Who thought it would be a good idea to let Britney Spears design toddler clothes? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 117 Old 02-17-2006, 01:40 AM
 
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I dont think a 2 year old needs to be wearing a bathing suit with the naval out thats just wrong and the parents need to have some common sense.
: Nice.

Its the judgmental attitude on this thread that makes me sick, not a baby in a halter top.
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#92 of 117 Old 02-17-2006, 02:14 AM
 
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Well as far as little girls clothes- I think there is a difference between a bikini and a 2 piece bathing suit. A bikini has the triangle top and skimpy bottom, a two piece has a straight across full coverage top and appropriate bottoms that cover everything. If I have a DD, she will not wear a bikini... but MAYBE a 2 piece. Living in Hawaii, I'd actually prefer a one piece, shorts and short sleeve sun protective suit like my son wears, since we are all very fair skinned.

I've always had a "rock/alternative" inspired style, so I do indeed dress my son with little rock/punk clothes. And yes, *gasp* he has a mohawk. Its fun, its adorable, and its not hurting him! I'd most likely dress my daughter the same way- just in girly colors! Of course once they are old enough to pick their clothes out I would not force that style on them... but I've always been an individual and gone against the "norm" and I really do NOT think that is a bad thing to pass to my children!
Here's my cutie: http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a25...7/P2081116.jpg
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#93 of 117 Old 02-17-2006, 11:04 AM
 
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genna i love the style you speak of and there are so many cute clothes that i would want to get if i could afford to, if you google punk baby you get some great stuff, but to me i would never pay $18.00 for a kids shirt., let alone a shirt for me.

courtney

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#94 of 117 Old 02-17-2006, 12:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jewelysmommy
i saw one of those dateline specials or whatever and they interviewed pedophiles to find what they look for ina atarget. one of the things is children dressed in sexy clothes, they actually go more for that, so in a way you are advertising to the pedophiles by dressing your children in a "sexy" manner. (stating here that pedophiles are the ones to blame here)now i think there is nothing wrong with the human body i don't want to make my dd's ashamed of their bodies in any way.
*snip*
but the thing is the pedophiles are out there and we as parents have a right to protect our children. well it isn't right that females should have to adjust their dress so they won't be a target of some crime that is just the way things are. is it our fault? no! but precaution should be taken even if it is unfair, and not right.
i dont think changing clothing styles is a precaution... i see your arguement but i think it may be harmful to assume you can control the thoughts of dangerous people with something as minor as a wardrobe change, im not trying to minimize your concerns. i feel like maybe some women would think that and it may let them sit in denial and think that children who are victimized did something(or in this case, wore something) that made them targets and thus victims. women tend to do that more, they try to distance themselves, so they can think it can never happen to them. dont dress your dc's 'innocently' and think that equals safety. read 'protecting the gift' and empower your child.

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Originally Posted by jewelysmommy
i would be happy if woman could walk around topless i have advocated this since i was a child, before i ever understood anything about sexuality. guys could do it and i wanted to as well b/c it's comfertable. as a grown woman i understand why i shuldn't do that. because it's dangerous
dangerous? by this logic then breastfeeding in public is just as dangerous.

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Originally Posted by jewelysmommy
to me cutting off the shirt up there or drawing attention by making cups or such is turning it sexual in a way, but having no shirt at all is not sexualizing
*snip*
some of the clothes that attempt to accentuate features that little children do not have. it's innessacary.
do you have an example of 'cups' on toddlers clothing? im having a hard time picturing it. i dont really understand how breast=sex somehow but im trying hard to see the argument... i saw a cute shirt that could be construed as having breasts but i didnt see it as sexual and had a really hard time understanding how anyone who isnt a pediophile could. and i dont understand the 'drawing attention' thing, do you think children also should not wear bright coloured shirts? they definitely draw attention to the chest. im thinking it may be a cultural thing. to me there are nice clothes and ugly clothes, warm weather clothes and cold weather clothes... i dont understand what 'sexy' clothes are. im not turned on by fabric

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Originally Posted by boobybunny
My babies belly buttons are my favorite part of their bodies. It was where they were connected to me.
im feeling the belly button love too

