Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Portland, Oregon
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Thanks for your suggestions.
Unfortunately, I've tried them already to little and only sporadic success.
I give him great and pretty frequent warning before most changes take place, including diaper/clothing changes. That helps some but not entirely. It helps a lot with changes of location (we're going to the store, etc.).
For a while, the idea of putting his diaper into the pail was one that he liked. Now, he has started getting upset when I pick it up to put it in the pail (he refuses), goes over to the pail, opens it, and cries.
As far as attachment to a particular item, that doesn't seem to be the case because his attachment is to whatever he happens to have on at the moment. When I change my clothes, for instance, it's not that he necessarily remembers what I was wearing and wants me to wear that: If I change out of his sight, he isn't even bothered by it. It's when he sees me changing my clothes. Although, sometimes he sees my pj's on the floor and wants me to put the top on. Once, my husband said that our son asked HIM to put on MY pajama top! But my husband's refusal didn't cause a problem, I guess.
I've also tried the peekaboo route. One thing that does seem to bother him is when his shirt gets stuck going on -- then it's dark and scary. I'd thought it hurt him (which I responded to by trying to put only zip/button things on him), until he learned the word, "dark" and explained that that was the problem. Anyway, now we make sure that we stretch out the neck hole so that it's not dark for long and he's fine with that. The, "where's your toe/hand" route occasionally works but not when he's in a position where he's exceptionally upset.
Actually, now that I say that, these days, the exceptional upset tends to come AFTER I remove the diaper. He's not upset until after it happens, sometimes many minutes later when he kind of registers that it's gone. It's not that he wants another diaper, just that old familiar one. I kind of wondered whether it might have to do with wiping him (since that is what comes after the diaper comes off) -- does the cold water bother him (we tried warm to no avail)? I'm thinking that the post-change problem may have started shortly after I took someone's advice and put tea tree and lavender oil into my wipe water bottle -- maybe that's stinging him? So I'm quitting that addition, but it'll take some time to see whether that eliminates the problem.