Problems when Dh needs to stop playing with Ds - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 01-28-2003, 03:16 PM - Thread Starter
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Ok, this has been a big issue for us recently (since my mom visited in early Jan). When Dh and Ds are playing and Dh needs to stop to do dad stuff or even to just relax, Ds flips and cries and cries. I think Dh kind of started it by giving into the cries, but it totally breaks his heart. Ds doesn't do it with me, but, I have always been his comfort zone and dad has been his jungle gym!!!!! He has tried the timer (which usually works for most things but for this one Ds (26 months) just says "2 more minutes" and then when they are up will ask for 2 more, etc, etc and then still gets very upset when Dh finally stops playing) He warns him a lot before stopping playing, he has tried ignoring him when he does this (not totally, he tells him I love you son , but I need to do daddy things now, I'll play with you again soon and that is that, but this makes us all soooooo sad cause Ds just continues to cry, he does eventually get over it, but still).
We also think this was precipitated by my mom's visit cause she plays with Isaiah non-stop while she is here. It is sooooo great, but now Isaiah has this feeling that how nana plays with him is how everyone should play with him and Dh and I just don't have the time, so his independent play time has decreased dramatically since her visit, but that has been getting better recently (he is doing just fine right now engaged with his toys etc while I write this).
The most difficult thing is how he is coping with Dh when he needs to stop playing, what do you guys think????? What would you do??? Are we just not giving him enough attention???? HELP:

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#2 of 4 Old 01-28-2003, 04:05 PM
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Awwwww! How sweet. My ds (same age) is just starting to really like playing with Daddy, too. Much better than the old days, when he would cry if dh took him away from me.
Maybe of you have an activity ready for him, like coloring or something, that dh can get him started on and then you can take over?
Isaiah is a beautiful name.
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#3 of 4 Old 01-28-2003, 10:51 PM
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Or dh can set up the next activity with ds so instead of stopping right in the middle of playing air plane or flipping over, he and dad have built a train track or garage with blocks and ds can keep playing easier then completely switching gears and losing dad.
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#4 of 4 Old 01-29-2003, 01:18 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for the replys guys
Dh usually doens't leave until Isaiah decides it is time to switch activities ~ He has decided he is done playing trucks and wants to cook with his stove, so dad will leave when it is time to change activities and say "I've had fun playing trucks but I can't cook with you right now but why don't you come cook with me or in the bedroom (where the computer is when he is doing bills) etc. So Isaiah does have closure on one activity before dad leaves.
Something really neat happened last night though. We have both been talking about how daddy feels when he can't play anymore cause he just loves playing with Isaiah and it makes daddy extra sad to see Isaiah cry, so last night they came home (dad is with him at night while I work) and Isaiah said " no waaa waaa" and he didn't cry but for a really short time when dad had to stop playing to start the fire, and for the first time in a while Isaiah decided to help with the fire (it isn't as bad as that one sounds, he helps make balls of paper to put into the fire and helps dad get wood). So, maybe were on to something???? Any other advice would be still be helpful though!!!!!!

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