DD was born in October, when ds was 23 months. Up until she was born, parenting ds was a joy (despite the stresses from life). He was almost weaned (on his own, he'd only nurse at nite to go to bed and 1-2 times during the night). Then all of a sudden, once dd was born, ds wanted to nurse constantly, sometimes even more than dd. At that point, w/ him wanting to nurse so much, it became so frustrating. I didn't mind nursing lil dd, but when it came time for ds to nurse, it drove me crazy most of time time (it was uncomfy for me). On top of that, dd is somewhat high needs. She nurse and falls to sleep great, but the moment I lay her down she wakes up and cries. So she spends most of the day in my arms or in the sling. I know ds is striving for my attention, and I feel bad that I can't have one on one time with him while my husband is at work, but man is he getting on my nerves lately...the constant whining (he doesn't talk too much so he communicates his needs through grunts) is hard to handle at times. On top of that, my reactions to his cries are delayed, wheareas for dd,the moment she peeps, I'm at her side. I don't know why or how I laxed in my parenting of ds, but it's saddening...he's only 25 months and pretty needy, that's something I have to remind myself daily. When we have a good day, it's great, but the days where things go downhill, I'm in tears. It is so hard to balance my time , I am so worn out by the end of the day.
I don't know if this is a vent or a call for advice. It'd would be nice to know that others have experienced what I'm going thru, and that I'm not a horrible mom because my toddler drives me crazy w/ his neediness.