What does your 16 month old say or do? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 12-28-2002, 03:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My DS is 16 months now and he still isn't talking. He says mama and dada but that's about it. I took a quiz on babycenter.com to see what he should be doing now and I had all no's b/c he doesn't do anything he should be doing now. This has been worrying me for a few months now, but now even more after taking this quiz (OK stupid me.. shouldn't have done it..) http://www.babycenter.com/calculator/6782.html that's the website by the way.

Anyway, he doesn't do any of that stuff. He won't say anything other than mama and dada. He does say Bye, but it's more of him yelling BAAAAH at the appropriate time. Same with hi.. it's HAAAA when I walk in the room (he only does it to me). He won't say anything regarding eating or being picked up. He does hold his hands up if he wants me to pick him up. He doesn't listen to me, if I say bring me your binkie, he very rarely will do it (he's done it maybe once or twice, so he knows what I mean..) He won't answer if I say come over here to mama or whatever either. Most of the time he's just in his own little world happy playing by himself. I can't read to him b/c he won't have anything to do with it. He won't sit down and let me play with any of his toys with him, he gets mad if I start to touch them and he goes away. I mean I'm glad he can keep himself happy and occupied, makes my life a smidgen easier.. but I would like him to let other people play with him too. Is that b/c I haven't had him around any other children? Did I not pay enough attention to him earlier than this??

He also does not listen to me at all when I tell him no or tell him not to do something. He totally defies what I say not to do. There really are only a few things I tell him no about and that is purely safety issues, no way around it. I've made the downstairs as childproofed as possible for him. I just don't know how to get him to listen to me.. he knows he's not supposed to be doing a particular thing, he'll look right at me with a guilty look on his face and keep on doing it! Or he'll get down until I turn my back to him and then go back to whatever he was doing to endanger himself!

You have no idea how much this is worrying me. I'm on an e-mail list for sept 2001 babies and it seems like almost everyone else's baby that's the same age or younger is miles ahead of him skills wise. I feel like I should be asking our doctor to refer us to a developmental specialist b/c he's developmentally delayed or something.. and I really feel the longer I wait to do this, the worse it's going to become.

So, my question (sorry this got so long) is.. what does your 16 month old do (or did when they were that age)? Am I being completely nuerotic?? This is really worrying me!!!!!
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#2 of 17 Old 12-28-2002, 05:48 PM
 
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My DD hardly talked at all at 16 months. But she understood everything we were saying and would follow simple instructions.
I am sure your son is fine, but if this is worrying you, ask your doc to check his hearing and tell him/her some of your concerns.

Keep in mind that developmental guide lines are very broad..some children will be way ahead of the "norm" and some way behind...all of them perfectly "average" children.

Try not to worry..

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#3 of 17 Old 12-28-2002, 06:03 PM
 
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i don't know..he sounds a lot like mine.
he says mama and dada when he wants and that's not much.
he knows words but doesn't say them...where's the moon, where's the soccer ball, he'll point them out or go get them. But say them? No.

and he hates when I say "no" to him. He first won't listen and then when I move him he'll get annoyed and some times get pissy. Pretty toddler stuff.

I too have had moments of "uh, oh." but the truth is that all my friends have indicated that's kind of how it was with most of their sons. Daughters for the most part seem to be more verbal.
My son is 17 months.

it sounds similiar to me and if I take that test I might freak too but I gotta tell you I think we have normal toddlers, but I agree with peggy if you are really nervous check with your doctor. for me the thing i always support in others is "following their gut" and trying to separate the "fear" from the "gut." I don't have an answer as to that, I think it just takes time.
And that's not just for moms.


i just wanted to edit it to say that my son does babble and say his own words constantly. I would say that Yayeesh is number one, with deeesh (which might be "this") all the time.

Check out New Moon on my Astrology Site

http://tracyastrosalon.blogspot.com/

 

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#4 of 17 Old 12-28-2002, 06:09 PM
 
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Hi,

You really need to zone in to your intuition here and try and connect with your baby.

I have a 17mth old who does not say a word. He has recently started babbling which I'm sure to him is talking but nothing in the form of words.
He will go and get things if we ask him too and has learned a few sign language signs that has made life easier.

I did not talk till I was three. When I did, I was saying full sentences...being a single mom and not knowing the "appropriate age" for kids to do things, my mom never worried about it...I'm a yapper now!! :

If you think that there is a problem and that is your gut feeling, then I would check it out, if you are worried because he is not a textbook child...well I don't think there are too many!!

I have tried to say no to my ds and when I really raise my voice he will hesitate..I have found that going over and taking him by the hand and saying "please don't touch that, or please get out of this room" is more effective..I can easily distract him with toys that he likes or a book.

