Constant Power Struggles UGGGGHHHH! - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-29-2003, 02:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd Maddy is 16 mos old (next week) and has begun to fight with me about everything. It started with the high chair at restaurants, which is not so bad because I or my husband just hold her or she sits in the booth (that is until she needs to run around!) The big problem is napping and bedtime. She sleeps in her own futon on the floor, and I lie down with her and nurse her to sleep. Lately she nurses and instead of falling asleep she bites me and then tries to get up. Last night I wrestled with her for 45 min before she passed out screaming and exhausted. What are my options? Rocking, singing baths and books all seem to make her more awake, and I can't nurse her if she's going to bite me. I don't want her to cry like that every night, it breaks my heart, but I can't just let her stay up indefinately either. Her bedtime is 9pm, so I don't think it's that I'm trying too early. She recently switched to one nap a day around mid-day for only and hour or so, so I think she must be exhausted. I know I am. What am I doing wrong?
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Old 01-29-2003, 02:57 PM
 
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I don't think you are doing anything wrong - you've got a little one just like mine, who is too excited about life to sleep! I have experienced the exact scenario you described more times than I care to remember. What we have started doing is turning off all the lights in the house (ds actually does this while I carry him around as part of our routine - if he doesn't turn it off then I do), and then go into the bedroom and lay down to nurse. If he wants to crawl off the bed and leave the room, I let him. The house is totally dark, so he usually just stands in the hallway for a moment, and then eventually comes back and climbs up into bed. Dh and I just lay there in the dark bedroom waiting for him. This doesn't mean he will go to sleep really quickly, but it at least stops the up and down from the bed, and the struggle to go out of the bedroom and play.

And if I am just at my end and can't take the nursing, twisting, flailing anymore, dh will take ds for a drive to get him to sleep, just to give me a break.

Hang in there!
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Old 01-29-2003, 03:00 PM
 
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*double post*
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Old 01-29-2003, 07:41 PM
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I have experienced this pattern a couple of times now (ds is 2-1/2). We work ourselves into a tantrum before he can get to sleep. I say we because I can get really frustrated too. I think he actually needs to go to sleep earlier before he gets so dead set on not sleeping. Last night I tried earlier bedtime and it was better, not great but better.

But if she is already overtired let her cry it out - OOPS I said a bad thing! I mean cry it out with you there, let her release that negative energy. My son just gets in that "nothing will make me happy" mood and I've just learned to stop trying to make it better and let him cry. I hold him, let him cry and eventually he curls into me and goes to sleep. He actually gets very frustrated when I'm constantly trying to make it better. He really seems to need to let it out.

good luck, Liz
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Old 01-30-2003, 06:03 PM
 
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I totally know what you mean. i actually think and have noticed too that when they switch to a shorter nap schedule that an early bedtime is much better. By the time that ds is overtired, it sure doesn't look like it (as my Dad said observing him)..he actually becomes a little spaz running around tireless so it seems and everything energizes him. I have to be really careful to catch him when he just gets drowsy.
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