May '04 Mamas: the month in which we welcome a new Feather! - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 128 Old 02-28-2006, 03:52 PM
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that is exactly the kind of info i was looking for. i didn't know they made boosters with 5 point harnesses. i would be totally freaked by having him just with a seatbelt.

i don't know exactly how tall he is. i should measure. (he's probably 36 inches based on the growth chart--consistently ~97th%). i looked this morning and his head is over the top of the seat but the tops of his ears are not quite at the seat top (with butt securly in the seat) so he is not quite too tall yet. that is if he lays his head down on the seat. it is so reclined that he mostly rides around holding his head up and then it just *looks* like he is way too tall for it. so i can keep eeking out use of this one as long as i can. and then probably get a 5 pt harness booster. he is ~33 lbs now.

i'm looking at the boulevard online. and the alpha elite. thanks for the suggestions i think isaac hates how reclined the roundabout is. he wants to be sitting more upright and looking out without craning his neck. maybe that is more the cause of the complaints than anything. the more vertical seats appeal because my back seat is fairly pitched. i have the roundabout on the most upright setting and it is still really reclined. great for sleeping in the car but not for just driving around. (he never sleeps in the car because the longest drive we ever take is about 20 mins). i should put one of those pool noodles underneath it but it seems less secure to me to put a shift-able item under the seat.

dh and i are having bad disagreement on child rearing discipline and whining. i don't know if i am too lax or his expectations for behavior from a not-yet 2 year old are too high. probably both but we are having a hard time meeting in the middle. isaac *does* whine a lot. but he's a toddler. and a very non-verbal one. whining and pointing are sort of critical to his communication style.
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#122 of 128 Old 02-28-2006, 09:17 PM
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Hey, we have the Alpha Omega Elite. DH and I liked it for the black velvet. Also, it dos pretty good with the safety stuff, 5 point harness and it will be a booster when Rowan gets to be as big as Isaac! Wow! 33 pounds?!?! Rowan *barely* hits 23. Hehehe. He's a tall, skinny babe.
And my tall, skinny babe is currently out with my short, skinny DH for music class, and since today was my day to bring Rowan to my friend's house for our babysitting swap, I have had almost 4 and a half HOURS to myself!!

And what did I do with my time, I ask you? Well, first I had to take the car back to Midas to get the inspection finished (my car failed the first time because it needed a new windshield. It has one now...almost $250 later!! ), it passed this time, yay! Then I went to the gym. I rule. THEN I went to the tailor next door to drop some stuff off to get fixed, but they were closed. THEN I went and picked up some Mexican food (a pork gordita and some chips w/beans and cheese....), and went home, showered, popped a movie into the player, and ate dinner and folded laundry while it played, and now it's paused so I can finish it after the load of Rowan's clothes comes out of the dryer.
Productive but fun afternoon! A little too much driving around for my taste but whatever.

Jstar, I feel you on the toddler "issues". DH and I are both at a loss as how to handle some of the stuff that's cropped up. I mentioned it a bit on the YG, but basically, Rowan is doing things JUST because I said NOT to. He is also having a hard time with feelings of guilt/remorse, I think. Yesterday during a playdate, he threw a toy at my friend's *head*! I took him away from the situation and tried to quietly explain to him that that was not acceptable, and he sort of just freaked out and tried to hit ME. So, well, he's way too little for a time-out, I think, so I just walked away while saying "that hurts mama" or something like that. He basically threw a 5-minute tantrum. Anyway. My friend totally understands, she has a DD just a month younger who does some of the exact same things, and her girl LAUGHS when she tries to tell her something's not ok! Yikes.
When he throws food I also assume he's done with his meal, and sometimes he gets mad when I take things away from the table, and other times, yep, he was done. It's all different each day, you know? Ahh, life with a toddler!

On the flip side, OMG is he cute. And sweet, and kissable! And he talks!! I my babe.
They should be home any minute so I may have to submit this quick and go get my sweet babe to put him to bed. I actually missed him today, even though the afternoon was a nice break for me. Tomorrow we have a LLL Evaluation meeting (meeting-before-the-meeting) and ack! I am supposed to try to get a new sign in sheet together! Hehe. I'd better go.
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#123 of 128 Old 02-28-2006, 11:14 PM
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Jstar--a'fore I ferget, I really dig sherman alexie too. I saw a movie with him in it and directed by him (or written?) where the central characters have to walk a really long way and the protagonist is a young man dealing with being from the rez, his parents, etc...