I doubt anything is wrong...
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#5 of 17 Old 12-28-2002, 06:12 PM
 
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hi,
just wanted to clarify that i wasn't saying that you aren't connected to your babe right now...
to me intuition and being connected are part of the same package...so I just said it...

ooops

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#6 of 17 Old 12-28-2002, 07:30 PM
 
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Ds is 19 months old, and isn't talking much either. He just recently started saying mama directly to me. He shakes his head no, and sometimes says no, sometimes says hi, said "kitty" once while petting a cat, and that's it. He understands a lot, but I don't know what he knows for sure since he isn't talking. If I say get me a book, he will go get one. Sometimes he lines up the right colored blocks in the right spaces, but then I'll ask him to hand me the yellow one, and he doesn't, so I don't know if he doesn't understand or is just ignoring me.

As far as the playing alone or with others, that sounds more tempermental than developmental. My ds definitely prefers to have someone playing with him - always has. I have not 'socialized' him at all. We rarely visit and play with other children.

I agree with the poster that talked about going with your intuition. My gut feeling is that ds is totally fine. What does yours say about your child?

By the way, I went to take the test you posted, and also got the answer that he may be developmentally delayed. I'm not buying it.
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#7 of 17 Old 12-28-2002, 07:56 PM
 
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DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT TEST WAS FOR "AGE 2" CHILDREN?
Jonathan is 19 months old and still doesnt say too much. He has said a bunch of words, but only once.
connorsmom~ My son sounds JUST like yours except he always wants me to play with him and his toys.
Your babe will be fine
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#8 of 17 Old 12-28-2002, 08:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for all the responses.. It really helps hearing about other babies the same age. I just get frustrated reading or hearing about what he should be doing at this age and realizing he's not doing them. Physically he's great! He runs, walks, jumps, climbs (EVERYTHING..lol), lifts things (particularly fond of lifting his exersaucer up and flipping it over and over..lol), and so on. So on that front he's doing awesome!! It's just the talking and other little things that worry me. I need to stop reading so much stuff and comparing him to what is the "textbook example"

I'm not going to go rushing to the doctor about this. I'll give it until his 18 month appointment in February and see what our doctor says then. I just need to stop worrying so much about every little thing!!

Thanks again for your responses.. I truly appreciate it!!!!
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#9 of 17 Old 12-28-2002, 08:33 PM
 
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I'm glad you're feeling better!!
I noted you said he's doing great with his large motor skills..I have found with my children, if they are working really hard at a new skill..ie: walking, running, jumping, etc., they seem to slow down in another area,,he may be just more interested in developing all of his physical skills right now and when those are mastered he'll move onto something else.

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#10 of 17 Old 12-29-2002, 12:25 AM
 
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My daughter scarcely said anything at that age either, just mama, dada, no, & a couple other sounds we knew meant something. Mostly grunts. Some kids her age said a lot more, but they tended to get things "wrong" - like calling everything round in shape a ball, even if it was a plate. My DD tends to use words very correctly when she finally gets around to it. She's now 23 months and the last 2-3 months have been quite a blossoming in terms of speech. She makes sentences now like "mommy feed me" or (the favorite) "IIIIIIIII do it!" Her vocabulary has gotten really large (comparatively). A slow start definitely didn't mean anything in her case, she is quite a sharp little thing. We have a friend whose daughter was extremely advanced verbally but didn't crawl or walk till really "late." She obviously just focused her energies on the verbal stuff. Now she's just as mobile as any other little one her age.

Just hang in there. IMHO, speaking later is rarely a sign of mental slowness - on the contrary, I believe it can be the sign of a very intelligent child who is simply more cautious about doing new things because s/he wants to do it correctly.

Carol
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#11 of 17 Old 12-29-2002, 11:46 AM
 
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Try not to worry! I know, easier said than done. My Mom tells me that I was a late everything baby, with NO babble talk. I held out for complete sentences.

My son is 16 months old, and jabbers all day long. But he only has a few distinct words. He'll try a new one, but I don't think he likes the results! Fish comes out dish, so he'll only say it once every few days.

He likes to say uh-oh for things dropped, and gah goh for "all gone." He calls nursing "da deeeee." Go figure.

He started out calling the cats "gikee" then renamed them "ha, da and na" for Hobbes, Diego and Noire. But that was months ago. Now he just meows at them.

He said "doggie" when he was 11 months, but now he just barks at a dog, or call it Bo like my Mom's dog.

