I think we caused a problem for our 2.75 year old - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 12-04-2002, 08:32 PM - Thread Starter
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I need help and ideas. My son has always been in our bed or room. IN our apt. That was always the case. Having moved to a house with more bedrooms, we started out with one bedroom and a room of boxes. After a month we have just now been able to designate two bedrooms. So we bought a new king bed, left a twin bed in the smaller bedroom that we had all occupied (with a twin and queen). Then we put Mackenzie's books toys and clothes in with the bed. Now he is not stupid and it was obvious that this was his room. It was not out intention to segregate him or not allow him in the master bedroom though. We bought a big bed so that our whole family could sleep together. First night he went to sleep in "his" room and then called in the middle of the night, so dh got him prompltly and snuggled him in the master bedroom. Then next night he slept all night in his room. Last night was hell. No matter where we lay down with him once the lights were off he would say I'm upset and start really crying with some fear. I think he is very upset at the whole two bedrooms thing, he has never experienced this and although we had no intentions of forcing anything, I think he feels pressure. He cried on the couch, in the big bed and in his room. Finally he powered out at 1 am in the big bed. He woke in the morning at 6:30 and was crying upset again, went to sleep in his dada's arms in the livingroom chair, was put back in bed with me until 11 when he woke up happy. He just seems so scared and upset, not our intention at all!! So now I don't know how to reverse this damage. I love having extra toy space. I don't want him to feel pressured. We have a new baby coming and this is likely adding to his stress and fears. Poor guy. What do you guys think we should do?? Thanks for listening to me babble - this place is soooo wonderful!

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#2 of 2 Old 12-04-2002, 09:33 PM
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Don't feel bad! It might not be anything you've done at all. Maybe he's just having a rough time adjusting to the move/new house in general. I think that's only natural.
Maybe try putting him to bed to start the night in the big bed, so he's not in bed in "his" room at all. To reinforce that the twin bed isn't for him to sleep in if he doesn't want to, you could get one of those bed tent things, and make it a playspace.
We had a similar thing, where one night we tried putting ds to bed on the bed in his room, to see how he'd sleep there. The first night he went to sleep in that room with no trouble, with me laying beside him. But then he woke up screaming in the night, and of course came into the big bed. The next day I was wondering if he'd be terrified of the little bed, but he wasn't. Wouldn't go to sleep in there again though! I was relieved actually because I wasn't at all ready for him to move out. I was just worried I'd been waking him by my tossing and turning. But a week or so later he started sleeping through and hasn't looked back
No particular point to that story! Except that this will pass. Your son will forget about his rough time soon and will happily sleep in your big bed again. I think he's probably just adjusting to a lot of changes and it might take a little while.
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