More Toddler sleep stuff - how to reprogram her sleep schedule? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 13 Old 01-29-2006, 07:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
mely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's 1:30 am. She just went to sleep. She turns 2 in 2 weeks.

I need to decompress for a bit before I can fall asleep. Which means that I will wake up at about 10ish - and so will she.

She will take a nap at about 5 and wake up at 8. Then tomorrow night she will be up until 1 again.

I can't go on like this - I have older kids and need to get to sleep by 10 at the latest - which means I need her to go to sleep at 9.

it's getting worse and worse and I am at a loss. She used to go to sleep by 10 - then it was 11 - then it was 12 and now it's 1? My dh is in the navy and living 1200 miles away for the rest of the school year - so it's the 3 of them and me and this is about how I feel

I need to wake up earlier and wake her up earlier but I don't know if I can do that...

I am not good at this getting kids to sleep thing so if anyone has any suggestions - I would LOVE to read them!
mely is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 13 Old 01-29-2006, 09:43 AM
 
LizaBear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 6,047
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A 3-hour nap starting at 5pm is probably not a good idea for her then.

I honestly think I'd be dropping the nap for a few days and dealing with a couple of hours of tired grumpy toddler, and getting her into bed around 8 or so instead of letting her nap that late.

She'll likely adjust the rest on her own.

Canadian mom to Boo (Aug '02), Bug (Aug '04) and Bear (Dec '06).
Jesse (July '09)
LizaBear is offline  
#3 of 13 Old 01-29-2006, 05:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
mely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've tried skipping the nap and she will just pass out where she is playing. I tried waking her up after an hour and she went back to sleep... I tried waking her up after 2 hours - and she went back to sleep....

Maybe if we go into town I can keep her up a bit longer this way....
mely is offline  
#4 of 13 Old 01-29-2006, 05:26 PM
Banned
 
boongirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: a place where freedom lives
Posts: 4,450
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Try for a few days to wake her up at 8am or so and try not let her nap. If she falls asleep anyway, wake her up after an hour and do something vigorous with her like go swimming or outside or something that will wake her up. Do this for at a week and I bet you will see a change in her schedule. When my dd was around 18 mos she started to do this kind of thing. After a week of not letting her nap, she started to go to sleep at 8pm or so and sleeping for 12 hours. She will 3 in 2 mos and this is her pattern. It will be very hard to wake her, especially the first few days.

Good luck!
boongirl is offline  
#5 of 13 Old 01-29-2006, 05:41 PM
 
veggiemomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: WV
Posts: 970
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I concur w/ pps. My son is 22 mo, and if he naps anywhere 6 pm, we are up half the night. This is how our day goes. Get her up a little earlier, 7:30 or 8 ish. Play hard and let her eat as much as you can get her to eat. After lunch, try to get her down for a nap. If she won't, don't press it. Keep her so occupied that she can't fall asleep for a nap. Then about 8 or 9 in the evening (if she makes it that long) start doing the bedtime routine thing, whatever you normally do. We have a snack, take a long bath, brush teeth, then sit together on the couch and read books or dh holds ds and tells him stories. He has a cup of milk or water and dh holds him until he falls asleep. After his drink, we don't allow him to get down and play anymore. We have told him enough times that he either sits w/ mommy or daddy or goes to lay in the bed. Those are the only choices he has. We don't punish him or let him cry it out. We just enforce the rule by not being in play mode and continuing to read to him. Usually he falls asleep fast because he's exhausted. If he sits still for 5 minutes, he's asleep! Then dh puts him in bed. Sometimes he wakes up about 3 am for a drink. Then it is right back to bed, no playing or anything fun. He usually then sleeps until 8:30 or 9 am.
veggiemomma is offline  
#6 of 13 Old 01-30-2006, 08:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
mely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
last night she napped from 4-6 and went to bed at midnight instead of 3 - which was a big step in the right direction.

i woke her up at 8 am today and forced her to play. She fell asleep for her nap at 2 and I will probably wake her up at about 4.

I guess the biggest issue is that she fights sleep like nothing I've ever seen. I will lay her in bed and she runs off and tries to escape. I need to lock the bedroom door to keep her in the room. The child will go until she passes out where she is playing.

I'm scared to post this on other boards because I always get the person telling me that she doesn't know how to put herself to sleep and to let her cry it out - not an option at all here - but I do worry that she can't recognize that she's tired and go to sleep without a fight....

Wish me luck - I might have her asleep at a decent hour tonight!
mely is offline  
#7 of 13 Old 01-30-2006, 10:08 PM
 
chann96's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: West Vrginia
Posts: 1,177
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am very interested in the responses here. My daughter (2.5 years) usually just goes to bed with us at around 11:30. My husband gets up around 6:30, I get up around 9:30 and she gets up around 10. I have managed a couple of times to work her back to going to bed around 9 which works perfectly for me, but the moment anything disrupts her routine she goes instantly back to going to bed with us. She tends to take long, late naps too. I try to keep her up and she'll go down at 8 and wake up after an hour, hungry and ready to play. When she takes a nap around 4 or 5 I will sometimes try to wake her up after an hour and she just goes back to sleep on me.

