I'm so tired of my toddler - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 09-21-2005, 09:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't do anything - hold a conversation, look at something, do something, even have a complete thought - without being interrupted. He gets into everything...over and over again...regardless of what I say or do. I hate to admit it, but my voice hurts from yelling at him. I tell him not to touch things and he just goes right back over and does it...or goes over to something else that I've told him a thousand times not to touch. I'm tired of putting things up where he cannot reach them - I had to get rid of my pantry in the kitchen because there were only items on the top shelf and he was slamming the door. Same for the one cabinet we had in the bathroom. If I try to work on something at the desk, he grabs things off the desk or messes with the computer. He whines all the time. I would go crazy if I couldn't do things while he is around because all I was doing was watching him. Playing outside is something we do, but I cannot do it all day since it is hot and I run out of things to do myself. I'm really about to lose it here. I look back at my day and I can't think of a single thing I've started and actually completed. The things I did try to do were interrupted so many times I'm sure I did them wrong. It's not like he doesn't have toys to play with. Sometimes I think he is hungry and that is why he is irritable, but when I try to feed him, he won't eat. I've even thought of putting him in preschool just because they would have different things for him to do and I could get more than an hour to myself for once. When I do get time to myself, I want to relax, not work like a maniac trying to do the things I can't get done otherwise. I am just so tired of my toddler.

Tana, wife to Steve (5/02), mom to Ben (7/03), Joey (10/06) and Caroline (9/09)
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#2 of 13 Old 09-21-2005, 09:59 PM
 
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Yes. This is why I'm getting a job!!! :LOL Really! It's time someone else get "tired" of MY toddler for a while! Managing a pack of docs and clients seems easy to me now. bring it on and see ya this evening TODDLER.
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#3 of 13 Old 09-21-2005, 10:07 PM
 
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Preschool! Yes!

What's wrong w/that option? New experiences for kid + break for Mom = Much happier family unit.
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#4 of 13 Old 09-21-2005, 10:19 PM
 
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Is he an only child?
Mine is, and during the day, it's just the 2 of us. He is 3 now, but last winter was just like you described above! And when the weather was bad we were trapped inside, it was awful. I love being home with him but I started him in preschool this fall for a few hours 2 days a week. I can tell you, it's great for him, and for me too! He loves being with the kids, and is actually napping again because he's up early and tired from all the activity when he gets home.

On the days he doesn't have preschool, I try to make sure we have some activity to do, library, playground, playdate etc. Even the mall, he can run, I can walk and get some exercise. Sometimes when he is "up my butt" as I call it, it changes the whole dynamic between us when we are out of the house. He is occupied, I am relieved. I'm still not getting anything useful at home done, but at least we're both happy. He's coming out of the phase now, but I got used to doing most of my productive things after he went to bed.
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#5 of 13 Old 09-21-2005, 10:25 PM
 
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I'm going to take a different approach here. This is something that worked for me and my dd. Toddlers can't HELP wanting to touch everything. They almost HAVE to touch it you know? We made the "one finger" touch rule. Dd could touch just about anything as long as she used one finger only. It's pretty hard to break things that way but it satisfied her curiosity.

AND I noticed that the more I explained things the more my dd listened to me. I think we, as parents, forget to give LOTS of information sometimes because things seem so obvious to us. When I just said "no, don't touch that!" (stone bookend on top shelf for example) she'd be back touching it in 2 seconds. When I remembered that her little mind can't make the next logical leap on its own and I EXPLAINED "I notice that you are touching the bookend again. I am afraid that if you touch it it will fall off the shelf and land on your foot and hurt you. I would be very sad if you got hurt. You can touch (pick something safe) but not the bookend." Or you might take the offending object down and let him see it with your guidance and then put it back explaining that he can only touch it when you help.

It was just a big revelation to me when I realized that my dd didn't have the huge scope of information and catalog of consequences that I had and maybe didn't *get* why I told her not to do something.

Does he nap?

It definitely sounds like you need a break. Maybe even once a week you could schedule someone else to watch him? I don't know your situation... dh? grandma? babysitter?

