yep, steph, i would say that's normal toddler behaviour.
not sure how much that helps, considering you still have to deal with it, but it really isn't your fault!
my son went throo a major want it/don't want it, end result in a tantrum either way phase too. still does sometimes, and getting anything done around here is a challenge. the second i'm mobile, he needs something. now.
the only consolation i can offer is that it does.. gradually.. get easier as they learn to volcalize their needs. cuz if you don't know specifically what they want, it can be an endless guessing game which is frustrating for both. but once they can speak and understand complex scentences, negotiation is alot easier.
infact, 3 minutes ago i was pleasantly surprised at what happened. my son called "mama, soymilk please!" from the other room. and i said, "you have some, by the couch" and he said "no, table!" (he wanted me to bring it to him at the table). i walked in there and *almost* did it for him, then i decided to ask: "you have feet don't you?" and he looks down at one of them and touches it, looks at me quizically. "and you know how to walk, right? then i think you can get it yourself.." and he DID!!
(sorry, but this is thrilling and rare for us!)
so, hang in there!