He just woke up, and I can hear him jabbering over the monitor.
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#12 of 17 Old 12-29-2002, 04:24 PM
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Thank you, Wickida Witch, I was going to point out the same thing--that test is for Age 2 and it says above it that children should not be expected to reach these milestones until age 2.

So don't worry, Connorsmom ! There's eons of development between 16 months (that's not even 1 1/2 years old!) and age 2. If your intuition tells you that he's developmentally delayed, then I'd trust that--but other than that it doesn't seem like you have anything to worry about.

My dd is also 16 months. She does some of the stuff on that list--points to a few body parts and some things in books, and responds to some simple request ("can you bring this book to daddy?" "throw the ball to me" and that kind of thing). She imitates things like "shhh" with finger held to lips and blowing on food to cool it (including, now, my nipples ), and dancing, and playing with her toy wooden kitchen doing the exact same things I do with the real stuff. She does simple puzzles and loves to be read to. As far as talking, she only says "hi" and "bye" clearly, not even mama or dada, and "ba!" for bath, and "ha" for hot. That's it. Lots of nonsensical, but very very cute, babbling.

The son of a friend of mine, same age as my dd, was saying more than 30 words at 12 months (!!!). Another toddler I know, the daughter of a neighbor, who's now 2 1/2, wasn't sitting until she was 10 months, walking until she was 18 months, or speaking until 20 months. But by all anyone can tell she's totally fine. Babies are just all so different.
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#13 of 17 Old 12-29-2002, 04:31 PM
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Hi again...

Just wanted to add that it's not like I'm always all zen about this stuff either. It's really, really, reallyreallyreally hard not to compare and contrast, especially with the presence of the internet and with dumb quizzes like that one lurking about, just waiting to make us feel worried and insecure. :

I definitely was expecting dd to have a big vocabulary when she was a year--I thought if you were verbal with your kid and read to them, they'd be extremely verbal early. So I was a bit bummed when that wasn't the case. But then I admitted to myself that it's much more that I'm just impatient than worried! I just really want to communicate with her!

But I love that having a child is so mysterious and surprising, that we can't predict what they'll do when they do it. That's part of the wonder of it all!!
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#14 of 17 Old 12-30-2002, 06:09 AM
 
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I know how you feel!! My 1.5 year old dd has three words, if you count "BAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" as a word!

It is weird, because when my ds was 1.5 he was into complete sentences!! I get asked things like, "well, do you interact with her/ read to her?" : (no, i just ignore her all day!)

People who don't know her think she is "slow." But all you have to do is spend five seconds with her to see she is all there!

I think sometimes she might have this thing...oh, I can't remember the name! It starts with an 'a' and means weak mouth muscles, because she also has a hard time learning how to nurse. But her Dr. says no...I had her hearing tested and she is fine there.

I know she CAN talk, because sometimes she will babble, so I guess we will wait... I wish I had done the sign language with her sometimes. I can always tell what she wants, but it would be great to know what she thinks sometimes!
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#15 of 17 Old 12-30-2002, 07:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by PerfectLove
I know how you feel!! My 1.5 year old dd has three words, if you count "BAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" as a word!

It is weird, because when my ds was 1.5 he was into complete sentences
My two boys are this way too.
I was watching a video back in September where ds1 was the exact age that ds2 was on that day. I think it was like 16 m 3 days old.
I was amazed at how different they are. In everything. ds1 was talking all kinds of words and sentences, eating scrambled eggs very well with an adult size fork, prented swimming in the tub.
I kinda felt like I was doing something wrong with ds2 since he wasnt doing those things too.
I realize though that I was a very different parent 13 years ago.
Much more "mainstream" than I am now.
Mom to Shawn 14y 7 mo and Jonathan 19 mo
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#16 of 17 Old 12-31-2002, 09:18 PM
 
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This topic is full of helpful advice, but i just wanted to share my story, too! My dd is 17 months and sounds just like everyone else's...she says mama and dada nooooooooo and a few other words only we can interpret.
Her thing is, though, new words are all whispers. When she learns a new word ("papa" for Grampa was like this), she whispers it. A cow says MOOOOO at the top of her lungs, but sheep, apparently say extrememly quiet 'baaa'. The funny thing is that she babbles loudly the rest of the day!
That's my quirky kid. I wouldn't worry about yours, just keep talking to him!
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#17 of 17 Old 01-01-2003, 01:17 AM
 
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My baby said his first word in Portuguese yesterday!
He was putting the hair brush in his mouth and I was saying over and over "No booca(sp?)" He said "booba".
I'm so proud!!
My dh's niece at 16-18 mo was talking up a storm in both languages! She still hasn't stopped.
They are all so very different~
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