Today I am hopeful. We went for a very long walk and then she only napped for about 10 minutes. I knew she was going to nap late so I just laid her on the floor in the den instead of putting her upstairs. She woke up quickly and cuddled with me a little bit, but never went back to sleep. She should be exhausted. She's getting a bath right now and then I'm going to try for a snack and cuddles to sleep. We'll see how it goes.
chann96 is offline  
#8 of 13 Old 01-31-2006, 05:00 AM
 
mamasaurus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,553
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
mely - in a nutshell - (1) take charge of when her nap is going to happen, (2) start a very consistent bedtime routine that begins right after supper is over, (3) get her to bed early - 7pm if possible, and (4) you don't need to "cry it out"!

I so hear where you are coming from! We were heading in this direction just before DD#1 turned 2. If she took a 2 hour nap during the late afternoon - - she would be up later, and later, and later. We were at 11pm for bedtime, and decided something had to be done before we hit midnight.

We stopped her naps completely. This was probably a mistake on our part. It was very hard on her, especially around 4pm - she really would lose it then. Big tantrums, a lot of yelling at Daddy while I made supper, etc. What we should have done was to get her up by 7-8am, get her moving, running, playing, etc. Then have lunch at 12noon - no later than that - and set up a naptime routine that would have had her in her bed, napping, no later than 1pm. Then we should have carefully, gently woken her up around 2pm.

From age 2 to 3, she was very crabby. We attributed it to general toddler behavior, but in retrospect, we now think she still needed some sort of nap. Remember, we had eliminated her naps. I wish I had done what I wrote in the previous paragraph. That would have probably helped her so much to have had that 1 hour nap, and she still would have been asleep by 7-8pm.

To bring your thoughts ahead in time to when your DD is 3 - our DD#1 is now 3 years, 3 months. She still doesn't nap, but we started having a "quiet time" after lunch in her room, on her bed with quiet toys, books and music. Recently, I started a bedtime routine that has her in bed, ready to go to sleep at 7pm. And she is really ready! She wakes up between 6:30-7am, and we go, go, go in the AM. Outdoor activity, busy play, etc. She is ready for quiet time after lunch, and is refreshed and ready for the afternoon. She plays well in the afternoon and is soooo ready to go to sleep at 7pm.

I have become a firm believer that children need an early bedtime and a bedtime routine that starts early - supper at 5pm, not 6 or 6:30pm. Bath done, jammies on by 6pm, not 8pm, etc.

Another thing - our DD#1 used to fight bedime, too! But since we started with a very specific bedtime routine that starts from supper on, she has just gone right along with it, so happily. It was like she needed to know what the deal was, what to expect, and now she is just great with it.

Hope that is helpful.
mamasaurus is offline  
#9 of 13 Old 01-31-2006, 11:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
mely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
mamasaurus I see what you are saying and I agree with you - but sadly at this point it's not very practical.

Dh is away right now and it's me with 3 kids until June. My older sons have basketball games and practices that are on the strangest schedules along with other school things. If I had my way she would nap from 2-4 because I spend my mornings running around with errands and that is my goal but it doesnt always work that way. The last 2 days I had doctor appointments in that time slot and she didn't get her nap in until 4.

The boys practices and games are anywhere from 3:30 - 5 to 8-9:30 and every time slot in between. My poor daughter spends so much time in the van and her schedule is just shot because of all of this I know she needs more of a set schedule and a bedtime routine but it's just so difficult with all the running around I do.

I think I need to clone myself so that I can keep her home on her schedule and still run the boys around...

I don't know how to be fair to all the kids - to give let the boys do the activities they want to do and still have a stable schedule for the baby
mely is offline  
#10 of 13 Old 02-01-2006, 12:43 AM
 
sbmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: in the weeds...
Posts: 125
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just bought Elizabeth Pantley's second book - No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers. It had some great insights for us, so it might be worth a read (if you can find the time -- sounds like life has you running in circles.)

Hope this helps,

Heidi
sbmama is offline  
#11 of 13 Old 02-01-2006, 02:37 AM
 
mamasaurus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,553
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mely
The boys practices and games are anywhere from 3:30 - 5 to 8-9:30 and every time slot in between. My poor daughter spends so much time in the van and her schedule is just shot because of all of this I know she needs more of a set schedule and a bedtime routine but it's just so difficult with all the running around I do.