Had a great weekend in the forests of Michoacan, imagine a sunny oregon, at some hot springs resorts...sulphur water...two days of glorious TREES! Oh, too long I've been in the desert. Had a great time and got along just ducky with Viet, after breaking up with him on Friday. Again. I have to laugh. Anyway I think we really ARE broken up this time but you wouldn't know it based on last weekend.

Renae, what a great day you had! I love feeling so productive. I also love not doing much of anything. Sounds like a nice time and boy can I relate.

Whining: Jstar I know some parents have discussed this on other forums saying things like "encourage them to say it in a normal voice" to get what they want (positive reinforcement of the behavior you want)...what else...just really using the words/phrase for his desired item every time he whines so that eventually he'll use it too (instead of just getting it for him and responding positively to the whine)...
totally imagine you do all those things though, and he's just not a verbal kid--they DO exist--and they are usually boys, too! I think much of it is developmental for his age/stage but just really reinforce when he does use words or a normal tone of voice, and model the behavior (using the words) too. That's always your best bet. Try to ignore the whine instead of drawing attention to it and disapproving of it.

Renae I can totally relate to just adoring how friccin cute these little munchkins are! OMG! I can totally freak out about how cute Sol is, like today she was riding on my back and we could see each other in the mirror, and she caught my eye and bared her teeth in the hugest "fake" grin I have ever was hilarious and her puff of blonde hair with curls and the backdrop of a beautiful painting of dancing fairies my dad did...I just totally took the photo in my brain and laughed my head off at her antics.

Happy Birthday Beth! Belated! Hope it was a fun celebration. What did you do? Who else had a birfday? Pisces People!
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#124 of 128 Old 03-01-2006, 01:01 AM - Thread Starter
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I think the seats in question are not technically "boosters with 5-pt harnesses"--they're generally FF carseats that convert to boosters (you remove the straps; each category has its own weight/height limits and guidelines). (: sorry I'm so anal.) Also, if the Roundabout is so reclined (ff?), you might want to have it checked by a tech. The seat is not safe if it's reclined past a certain angle...

Toddler stuff... I'm the "disciplinarian", but I don't try to discipline a toddler, I try to redirect, use positive statements (instead of "no" constantly, which he just laughs at), not put him in unrealistic situations... ETA Jstar, I hope you realize I'm agreeing with you, not trying to make suggestions; I know you know this stuff, and I guess I'm kind of saying your dh may have unrealistic expectations.

OR people... Thurs. afternoon works best. Is that doable? (For those who are not gone, of course.)

I'm in a crappy mood. The hip pain came back yesterday afternoon. The baby flipped head up again last night (I'm telling you, I *know* the 2 are connected). I don't think I can get in to see the PT before my trip... And of course, I just want her to STAY DOWN.
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#125 of 128 Old 03-01-2006, 02:29 AM
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KK- oooh that is so not fair about the hip pain/ baby flipping. Hopefully you can schedule with the PT for right after the trip, but what a bummer about having hip pain while stuck in an airplane seat. Did the PT show you an home exercises that will help? Oh, and yes, Thursday is great.

Elsanne- your trip sounds lovely (even with the confusing broken-up-with-lover parts). Your description of the forest was great. It makes me want to take more time to appreciate and visit all the great sites here in the Pacific Northwest. I so seldom get out and see all the natural beauty that's so close by.

And the other birthday girl was...... (drumroll please...)


Take a bow, Sarah. Sorry if I outed you and you didn't want me to (but not very- tee hee). Psst- I have a lil something for you. Perhaps I'll get it to you in a coupla months, the way I finally got Elsanne's gift to Jstar.

Renae- the day off sounds great.

Carseats- No advice. Luke'll probably fit in the in the Britax till he's in high school. (insert wry grin here).

Discipline. I really need to go back and read "Becoming the Parent You Want to Be." I remember really liking that book.