I've been there... and well, I'll be there again in about 6 months or so.
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#6 of 13 Old 09-21-2005, 10:25 PM
 
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I don't have it nearly as bad as you, Mama, although we do have our days!, so I can completely understand!! The reason I don't think I can do daycare is the whole vaccine issue... Does anyone know if daycares can prohibit non-vaxed babes? I assume they can keep us out...

One thing I can get done outside with my little man is weeding. He runs around while I weed our garden area and yard (I never thought I would enjoy digging dandelions out of my yard!). Is that something you could do? I know it's been pretty hot, but relief is on the way!

Sorry I don't have any better advice. Just want you to know we're with you!

Melissa
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#7 of 13 Old 09-21-2005, 10:40 PM
 
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My 100% unvaxed children attend daycare (well, my oldest is now in school full-time but he was in daycare this summer).
As long as you have the exemption forms filled out, most daycares will accept a non-vaxed child.
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#8 of 13 Old 09-22-2005, 09:48 AM
 
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I can completely understand where you are coming from. Preschool is a great option. Also, I go to the gym in the mornings. DD and DS stay in the childcare room there for 1-1 1/2 hours while I have alone time. Working out is a great stress reliever. Plus, you can read a book, talk to others, just be quiet, listen to music...whatever makes you feel good.
Just know that we are all with you!!

Becky, married to DH, Vern , for 11 years. Mom to DS, Z (1/01), DD, A (5/02), Hershey (11 yo Shih-tzu) and May 2010 TTC #4 on my homepage!
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#9 of 13 Old 09-22-2005, 10:28 AM
 
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I feel frustrated ALOT with my almost 3yo DD. I have no idea how to actually get stuff done with her around. I kinda gave up on the non-essentials a long time ago.

My best coping mechanism is to get out of the house everyday. We get up and get dressed as if we have to go to work and we go out. Library, drop-in centre, playground, supermarket. I think of it as our job...lol.

She doesn't nap, but occasionally will play by herself for a little while, so that gives me a tiny break.

You are not alone in your frustrations.
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#10 of 13 Old 09-22-2005, 10:45 AM
 
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One thing that's helping w/my twins is, we play in different areas of the apartment at various times and change the activities. When it's warm enough in the afternoon, I stick them on the patio w/pots and pans of water & they go to town. Coloring in the bedroom in the morning, and wrestling in the bedroom after dinner. Bouncing on the couch after breakfast. Etc.

But mine aren't 3, I have no idea what they'll be like then. And it may be easier b/c I have 2 and they entertain one another.

In fact - perhaps you could find a regular playmate for your son?
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#11 of 13 Old 09-22-2005, 12:13 PM
 
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Yikes I went to edit my post and deleted the whole thing. The gist was that I agree with the posters who said that pre-school could be a good thing!
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#12 of 13 Old 09-23-2005, 12:11 AM
 
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I just want to second one of the previous posts. DS is the exact same age as your toddler. I had the exact same issues and I thought I was going crazy. I started doing little things like the one finger thing. I know he couldn't help himself. I even didn't totally baby proof and only moved things that mattered. He could look at gently touch and I would go over to the item with him. We even did that with things at stores and other's homes with persmission. He ended up learning to not grab or be rough and now he barely touches things and if he does, he does the look and gentle touch. I would also say something like, we look, don't touch (on things that would break) but Mommy will get it and you can look. Then he would for me to get it and we would look together. My Mom taught me that because she said if you never let them touch anything then they don't learn how to touch it right and won't be able to go to other's homes that arent' baby proofed. But if they get their curiosity satisfied and know the rules (when to touch gentle, when to look only and explore with Mom).

I also ignored the advice about saying simple sentences and did what the other poster said about explaining things like, we don't pull the cups down because they will break and then we can use them anymore and that would make me sad to have no glasses to use, or something like that. A lot of it was just keeping up with him and watching and explaining and lots of diversion. Things have greatly calmed down over the past two months so things seemed to be working. But I can tell if I don't do all that or he is tired or hungry, we regress.

Dr. Sears has a great thing on discipline and the way of having lots of yes and not so many nos.
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#13 of 13 Old 09-23-2005, 03:27 AM
 
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I hear you. We hired a nanny 4 days a week, 6 hours a day to help me with our girls. It may not be an option for everyone. But having the help is wonderful! Preschool would be the same thing, IMO. If I couldn't afford a nanny, I would seriously consider preschool.
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