Quote:
Originally Posted by kate42
I saw a size 2T thong once and couldn't believe it! What toddler would be happy with undies stuffed in their little tushies?
what *woman* would be happy with undies stuffed in their little tushies? now toddler thongs are very confusing. i cant see anyone wanting a fulltime wedgie let alone a toddler. i so cant understand thongs. and it seems everytime i go looking for maternity underwear all i can find is maternity thongs. the very thought just blows my mind. im huge and pregnant and cranky and i add a wedgie and cold buttcheeks. no thanks! as you can see im biased anti thong though...
after some thought i think perhaps they have them for very small girls in dance class. wasnt there a thread about one mom finding her dd's thongs and turns out she needed them for dance class...

toddlers are babies. by getting all worked up about hiding a baby's diaper, a baby's thighs, ect. youre sexualizing them. its like the arguement of being modest while breastfeeding, if you act like youre doing something wrong youre reinforcing the idea that its wrong and people should be uncomfortable.
when it comes down to it its all about being comfortable in your skin and choices. and respecting people... it doesnt really matter what anyone wears when it comes down to it...

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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#95 of 117 Old 02-17-2006, 12:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Altair
NOW we get to the crux of the argument... 5 pages in. there's a huge racial/cultural undercurrent to this thread.

the very idea of "tailored" "respectable" "professional" etc. clothing is a racial, class-based signifier. That's obvious. Our society uses clothing to *mark* your class/race/personality/etc.

There's nothing objectively wrong with baggy jeans and big shorts.
I have VERY conflicted feelings about this...so prepare yourself for a stream of consciousness...

I have met people in tailored, professional clothing that are obnoxious boors and I don't want to associate with them. I LOVE their clothes, but I don't like who they are.

My DH's sister and her hubby, they are 100% "grunge" clothes, and are kind, intelligent, genuine people. I DON'T like their clothing at all, but I like who they are very much.

My mom dresses very tailored, professional, and is gentle, endearing, and fun to be with. I love her AND her clothes.

My DH's brother dresses "grunge", and is has caused the family MUCH pain by his actions. I don't like him, OR the way he dresses.

Maybe I'm giving people too much credit, or myself too much credit, but when I look at clothes and like or hate them, I don't make snap judgements about the person in them *simply* based on their clothes - I've had too many experiences where the cover does not reveal what is inside, going in BOTH directions (i.e., not everyone in trendy clothes is vain and vapid; not everyon in tailored clothes is conservative and oppressive; not everyone in "grunge" is cool and open minded - life is not that simple). I evaluate people by the way they conduct themselves rather than the clothes that are on their back. Case in point: I was at the DMV yesterday. I am light skinned, light haired, short female and was wearing a black maternity tee and boot cut jeans with sneakers. A guy came in, dark skinned, tall, wearing some FUBU stuff and had a do rag and stood in line behind me. I smiled at him like I would any other person I initially encounter. He smiled back, and struck up a conversation about DS, asked if I was having a boy or girl, and then we complained about the guy at the desk who had NOTHING prepared and was taking forever - then went back to waiting individually. Now, I didn't really like what he was wearing at all, but I didn't assume anything about him until I talked to him, and he turned out to be nice. Then, 2 light skinned people came in, dressed similar to me, and I smiled at the woman in the pair. She stared right through me and scowled the whole time, so that was the end of that. So even though I liked her clothes, I didn't feel any need to talk to her at all. Then, leaving the building, passed by 2 "urban" dressed guys, smiled at them, and they ignored me. So there you go.

On the other hand, I do believe that people sometimes choose clothing to make a statement. And, I don't necessarily buy that *our society* uses clothing to mark class/race/personality/etc. I think it's a chicken/egg thing - if a majority of the members of a group that you identify with and share values with, or aspire towards dresses a certain way, you might want to emulate that to feel like part of the group - but I don't blame that on society - because really, if an overwhelming majority of people from a certain way of life dress a certain way, how can you *not* associate that clothing with the way of life? what happened first? Did "society" assign the clothing style to the group of people to mark them, or did the people dress similarly to have a sense of community and belonging, and then the wider group of society recognized this? Who is to say in which order it happens. I think the problem is when certain groups are judged as "bad" or "good" based on their clothes, as opposed to the way they conduct themselves. THAT is the problem, IMO.

I think it's just as unfair to accuse someone who dislikes "urban" clothing of being a racist/classist as it is to accuse someone who doesn't like "professional" clothing of being antiestablishment. Maybe they just don't like the clothes. As I said above, I just don't like grunge clothes. That doesn't mean I don't like the grunge "culture" - far from it - I just really don't like the clothes. I do, however, think a lot of the more trendy clothes are cute, but I don't like the trendy culture....so it can work both ways.