In the mean time, here is some advice I got a long time ago on the gentle discipline forum, that I like and use pretty often. Oh, I gotta say first though, that I'm not sure if it WORKS- but I think all toddlers go through whiney/biting/throwing/hitting phases and some of it just has to be weathered. So here's that advice (I think I've shared it before- bare with me).

I can't recall for sure but I think even very young babies can understand "no" or "stop" as meaning what you actually mean by it. But not until kids are MUCH older... like years older... are they cognitively able to process a negative direction. "Don't touch that table" is meaningless.. all they can process is the "touch the table" part and their brain doesn't go back and add the negative directive to it.

No running --> walking only here
Don't hit --> use gentle hands
NO throwing -->food stays on the table

Not for (child's name)
Simply distract (Let's play ball)
Yucky (face in disgust at trash, shoe, etc.)
Call his name
Stop! (especially useful in danger situations for my son)

I try to use instead a descriptive directive such as stop, hot, ouch, that's Mama's, climb down, etc.

“I’ll bet you are (frustrated). The tough work of being a toddler is…(learning to be patient when momma is cooking)”

I just happened to use that last one today! I'm not sure it helped Luke, but it helped me be calm.

Mom to ds1 (ASD) born 2004 and ds2 born 2007
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#126 of 128 Old 03-02-2006, 10:37 AM
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Fiddle-dee- those are great suggestions! I love the way language can be so flexible and still get the point across.

We've had a few discipline problems, but the lentil isn't at the laugh at us stage yet. He just ignores us. Most recently we've been having a lot of trouble with him throwing things. I don't care too much if he throws things, but it's against the rules at his day care, so often he will throw something and then start crying "I threw it!" and get really sad, as though he's waiting to be corrected. Not that they are mean there, I think he just doesn't like getting in trouble. Like his mom. But we did have a situation the other night where the lentil was throwing a drum, which was both too large to be thrown and too fragile. So we asked him not to throw it, and told him that if he did throw it again we would take it away. Predictably, he then threw it, right in front of us, as though this were an interesting new experiment. So I took away the drum, and told him he could have it back in 5 minutes. Then I set the kitchen timer for 5 minutes and gave that to him, so he would know when it was time to have the drum back. When the timer went off, he was already so into the next task that he didn't even care to have the drum back. But I felt like it was a good way for us to reinforce that we do have rules and we will follow through with our rules. Also, having the timer kept me honest, because there are times when I say I will do something then I forget.

We are in the midst of an interesting new development. The lentil hasn't nursed for three days now, and he didn't even ask to nurse this morning. We've been doing parent-led weaning, where we will do everything we can to distract him in the mornings so that even if he asks to nurse we can find a substitute that fulfills his need for intimacy and cuddling. Yesterday he asked once or twice, but was much more interested in his special breakfast of eggs, toast and sausage, than he was in nursing. this morning he just didn't ask. I was shocked. I'm still shocked, because I was expecting him to do more of a taper than this. I was prepared to taper him down for months, if need be. But apparently he is going cold turkey on me, after all my attempts to keep him from going cold turkey. But I'm not going to have a no-more-nunus party just yet, just in case. I wonder how long it will take for my milk to dry up though... my breasts are slightly sore, but not really engorged. Just sort of full. But not really. Hmmmmm.

Ack! There's supposed to be a big storm coming through, which means the lentil won't be at day care this afternoon! Bad news! That's my work time. gah! gotta go, quick, get some work done now.
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#127 of 128 Old 03-02-2006, 03:39 PM
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Oooh- what kind of storm? about the nursing, maybe he was just ready.

L is really into throwing too. I ignore most stuff, I let him throw it or take it away if it's too fragile (he has a wooden train that can't take a beating). But we do have three rules: 1. Give food to mama when you're all done (no throwing food). 2. Give cups to mama when you're all done (no throwing drinks), 3. No throwing at the kitty. Dude, I feel like he's made NO progress in learning these rules. When he throws his food, I put it back on the tray and have him hand it to me. But I can't remember a time he actually handed it to me first. And when he throws at the kitty, he looses the item, but he doesn't really seem to care- the throwing seems worth it to him. : Some day he'll get it. I guess I just have to be patient until then.

Mom to ds1 (ASD) born 2004 and ds2 born 2007
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#128 of 128 Old 03-02-2006, 04:49 PM
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