I don't know how to be fair to all the kids - to give let the boys do the activities they want to do and still have a stable schedule for the baby
Forgive me for asking - I'm sure you've already thought of this - but just in case - any chance on car-pooling for the boys on some days? Perhaps they can go with another family to the practices and games on some days?

It sounds like their practices and games are mainly in the late afternoons/evenings? It sounds like you are almost there with her nap being in the early afternoon - you say that is your goal. Maybe a few tweaks here and there can make it happen more often than not?

I'm not trying to drive you crazy with questions, just trying to think this through, to see if any little ideas will help.

Also, and I hate to say this, but bear with me - I wonder if the boys might have to give up at least one activity each so their sister can get a decent nap and you can have your sanity. A family is a "family", after all. We had to decide just recently to change our 3 year old's schedule to accommodate our baby's nap. The 3 year old had to lose out on some activities, but the baby REALLY needed her nap. And my DH and I need our time alone in the evening, so the girls need to be asleep by 7pm. It's part of the give-and-take of family life. You need a break just as much as your DD needs her rest and your boys need some activities. Maybe you need a family meeting with your boys and explain the situation. They might come up with solutions we haven't thought of yet!
mamasaurus is offline  
#12 of 13 Old 02-01-2006, 04:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
mely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamasaurus
Forgive me for asking - I'm sure you've already thought of this - but just in case - any chance on car-pooling for the boys on some days? Perhaps they can go with another family to the practices and games on some days?

It sounds like their practices and games are mainly in the late afternoons/evenings? It sounds like you are almost there with her nap being in the early afternoon - you say that is your goal. Maybe a few tweaks here and there can make it happen more often than not?

I'm not trying to drive you crazy with questions, just trying to think this through, to see if any little ideas will help.

Also, and I hate to say this, but bear with me - I wonder if the boys might have to give up at least one activity each so their sister can get a decent nap and you can have your sanity. A family is a "family", after all. We had to decide just recently to change our 3 year old's schedule to accommodate our baby's nap. The 3 year old had to lose out on some activities, but the baby REALLY needed her nap. And my DH and I need our time alone in the evening, so the girls need to be asleep by 7pm. It's part of the give-and-take of family life. You need a break just as much as your DD needs her rest and your boys need some activities. Maybe you need a family meeting with your boys and explain the situation. They might come up with solutions we haven't thought of yet!

Believe me if I could find anyone to carpool with I would do it in a heartbeat. We live north of town and there's noone on the team to carpool with. The rest of the kids live in town. These teams are middle school league teams so the kids come from all over.

We were duped into signing up for basketball. I was under the impression that there would be one practice a week and a game on Saturday. Instead we have 2 practices a week and 2 games a week - per kid. Last night my older son had a game from 5-6 30 and my other son had practice from 7-8 30. Other than Sundays - I think I have 4 days off from basketball this month.

The boys did not want to sign up for basketball, I made them sign up (again thinking the time commitment was a lot less) because they need to be more active. My boys would spend the whole day sitting around reading a book, and while reading is great, they are both starting to get a bit pudgy and we wanted them to be more active. This is their only activity and I seriously didn't think it was going to be this time consuming.

It would be ideal for her to nap between 2-4. We go to the gym every day at 12 - because that's the time that works best for her to be at their day care - and because thats my ONLY time alone. On a good day she falls asleep on the way home from the gym, but the princess doesn't seem to think that she needs to fit her nap schedule into my schedule. She's still not napping until 4 which I think is too late for what I need...

The last 2 mornings she woke up at 8 am so I am hoping she will nap earlier today. She is still going to bed WAY too late but I'm hoping that I can get her to nap earlier and get her to bed earlier.

Thanks for listening to me - I am hoping we are almost there....
mely is offline  
#13 of 13 Old 02-01-2006, 10:45 PM
 
mamasaurus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,553
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, I hate to say it, but it sounds like the gym time is interfering more with her nap than the boys basketball. Because it sounds like the basketball is more in the late afternoons/evenings.

About the gym - I know it's your only time to yourself, but...it's cutting right into her nap - which, IF she could do the nap - you would have time to yourself at home while she naps, and you might be able to get your time back to yourself in the evening. I guess that is something you have to ask yourself - would I rather have time to myself at noon for the gym, or time at home while she naps, and in the evening to relax and get to sleep sooner?

If you were willing to give up the gym for say, 2 weeks - give it a shot with the nap right after lunch - give it a good 2 weeks, for you both to adjust. Then see where you are after 2 weeks. Might be worth a try?

About the basketball - could you go to the coach and ask if the boys could only do one practice and game per week? Tell the coach that your DH is gone right now and you have way too much to handle. There much be some compromise the coach could work out with you. I really wonder if you just said, "Look, this is all we can handle right now. Will you work with us? Will you let the boys participate half-time?", maybe the coach will say ok.

Did you have to pay money for the basketball?
mamasaurus is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off