I'm sure I've just talked myself in circles, but as I said, I have very mixed feelings about clothing and images projected versus who a person "really" is.

If you've read this far, congratulations on enduring another one of my rambles! Now, I'm going to go change into a Monty Python tshirt DH got me, and a pair of black yoga pants...what does that say about me?

Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
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#96 of 117 Old 02-17-2006, 12:50 PM
 
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Lucysmama-
I love your son's clothes. Thats definitely the style I gravitate towards for my son as well.
take care
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#97 of 117 Old 02-17-2006, 01:29 PM
 
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nak

[QUOTE=poxybat]i dont think changing clothing styles is a precaution... i see your arguement but i think it may be harmful to assume you can control the thoughts of dangerous people with something as minor as a wardrobe change, im not trying to minimize your concerns. i feel like maybe some women would think that and it may let them sit in denial and think that children who are victimized did something(or in this case, wore something) that made them targets and thus victims. women tend to do that more, they try to distance themselves, so they can think it can never happen to them. dont dress your dc's 'innocently' and think that equals safety. read 'protecting the gift' and empower your child. [QUOTE]

it's not that i believe that if i don't dress my child like that she is automaticlly safe, but it is one thing i CAN do to try and protect her, i can also teach her the proper terminology for her privatyes b/c one of the other things pedophiles look for is kids who have cutesy nicknames for their privates. do i think this means my children can'r eb victums? i am not that naive, but i will do what i can and i will check out the book.


dangerous? by this logic then breastfeeding in public is just as dangerous.
as far as that most likely it wouldn't be dangrous per say, but it would increase the chances. i mean you get comments hurled at you by just walking down a street i see no need to increase the likely hood of rude comments and potential rapists. i mean not that it would be my fault for drtessing a certain way, it's always their fault, but i live by keeping in mind that those people do exist and yes i am wiling to adjust my behavior accordingly. like my kids can play naked in the backyard or at a friends house, but i won't lwt them naked in the front yard. why increase the rixk?



[QUOTE]do you have an example of 'cups' on toddlers clothing? im having a hard time picturing it. i dont really understand how breast=sex somehow but im trying hard to see the argument... i saw a cute shirt that could be construed as having breasts but i didnt see it as sexual and had a really hard time understanding how anyone who isnt a pediophile could. and i dont understand the 'drawing attention' thing, do you think children also should not wear bright coloured shirts? they definitely draw attention to the chest. im thinking it may be a cultural thing. to me there are nice clothes and ugly clothes, warm weather clothes and cold weather clothes... i dont understand what 'sexy' clothes are. im not turned on by fabric [QUOTE]
words written across the butt, or triaangl biking type tops/


[QUOTE] im feeling the belly button love too[QUOTE] i love belly buttons on evreyone


[QUOTE]what *woman* would be happy with undies stuffed in their little tushies? now toddler thongs are very confusing. i cant see anyone wanting a fulltime wedgie let alone a toddler. i so cant understand thongs. and it seems everytime i go looking for maternity underwear all i can find is maternity thongs. the very thought just blows my mind. im huge and pregnant and cranky and i add a wedgie and cold buttcheeks. no thanks! as you can see im biased anti thong though...
after some thought i think perhaps they have them for very small girls in dance class. wasnt there a thread about one mom finding her dd's thongs and turns out she needed them for dance class...

QUOTE]
yep on the thongs so horrible i hte them.

courtney

Courtney and Cree, baby made 3, added one more then there were 4, sakes alive, then we had 5, another in the mix now we have 6!

A Momma in love with her Little Women-Jewel Face, Jo Jo Bean, June Bug, and Sweet Coraline.

 

 

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#98 of 117 Old 02-17-2006, 09:51 PM
 
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Boy, I disagree with you on so many levels here it's hard to know where to start. Good thing I just got a fresh glass of wine.


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Originally Posted by poxybat


dangerous? by this logic then breastfeeding in public is just as dangerous [as going topless].
Let's start here. Do you really not see a vast difference between strolling around topless and nursing in public? C'mon. Conjure up an image of, oh, let's say Bo Derek jogging topless along the surf. Now imagine some mom on a park bench with her baby nuzzled in her lap, with maybe a fraction of an inch of skin showing. Maybe it's just the bi in me, but I'm seeing one as far more inclined to stir up a sexual thought or two.


Quote:
i dont really understand how breast=sex somehow
See above . . .


