somebody throw me a rope - i'm starting to loose it! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 01-06-2003, 11:46 PM - Thread Starter
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i don't know what's going on these days, but it just seems like dd (19 mos.) is just getting sooooooooo cranky, capricious and challenging! i mean, i expected that it wouldn't all be peaches and cream, but i find myself on days like today starting to lose my patience and perspective! until about 2 months ago, the only time she wanted to nurse was at naptime and bedtime... now, it's like she's 6 months all over again - nursing every hour or so! and she doesn't want to be in the car, then doesn't want to get out of the car (wtf!)... basically, she wants me to be on the floor playing and esp. singing her songs - of course i don't know which songs she wants, and since she's not talking yet, she can't tell me - but she let's me know loud and clear that it's not the right one!!! if i try and do anything around the house - unless she's in the mood to help, she throws a fit - and usually decides it's time to nurse.... i'm sorry to sound so whiney, i'm sure it's all normal.... i just need to share w/someone who knows what i'm talking about - and won't tell me it's my own fault, for letting her nurse "so long":

ok mamas - give me a boost - please!
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#2 of 10 Old 01-07-2003, 12:28 AM
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Steph...all i can do lately is offer hugs!

ok, so i got into it on that other thread

I just want you to know, i have been there done that....still doing it, and doing it...and pulling my hair out!

sometimes, infrequently, i give myself a time out! it helps...a teeny tiny bit, and then i can get through the next 5 minutes....

peace to you.

edited to add: i am no longer nursing my youngest. he is a handful, and i do want to pull my hair out, but i realized i needed to clarify and say he is weaned

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#3 of 10 Old 01-07-2003, 12:43 AM
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:LOL :mischeif inky ild ag I hope a rope of silly, funny faces will do! You sound like such a great momma! I think it says a lot that your daughter has the freedom to not only ask for what she wants but that you are so accomodating in your response to her. This will help her become even more expressive. I gets easier, for sure! Because you are accessible to her she reaches out to you often. This is a phase for her. The terrific twos can start a bit ahead of schedule. Encourage her to use her words. When you discover which song she wants you to sing take a min. after you sing to tell her the name & have her repeat it back to you. I remember that inbeween time & using(unintelligible words & just screaming incoherently! It can be so frustrating for you & her! You can never be held at fault for being a caring, concerned & responsive momma. She will come out in her full expression from your care. if you haven't been around fully nurtured children, this can sometimes intially appear as if she is needier than those wonderful babes that lie down in the crib & go right to sleep ( or lay there staring out into?). But what you are teaching her is that you are there for her & that she can rely on you in any circumstance. This will reward your life & her life in ways you won't even realize until you see her independence, confidence and esteem. I read in Mothering years ago about tantrums-it said something like- just reassure the child that it is o.k., even if she doesn't think or feel it so right now. And that her tantrum is a immature reaction that as she gets older & more verbal that she won't have to rely on to express herself. I hope I didn't hack up the e widom of that too much! Take care!
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#4 of 10 Old 01-07-2003, 12:43 AM
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I send a hug also! dd (16mths) has been nursing so much lately also - it can be exhausting in a way that it wasn't when she was 6 months old. THe weather makes it hard to get outside lately - but I find that helps. You are a wonderful momma - reading and singing even when you are frustrated - I hope the next few days are better.
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#5 of 10 Old 01-07-2003, 12:52 AM
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yep, steph, i would say that's normal toddler behaviour. not sure how much that helps, considering you still have to deal with it, but it really isn't your fault!

my son went throo a major want it/don't want it, end result in a tantrum either way phase too. still does sometimes, and getting anything done around here is a challenge. the second i'm mobile, he needs something. now.

the only consolation i can offer is that it does.. gradually.. get easier as they learn to volcalize their needs. cuz if you don't know specifically what they want, it can be an endless guessing game which is frustrating for both. but once they can speak and understand complex scentences, negotiation is alot easier.

infact, 3 minutes ago i was pleasantly surprised at what happened. my son called "mama, soymilk please!" from the other room. and i said, "you have some, by the couch" and he said "no, table!" (he wanted me to bring it to him at the table). i walked in there and *almost* did it for him, then i decided to ask: "you have feet don't you?" and he looks down at one of them and touches it, looks at me quizically. "and you know how to walk, right? then i think you can get it yourself.." and he DID!! (sorry, but this is thrilling and rare for us!)

so, hang in there!
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#6 of 10 Old 01-07-2003, 02:12 AM
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AAAHHHH!!!! This is truly where the fun begins!!!HA!

I suggest you surrender to your babe....making it much easier on yourself in the long run.

Toddlers usually do want to nurse more around this age.

They also need lots of preparations for what's about to happen next,etc...

And lastly,they need choices. Choices about everything.

and Mommy needs frequent breaks.

So,surrender,nurse,prepare,offer choices,take a break!!!!!!

I'm right there with ya'....just tryin' to get through the day as happily and peacefully asI can!!

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#7 of 10 Old 01-07-2003, 05:15 AM
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I couldn't possibly say it better than myrhhmaid but just want to add something that helped me. I would remind myself how short each stage of development is and how much I miss them when they are gone. Also, that good ol' sense of humor. Sometimes I'd literally fall on the floor in frustration which would usually cause enormous amounts of laughter to diffuse the situation. You can't go wrong doing exactly what your doing. You are totally connected and that's what she needs.

DS 12 DS 9 DD 6
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#8 of 10 Old 01-07-2003, 10:34 AM
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hey there-hope you feel better after getting a little frustration out! boosting you up high and sending much stamina, humor and patience to you--and surrender sounds good too!
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#9 of 10 Old 01-07-2003, 02:20 PM - Thread Starter
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THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!! Your responses brought tears to my eyes (can you tell i'm a bit hormonal?)..... today i feel much better - i think i was just having a bad day yesterday - well maybe a cumulation of days really. but i do feel more on top of it today - and guess what? dd is having a great time just pushing raggedy-ann around in the laundry basket... 5 min. on the computer to myself - yipee!! thanks again for the kind, wise words and heartfelt energy! you mamas are the best!
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#10 of 10 Old 01-07-2003, 04:47 PM
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So glad to read that things are going better today! I don't have any advice, just tons of sympathy.

My son is 17 months, and has been sick the past few days. Can you say "return of the little nursey monster?" He nursed for 2 1/2 hours straight yesterday morning. Poor guy. He's feeling better today, but he had to wake up to nurse MANY times during the night.
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