oedipus complex in 17 month old???? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 01-07-2003, 03:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My 17 month old ds gets so upset if DH and I snuggle or kiss. He pushes DH away from me. He has a wonderful relationship with DH but he get so angry if DH is affectionate with me. Is this early for the oedipus complex? Does anyone else have experience with this?

Thanks,

Lori
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#2 of 12 Old 01-07-2003, 03:35 AM
 
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DD is 2 and still does this a bit. I'll elaborate another time.
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#3 of 12 Old 01-07-2003, 03:54 AM
 
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dd is two and also does this. i thought about posting about it before, but never got around to it. i will be really curious to see if anyone has any theories regarding why she behaves this way. it's not about feeling left out, because even if she's included she hates it. more often than not, she wont even 'let' dh put his hand near my seat in the car. :
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#4 of 12 Old 01-07-2003, 05:01 AM
 
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I think this is really common. I noticed it in both my boys (2 & 4) my 2 year old has the same reaction when my 4 year old wants to sit in my lap or be held. He thinks I'm his property. I do think it's a completely normal stage of development. My 4 year old is now talking about marrying me, too cute!

DS 12 DS 9 DD 6
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#5 of 12 Old 01-07-2003, 09:52 AM
 
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My dog does this. I think calling it an oedipus complex is a bit too over-reactive. It's just jealousy and territoriality, plain and simple. Siblings do this too. My Mommy! No, my Mommy! You can reflect his feelings back to him to let him explore his emotions around sharing mom.

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, was my toddler bible. It's available everywhere.
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#6 of 12 Old 01-07-2003, 02:37 PM
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It's just developmental, not oedipal. Our dd does this too, but it's equal--it's not that she's jealous of just me or just daddy but both of us. If we hug or kiss, she RUNS over, shrieking, and worms her way in between our legs, then looks up expectantly until we pick her up and make her part of the hug.

What do we expect? They ARE the center of the universe, after all.
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#7 of 12 Old 01-07-2003, 10:07 PM
 
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My kid does this too. Thought maybe I had warped her because when I mentioned it to a friend she said that her son claps and laughs whenever she kisses her dh!
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#8 of 12 Old 01-08-2003, 11:59 PM
 
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My dd does this - I just think she somehow thinks if love is being given out, it ought to be hers.
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#9 of 12 Old 01-09-2003, 12:57 AM
 
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if my dh and i are cuddling he wants to either push my dh away, or join the hugging.

if my older son and i are cuddling my baby will try to push my older son away...

i think he is afraid that i am being "taken or stolen"

he started this at around 17 months
he is 18 months now too.
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#10 of 12 Old 01-09-2003, 01:32 AM
 
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My ds is 14 months and he is constantly pushing dh's face towards mine to get him to kiss me. It is really cute....if my dh asks him for a kiss he will just direct my husband over to me.
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#11 of 12 Old 01-09-2003, 03:09 AM
 
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That's so cute to hear about what different babies do. Ds is almost 2 and does the same thing. Dh makes a game out of it by saying, "No, _my_ Momma" and they tease about it. It makes me laugh and feel quite loved . I think it's a totally normal stage of development and has a lot to do with thinking that they have to share their security person with someone else. Ds also laughs and claps too sometimes when we kiss, he used to do it more when he was around 18 mo.s and younger though so I do think it's a developmental stage they go through. I guess if we have a girl for #2 we'll see if she does the same thing.
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#12 of 12 Old 01-09-2003, 03:20 AM
 
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