baby girl for four years with the same coloring (she is now 11). She always got lots of attention when I brought her anywhere. The attention seems to be a positive thing as both of them (my brother is now 37) are very outgoing and nice people. My brother is also one of the funniest people I know. I say enjoy it, I only remember that people made positive comments. My two year old daughter gets a lot of comments about her skin color, she has dh's skin and eye color (he is Native American) while my boys have my coloring. Believe me, when you hear for the thousanth time about your daughter's "tan" it can be annoying (and racist if you ask me because it assumes everyone starts out "white", but that is another thread).
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#11 of 12 Old 12-03-2002, 03:45 PM
 
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i see nothing wrong with being the "star of the party".

I think it is fantastic. A real blessing.
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#12 of 12 Old 12-03-2002, 04:05 PM
 
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I especially love the "Is her hair natural?" and "Is that a perm?" Like I perm my two-year-old's hair).
:LOL :

I've heard that one too many times too!!!!
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