Quote:
i dont understand what 'sexy' clothes are. im not turned on by fabric.
Maybe it's like that old saying about pornography . . . how does it go? I don't know how to define it, but I know it when I see it. I'm guessing you really do know what sexy clothes are when you see them. Think Beyonce; think Brittney Spears; think the slutty girls you weren't allowed to hang out with in high school; think how you dressed when you were trying to get the attention of that someone special (or just special enough for that night). I'm an old married trout now so the only sexy clothes I wear are hidden under my milk stained tee shirts and Spaghettio smeared jeans. (And yes, I do wear thongs. If you get the kind with the really teeny tiny string in the back you hardly know they're there.)


Quote:
it doesnt really matter what anyone wears when it comes down to it...
Yeah, tell that to Madonna next time she decides to reinvent herself.
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#99 of 117 Old 02-17-2006, 10:16 PM
 
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Really smart idea those cloths : Let the perverts have something else to look forward to SICK SICK SICK
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#100 of 117 Old 02-18-2006, 08:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by frowningfrog
Im talking about real children who are wearing these clothes and we live in a different time and little girls should NOT be wearing these things.
In a town in my state a commuter train worker was fired of statements he continuously made to a woman and her 7 yr old child....the child was NOT wearing anything out of the ordinary and this man continued to tell her mother what a nice Arse her DD had and how he would love to "tap" that.
So I only hope that the women who DO find these clothing cute and hilarious to adorn their children with think twice. I do not eve nwant to tink of what may have happened if that man had not been fired.

thats all...sorry like I said I do not mean to offend anyone ...this is MY opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovemy2ds
Really smart idea those cloths Let the perverts have something else to look forward to SICK SICK SICK
So if a woman gets raped, it's her fault for wearing a short skirt? Because you're using the same logic.

I don't care if that little girl had been wearing pants and long-sleeved turtlenecks, or if she had been wearing a string bikini. IT IS NOT HER FAULT, and IT IS NOT HER PARENT'S FAULT that the guy was making disgusting comments about that. Sex crimes are generally commited for power and control, not for sexual satisfaction. Any person who would make such a disgusting comment about a child is very, very sick. The way that the girl was dressed has absolutely nothing to do with it.
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#101 of 117 Old 02-18-2006, 11:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen
Unless . . . does anyone really know anything about how the typical pedophile operates? My entire base of knowledge on the topic comes from Law and Order: SVU. Maybe pedophiles are so into little kids they get off more on little kids looking really little kiddish. If so, maybe dressing our kids like little grown ups is their best protection????
Not too sure you can generalise about paedophiles any more than you can about any other group, some probably get off on sexualised kids, some on innocents, some on the skater look, some on the preppy look, just like people of "normal" sexualities. As many of us learned recently, some are into diapers, there is no way of knowing WHAT specifically will attract a paedophile to a particular kid and blaming the clothes is just another way of sticking your head in the sand and thinking "it can't happen to me".

nothing more to say I guess :
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#102 of 117 Old 02-18-2006, 01:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Calidris
. . . blaming the clothes is just another way of sticking your head in the sand and thinking "it can't happen to me".
It's SO scary having a kid. As if I don't spend enough time obsessing about potential fatal diseases, head injuries from the coffee table, car wrecks, poisonous spiders, choking on grapes, falling out the bedroom window, is that a bump or a brain tumor? Now I have to worry about fashion!

Seriously, I don't worry so much about my son's wardrobe attracting attention (as I said earlier, he is GORGEOUS in a Speedo); what scares me more is his personality. Heading off topic here, but I have raised him (by example) to be incredibly friendly. He says hi to everyone he sees. He'll give a kiss or a hug to a stranger. It makes me very conflicted, because I want him to be friendly and open and loving, but I also want him to be safe.

How do we strike that balance?
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#103 of 117 Old 02-19-2006, 12:48 AM
 
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Originally Posted by littleaugustbaby
So if a woman gets raped, it's her fault for wearing a short skirt? Because you're using the same logic.

.
it's not her fault, but it is reality. it sucks but these people ARE OUT THERE.they are out there and they are more inclined to go for women or children dressed a certain way. i mean they even interviewed pedophiles and straight for the horses mouth said that they are MORE APT (those being the key words, so it's not always) to go after a child that is dressed in a certain manner. facts of it. is it the child's fault or the parents fault??? NO because if there was n'ty little girls (or women) dressed like this THEY WOULD STILL DO IT , but you can decrease your odds. not by m,uch i suppose but you know what when it comes to MY precious daughter i will do EVERYTHING i can to protect her. so no not her fault not the parents b/c it would still happen if no one was dressed like that, but as long as people are dressed like that it's like a zebra among horses.

