Toddler control issues.... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 10-15-2005, 08:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Our dd (2.4 months) is coming into a rather frustrating stage of control issues. For example, she commands us where to put our hands and where we can't (ie: "dont' put your hand on the table, Mommy... You can't touch that coloring book, Mommy... etc ...) Sometimes its for things that are hers (we can't put our foot on her chair, etc..) and if that's the case, then if she hasn't asked politely, then we ask her to rephrase it and when she does with a "please" then we do as she asks. But when she is just trying to randomly control our behavior, we explain that the table is for everyone, or that i need to do what is comfortable for my body etc.. and then change the subject.

For the most part, this is working, its just really irritating and gets old. But i can handle this more than i can her control issues with our pets.

She freaks out of the cat or dog touches her things, walks under her easel, etc.. Sometimes she bursts out, "No!!" out of nowhere and kicks them. We always separate, try to intervene before it happens, talk about being nice, kind, respectful, what might happen if she can't do that etc.. etc.. Our dog has bit her twice and and we did extensive behavior training with her. Jasmine (our dog) is doing great and is showing no signs of aggression toward her and we are right on top of what dd is doing and heading it off at all costs. but i'm really getting frustrated and feel like we need another approach. I understand that much of this is developmental but... Mamas who have BTDT- how long does this last? what did you do?

thanks!!

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#2 of 4 Old 10-15-2005, 10:56 PM
 
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dd is about 2 1/2 now, and she cycled in and out of trying to control our cats for about four months, but it still happens when she's tired or "off". We talked a lot about how the cats don't have words. (She would dangle a string and yell No when they tried to bat at it.) We also didn't give much sympathy when she got scratched because of aggressiveness towards the cats. Again, explained that they didn't have any other way to say no. Basically, we also talked about treating everyone in the family nicely. Now we can intervene when dd asks the cats politely to get off her pillow, or whatever.

Sounds like you're doing all the right things. This too shall pass.
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#3 of 4 Old 10-15-2005, 11:13 PM
 
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DD will be 2 next month and this has just started here. She screams at the dogs, "tattles" on them when they're doing something they're not supposed to, and tells me where to sit, what to eat, where to put our feet, etc. I'm interested to hear how BTDT mamas have dealt.

Erin
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#4 of 4 Old 10-16-2005, 12:13 AM
 
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My ds was exactly like that at that age with the cat. The cat could not sit in his bedroom or even sniff one of his toys or he'd have a fit. :LOL It took several months for it to pass. Now he is majorly aggressive toward the poor cat so we are working on that.
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