#2 You know you're the parent of a toddler when ... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 91 Old 02-06-2006, 04:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay so there was this same thread a while back and it was hysterical! So I'm starting another one!

You know you're the parent of a toddler when you have to say things like:

No honey, we don't take our clothes off in the grocery store, they won't let us stay if we're naked.

or

No, you don't need to smell your sister's poopy. Poopy's not for smelling. Can't you smell it from there anyway?

Your turn . . .
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#2 of 91 Old 02-06-2006, 08:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Doesn't anybody want to play?
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#3 of 91 Old 02-06-2006, 09:25 PM
 
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When he will only wear red socks!
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#4 of 91 Old 02-06-2006, 09:31 PM
 
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when you run around the dining room table for 1/2 an hour (chasing dc of couirse) and think that it's preety fun too.
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#5 of 91 Old 02-06-2006, 11:31 PM
 
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when you have to explain why we dont poke the kitty in its back end "eye"
when a trip to the grocery store results in hand stickers for the whole family upon checkout.
when every door must be shut, not because you want them to stay out of things, but cause they want to "shut da door"

treehugger.gif )O( unschooling, witchy mum to Addy(7) and Niamh(4)
Living with an invisible chronic illness.
Fat and hairy. And happy with both *( o Y o )*
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#6 of 91 Old 02-07-2006, 01:19 AM
 
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When your toilet isn't working well because a pair of sunglasses have been flushed down it

When you can't go to the bathroom without a visitor or better yet when the visitor tries to cram a toilet brush between you legs


amy

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#7 of 91 Old 02-07-2006, 10:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AddysMama
when you have to explain why we dont poke the kitty in its back end "eye"
:

Oh this thread is the BEST!!

-when your cats' names are now, "Go to Hell Toby, Go to hell Misha & Got ot hell Chloe"
-when EVERYONE'S cookies are fair game
-when ds screeches at top of lungs in grocery store as "echo responding" answer to the ONE other toddler there
- you can suddenly see educational value in that irritating big purple dinosaur & even sing along!
-and #1.......ds announces in middle of post office,"Look Momma, I eat booger!"
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#8 of 91 Old 02-07-2006, 10:26 PM
 
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When you know the theme songs to all the Noggin shows and find yourself singing them often "ooobi oobi..."

You own more kids music than adult music

None of your clothes are stain-free

You find most of the sand in the yard has made its way into your house via little pockets.

"Just running to the store quick" is a phrase of the past

You talk sing-song to your friends

Mom to Joscelyne 14, Andrew 12, and Mackenzie 10 and wife to Nate.
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#9 of 91 Old 02-07-2006, 10:30 PM
 
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When you look down at yourself and think I'm clean "enough" to go out.

When the phase No sweetie, panties are not hats. is an major part of your daily conversation.
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#10 of 91 Old 02-08-2006, 02:47 AM
 
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Tonight "Do not stick your fingers into any orifice that is NOT on YOUR OWN body!" (The child has discovered ears, eyes, nose...on Mom and Dad too!)

When your conversations with other adults have turned into things like the fact that tonight you asked DS to find the duck in the tub...and he crawled, QUACKING, across the tub to it and shows it to you all happy.

Or the fact that he now knows how to sing...

When you find empty milk cartons and full cans in your bedroom...because DS got into the cabinets and trash...AGAIN. (We're not allowed to throw away HIS milk cartons.)

when you have to plot to immediately take the trash out upon throwing away each empty quart...

ahh life with somebody who is SIXTEEN MONTHS OLD tomorrow!!

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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#11 of 91 Old 02-08-2006, 02:56 AM
 
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When you fart and your toddler gives you the stinky sign and shows you the changing table.
-Tristana
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#12 of 91 Old 02-08-2006, 11:57 AM
 
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when you have to say "Please don't snuggle your blueberries. You'll stain your shirt" more than once over dinner.

DS 6 DD 8
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#13 of 91 Old 02-08-2006, 12:15 PM
 
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when you have to use crayons to make notes for your work because dc wants to use your pen.
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#14 of 91 Old 02-09-2006, 10:30 PM
 
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When you bend over at the store to reach an item on the lower shelf & child screams, "Look momma's big bum!"
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#15 of 91 Old 02-09-2006, 11:09 PM
 
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when you wear jack-o-lantern earrings in February at the insistance of your not quite 3 ft. tall fashion consultant.
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#16 of 91 Old 02-09-2006, 11:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AddysMama
when you have to explain why we dont poke the kitty in its back end "eye"
I must say this 10 times a day! I swear, I don't know why he is so fascinated with that little pink puckered butt but he can't keep his fingers off of it. I didn't even know cats HAD anal glands until this obsession started.

"Honey, mommy can pick her own nose."

"Tell Mr. Willy good night, we will see him in the morning." as DS reluctantly lets go of his favorite toy while getting ready for bed.

