seperation anxiety - part time work, 2 year old - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 12-12-2002, 07:25 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm wondering if any of you have thoughts, ideas, suggestions regarding a new situation for me: my son, who just turned 2, is NOT happy that I am leaving him. I work part time, and had been at the office 3 days a week, for 3 hours. The rest of my hours I do when he naps.

He seems to really love our sitter/nanny, who comes to the house along with her daughter, who is just a couple months older.

I recently had a sabbatical, so wasn't working. But I had a project I had to do as part of the sabbatical, so the sitter still came, although not as much.

Now, I have gone back to the office. He is with the sitter the same amount, but my husband now stays with him til the sitter comes, and I go in earlier. ANd one morning he is with his dad.

The first week back, he was ok. But now he cries and gets very upset. Some mornings, he stops once we're gone, and is happy the rest of the time. But we've had a couple times when he's been really upset and hard to console.

I would love to be home with him, and maybe he senses that. But we need the extra income. And, I have no doubts about the quality of love and attention that he gets from his second mom.

Have others experienced this? Any suggestions for things I can do to ease his anxiety, besides quitting my job?
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#2 of 4 Old 12-12-2002, 09:35 PM
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I work part time (three days a week) and also have to leave my little one (14 months) at a local daycare. Not want I want to do, but have to at this point. I do understand the anxiety they go through when I have to leave. I have been doing this for a year now and it still makes me sad every day I see him cry and hold on to my legs. I think it is one of the hardest things a parent has to do. His caregivers have told me that 5 minutes after I leave he is fine. It makes me feel better to know this, but it does not make it any easier the next day when I have to do it all over again. I guess the only advice I have is that you are not alone. I don't think there is a magic answer to this one. I hold on to the fact that I am with him more than not and he is getting a lot of love from his caregivers. For mine it has gone through phases. Sometimes he doesn't even blink when I leave and other times it is like it is happening for the first time again. I cry a lot when I have to leave too. Just know that you are doing the best you can.

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#3 of 4 Old 12-13-2002, 09:30 AM
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Moving this ti the toddler forum
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#4 of 4 Old 12-13-2002, 03:32 PM
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My DS (at 28 months) still gets upset most times when I leave him, though not so much if DH is there with him. Two things we've found that really help: (1) DH takes him to daycare (so that when we part in the AM it's more he's leaving me than vice versa, with the excitement of leaving for an adventure with Daddy, etc., even though he's been doing it every day now for months!). Those days when I have to drop him off it's much harder.

(2) On those days I do need to drop him off, or leave him at home with DH or grandma or whoever, it seems to really help to have him be able to watch me as I'm getting into the car, waving happily and driving away, etc. They just hold him as he looks out the window, and for some reason it makes a huge difference with his being OK with the separation. At least so far!

Good luck to you, I know how it hurts the heart to say those tearful, pant-tugging goodbyes!

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