Need advice from seasoned moms on potty learning - Mothering Forums
Life with a Toddler > Need advice from seasoned moms on potty learning
Trishy's Avatar Trishy 04:02 PM 12-23-2002
I'm going to buy ds a potty seat just as soon as the holidays are over to start trying to teach him how to use the potty. He hides and squats when he makes a BM and he can make himself pee when he has his diaper off. What I am planning on doing is putting him on the potty whenever he wakes up for the morning or after his nap and whenever he starts trying to make a BM. I don't really know what to ask, I am just looking for some advice from some pitty learning professionals. Oh, I do have one concrete question. Should I buy some training pants after he starts going on the potty a bit and keep him in training pants during the day and diapers for naps, outings and overnights? Any advice and insights are appreciated.

Billy 7/10/01

4cuddlebugs's Avatar 4cuddlebugs 06:05 PM 12-23-2002
I will jump in.
My #1 piece of advice is- don't be afraid of letting him experience wetness and poop in his undies. I have always let them run naked, or just normal undies while at home. IT is important for him to KNOW he is wet. Obviously this means that you will have to get a little messy too at times, but you already do with himin diapers right?
Also, keep the potty accessible- meaning keep in the room he will be in most. The living room, family room. If the potty is too far away he probably won't make it and that will lead to frustration for him. where if it is close his success rate will be higher thus room for lots of praise and excitement at a job well done. Your excitement and over zealous praise and happiness ie. jumping up and down, clapping, woohooing etc. will help motivate him to do it again. BUT do not make anything of an accident- at the most a smile and an uh-oh, that's ok. Let's clean it up. The less attention you give the accidents the better.
And give him time. Don't force anything on him. If he doesn't want to sit on the potty, then he doesn't. It needs to be his initiative that gets the ball rolling. You can encourage and make it easier (by putting the potty out where he can see it). My first ds used his potty for many things when we first put it out- it was a crown, a seat to watch a movie, a helmet.... but he became comfortable w/it and knew from watching us and our talking to him about potties and what we use them for and soon he began using it for its purpose.
I hope this helps and good luck!
It sounds like he is getting to the point that he might be ready to do it. Remember to be patient.

nikirj's Avatar nikirj 06:08 PM 12-23-2002
Training pants were a waste of time with my daughter. They were ineffective when she did have an accident, so what was the point?

We had one of those 3-in-one potties and it never got used. The seat-part that fit over the regular toilet was the only thing we used and it worked out super well.

We just asked her if she needed to go potty every hour or so and let her take it from there; it took less than a week before she was telling us when she had to go, and she only had about 5 accidents.

I am thinking, though, that your son seems a tad young for this (he's about 18 months, right?) so I wouldn't be too dissappointed if it didn't work just yet.


4cuddlebugs's Avatar 4cuddlebugs 06:12 PM 12-23-2002
Oh, I forgot to answer your one concrete ?.
At first, you might want to put him in diapers, or training pants with a waterproof barrier when you go out. But as he gets better at home you can start putting him in regular undies, training pants and just always bring a couple clean sets of clothes until he gets better at holding it in.
He will learn to hold it and tell you in time, but at first he may not realize he needs to go until he has to go NOW.

Again, good luck!

momto l&a's Avatar momto l&a 06:21 PM 12-23-2002
My dd loved to have her potty in her bedroom instead of the bathroom, whos knows why. LOL Anyway we always let her run naked around the house and that realy seemed to help we also let her see us using the bathroom to help her understand. We would ask her sometimes if she had to go when it was obviouse that she did but we didnt force her to go or ask her every hour. Although for bed time when I started noticing that her diapers where dry come morning, I would ask if she wanted a diaper on or not, finally one night she said she didnt want one on, never wore one again at night.

We have never had an accident, she has been diaper free for about 6 months.
For us training pants where a huge waste of money!
edited to add that the her little poty for qutie a while was just a toy to her.

Lydia almost 3
Amelia almost 7 months
flminivanmama's Avatar flminivanmama 07:18 PM 12-23-2002
ugh we are having a heck of a time with this right now. ds is 33 months - e wants to go naked - no diapers or underwear and then he just pees anywhere! I can't help but get mad. I mean I am happy to have him wear diapers till he's in high school - i could care less... he's the one insisting "no diapers" but then he won't go in the potty... i mean he will go in the potty but he'll also go on the couch, in the corner, in his booster seat, etc

we are using the bummis training pants and I like them a lot... when he lets me put them on :

Andrea - mom to &
peggy's Avatar peggy 11:02 PM 12-23-2002
Great suggestions!!
I'm going to move this to the Toddler forum..we've had some great discussions over there about this.

cmnt2c's Avatar cmnt2c 03:07 PM 12-25-2002

Jumping in here...I think that these are some really great suggestions ! The thing that I would add too is to remember that every kids is different, and when they're ready to train, they will...and not a minute sooner