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#17 of 91 Old 02-10-2006, 02:52 PM
 
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has double-duty in the kitchen as an obstacle between your opening oven door and your incoming toddler, and you can see with the eyes that are in the back of your head that they're coming from a particular direction and promptly shove your butt out as far as you can to keep them from the oven

your toddler gets a Mr. potato head for her birthday and configures the pieces in such a way as to scare herself and cower at your legs, begging for uppy and get it off.

when an hourglass comes on the tv and she yells" mama days of our lives!" (i know bad mama, LOL)

you actually have a conversation with your dh that the Steve guy on blues clues is not as cool as Joe, and about how housewives must find Joe much hotter.

you say at leat once a day, "hey! don't drink that!" and it's usually in reference to bath water they're sitting in.

jen
caitlyn 2/9/04
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#18 of 91 Old 02-10-2006, 05:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by apmama2myboo

you say at leat once a day, "hey! don't drink that!" and it's usually in reference to bath water they're sitting in.
: and the water usually has little um "floaties"
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#19 of 91 Old 02-10-2006, 06:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by apmama2myboo

you actually have a conversation with your dh that the Steve guy on blues clues is not as cool as Joe, and about how housewives must find Joe much hotter.
totally agree

"Kaya those are mamas and it hurts when you use them as handles to get on the sofa" as I lay on the sofa watching my dr. phill lol

"those are the hamsters please stop eating them"

"we do not eat our own poo no matter how it tastes"
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#20 of 91 Old 02-10-2006, 09:19 PM
 
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Quote:
when your butt...

has double-duty in the kitchen as an obstacle between your opening oven door and your incoming toddler, and you can see with the eyes that are in the back of your head that they're coming from a particular direction and promptly shove your butt out as far as you can to keep them from the oven
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#21 of 91 Old 02-10-2006, 10:06 PM
 
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When you say "Shoes aren't for eating. Shoes are for walking. Please take them out of you mouth." Followed a minute later by "Daddy's shoes aren't for eating. They are for walking. Please take Daddy's shoes out of your mouth." And so on and so forth through out the family's shoe colection.

Mama of three.
 
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#22 of 91 Old 02-10-2006, 10:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by apmama2myboo
you say at leat once a day, "hey! don't drink that!" and it's usually in reference to bath water they're sitting in.

I finally gave in and in a fit of fatalism stopped using bubbles & bought him a toy "martini" glass to drink from!
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#23 of 91 Old 02-10-2006, 10:32 PM
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First off I must say I prefer Steve. If Joe is the newer, younger replacement to Steve, I much prefer Steve. The new guy looks like a teenager and has no personality!

Here's my latest from DS, age 3 in two weeks:

At Christmastime, DS jumps up and down in front of the tree. "Jump, tree! Come ON, tree, jump! Awww, tree don't wanna jump."

I"m headed downstairs with DS in front of me. He stops at the bottom and turns around to look at me. "Mommy, stop. You can't come down the stairs now." I stop at foot of stairs. DS looks both ways. Puts hand out. "Stop! Train coming. Wait. It's going. Here it comes. It going that way. OK!"

Or,

"I can scream outside." Me: "Yes, honey, you can." DS: "I can scream out the window!"

DS, upon seeing hamburger pizza on his plate: "Ewww, poop!"

I could go on and on...
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#24 of 91 Old 02-11-2006, 04:05 AM
 
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When your walls have crayon scribble marks on them but only at about 2 and a half feet from the floor......
When your living room floor looks like a Kellog's plant erupted (cereal)
it's late and I cant think of very many....but I do have to say that Joe is hotter than Steve....

Here's me I married then we had dd15 , dd11 , ds10 , and then and now we and I blog!
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#25 of 91 Old 02-11-2006, 04:12 AM
 
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Joe is def hotter then steve...
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#26 of 91 Old 02-11-2006, 04:49 AM
 
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When listening to The Beatles song "Drive My Car" you're really hearing the Elmo version in your head.

When it takes 17 trys and 20 minutes to make the bed because someone is "helping" you.

When driving past road work on a rare evening out without dc you are compelled to enthusiastically point out the differnet kind of construction trucks to your adult friends ("WOW! Look at that STEAMROLLER!" etc.)
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#27 of 91 Old 02-11-2006, 10:21 PM
 
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When you have to make sure you can pay with cash or debit because if she sees you sign your name, dd will cry and cry because she wants to color too....

When you get into the car by yourself and think - "Which should we listen to... Wiggles or Little People?"
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#28 of 91 Old 02-11-2006, 11:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melinoz
When you get into the car by yourself and think - "Which should we listen to... Wiggles or Little People?"
When you read that and think . . . oooh! Little People! Gotta get that one!
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#29 of 91 Old 02-11-2006, 11:22 PM
 
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When you step out of bed you hear the crunch of a million Cheerios at your feet.

When you are listening to "The wheels on the bus" for the thousandth time at the insistance of your toddler.
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#30 of 91 Old 02-12-2006, 12:29 AM
 
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When you realize that burning smell coming from the kitchen is a rice cake that is preheating in the oven at 400 degrees. DS learned how to open the oven today.

When all your measuring cups & spoons have been relocated into the toy kitchen.

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