With our 6 yr old, I caved to pressure from my MIL. That day was miserable for both of us, he cried I cried...forget it. He simply wasn't ready and I refuse to let him get that upset over it. Fast forward 5 months, the day we're unpacking in a new house. He has a dirty dipe, I get out the wipes and he says "Mama, I don't want those cold wipes"....I explain that well....then you need to use the big boy potty. He says...okay and that, was that. Not one accident from that day on. Yup. No kidding ! (He was 22 mos the first time and 27 mos when it "worked")

Now..with Miss Priss here, she's been using the potty chair for nearly 4 months now. Dipes when we go out, nap, night...and she wears a shirt and no pants at home...occasionally we'll have a puddle...but, no biggy, we just clean it up and go on..not making it a big deal. She's going to be 2 next week.

So - go figure. I say to let them lead the way. If it's "work" to train...they're not ready...simple as that ! JMO !
Shirada's Avatar Shirada 08:58 PM 12-25-2002
My daughter started wanting to use the potty chair and/or regualr toilet with seat attached around 22 months, (just for pee), after her baby sister was born. Then she stopped wanting to so that was that.

Recently it was frustrating because every diaper change was a power-struggle, (she didn't seem to care if she sat in a dirty or wet diaper, but I did!), however, letting her go without a diaper meant that she peed anywhere. We had a guest staying with us so it was unrealistic to go diaper free in the house since we rushing around everywhere but the house. Now that it is just us at home, what has been working for us these past few days, (and it certainly surprised me), was leaving her naked from the waist down and putting her potty chair in her little tent like play hut and calling it her special bathroom. She LOVED that idea, the tent even has its' own zipper on the 'door'. She has been consisitenly using it since we tried it on Sunday, and even pooped in it for the first time on Monday, (although she first started on the carpet and surprised herself LOL). When she has insisited on wearing panties, she has peed in them and not attempted to go potty. I don't know where to go from here but it is a start. The tent idea really works and it is also very easy to clean up accidents. We dance, whoop and sing potty songs when she goes and tell her we are proud. By the way dd is now 31 months.
LiamnEmma's Avatar LiamnEmma 02:35 AM 12-26-2002
Originally posted by cmnt2c
I say to let them lead the way. If it's "work" to train...they're not ready...simple as that!
I totally agree with this statement! I "tried" here and there with ds...meaning, he showed some interest, I got all cheerleadery about it, he lost interest, I stopped hurrah'ing. We did this off and on for several months, but I really felt that "training" was not necessary, that when he was ready, he'd *go* just like that. Sure enough, it became clear at some point that he had complete control over his bladder and bowels, and so then I started getting him ready, saying "okay, such and such day we're doing this, such and such day, we're doing this (I went through a week of activities) and then on this day we're going to start wearing underwear!" He jumped on the bandwagon, and requested them a day early, and had few few few accidents. On the other hand, my friend "trained" her ds and it took her a year! yikes! That's far more work than I want! lol And in the end, they were both out of dipes and accident free at the same time. ds was about 32 months when he stopped using dipes. I think all kids are different, and yours may be ready, and that's great! We just have a footstool and an insert on the toilet seat itself.

Good luck! It's a fun adventure!

flminivanmama's Avatar flminivanmama 12:56 PM 12-26-2002
Originally posted by cmnt2c
I say to let them lead the way. If it's "work" to train...they're not ready...simple as that!
well i think the major problem here for me here is that he does want to - he begs to use the potty - he insists on using the potty but he will also pee and poop in his diaper or if I use underwear or leave him naked he'll pee and poop indiscriminitly too. it would be very easy for me to say "fine we'll wait till you are really ready and no potty until then" but he's not having any of that. and like i said above - it's hard not to get annoyed when he pees on the couch for the fifth time. He is 33 months and this has been going on for a few months already. probably around 5 months. so yeah - it's been work. His twin brother is not interested in the potty at all.
Mommasgirls's Avatar Mommasgirls 01:45 PM 12-26-2002
Your DS is the same age as my DD and she does the same thing. Wants to use the potty-but never seems to make it in time. We worked out the deal that she wears underwear-if/when she has an accident she helps clean up. So far she has made it to the potty twice I however am not concerned about it-iI just keep carpet cleaned nearby and use that when she has an accident.
flminivanmama's Avatar flminivanmama 01:57 PM 12-26-2002
LOL I don't think it's a question of not making it in time - I wish it was... he just wants to use the potty when he thinks of it - like another activity - otherwise he wants to pee or poop wherever he is (and if he is in a diaper, underwear, or naked)
Mommasgirls's Avatar Mommasgirls 02:01 PM 12-26-2002
Yep-that's my DD. If she's busy doing something else forget-she can be peeing and I ask if she's gotta go potty she'll look at me ans say No momma-I busy. LOL. Her older sister wasn't trained until she started preschool and one day she just did it and hasn't had an accident since. I just try not to stress about it