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#104 of 117 Old 02-19-2006, 01:12 AM
 
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jewelysmommy I agree. If you have a few kids over for a birthday say and you go to the beach you have no idea of who could be watching. If by chance a pediphile is looking ick! Who is more likly to get looked at more, depending on the pediphiles bent. The girls in the itty bitty bikini /boy in the spedo (Sorry Heffernhyphen but I think thats reality) or the kids coverd up more by a sunsuit, trunks, t-shirt etc. Sadly I think it's the less coverd kids.
I hate the thought of some sicko drooling over my kids, so if those people are around there gonna get less to drool over.
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#105 of 117 Old 02-19-2006, 01:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by eminer
Do people really grow up faster for lack of primary colored overall outfits?
But...but...but... I love primary colored outfits. I'd buy kid clothes for myself if they made them in my size!
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#106 of 117 Old 02-19-2006, 04:00 AM
 
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Originally Posted by joandsarah77
If by chance a pediphile is looking ick! Who is more likly to get looked at more, depending on the pediphiles bent. The girls in the itty bitty bikini /boy in the spedo (Sorry Heffernhyphen but I think thats reality) or the kids coverd up more by a sunsuit, trunks, t-shirt etc. Sadly I think it's the less coverd kids.
Again, crimes of a sexual nature are generally committed for a feeling of power, NOT for a feeling of sexual pleasure. Pedophiles are not looking for children wearing bikinis, they're looking for children. Period.

This line of thinking is the same line of "reasoning" that people use to justify not allowing gay scout leaders. Because people are afraid that they'll lust after helpless children.

In the majority of cases where children are sexually abused, the crime is committed by someone that the child knows - and that person is generally someone who is in a supervisory role over the child (parent, teacher, babysitter, etc.), and about 60% of rapes and sexual assualts occur within the home. As many as 80% of sex crime perpetrators have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder.

This isn't a case of someone seeing a little girl in a short skirt and thinking that it's sexy. It's a serious mental issue that goes far beyond that. I think that when people assume that their children are safter because of the way that they're dressed, then it creates a false sense of security. And I think that it's pretty alarmist to say that someone is going to be more of a target for a sex crime (or any kind of violent crime, for that matter) because of the way that they're dressed. And it just smacks of victim blaming, and it's disgusting. It really reads no differently than, "she was wearing a short skirt, she must have wanted it, so she deserved it".

It is no different, IMO, than to assume that a woman is a slut because of the way that she dresses. Which is misogynistic and ridiculous in the first place. But it gets worse when we start trying to indoctrinate little girls into that same mold, making judgement calls about them based on what they're wearing. Our society gives women enough to deal with when it comes to sexuality and body issues. We don't need to be adding more fuel to the fire.
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#107 of 117 Old 02-19-2006, 04:19 AM
 
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"she was wearing a short skirt, she must have wanted it, so she deserved it".
Never said that, never implied that, never thought that. How could an innocent child want or deserve to be the victom of a pedephile. That IMO is sick!

I guess we can't know the mind of a pedephile, but I still think giving them less to see is better. God gave clothes as a covering for a reason.
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#108 of 117 Old 02-19-2006, 04:22 AM
 
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Are you really trying to bring God into this?
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#109 of 117 Old 02-19-2006, 04:29 AM
 
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Sure why not Some of us here are Christians. So yer when I choose clothes God does come into it.
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#110 of 117 Old 02-19-2006, 10:11 AM
 
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Originally Posted by littleaugustbaby
Again, crimes of a sexual nature are generally committed for a feeling of power, NOT for a feeling of sexual pleasure. Pedophiles are not looking for children wearing bikinis, they're looking for children. Period.

This line of thinking is the same line of "reasoning" that people use to justify not allowing gay scout leaders. Because people are afraid that they'll lust after helpless children.

In the majority of cases where children are sexually abused, the crime is committed by someone that the child knows - and that person is generally someone who is in a supervisory role over the child (parent, teacher, babysitter, etc.), and about 60% of rapes and sexual assualts occur within the home. As many as 80% of sex crime perpetrators have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder.

This isn't a case of someone seeing a little girl in a short skirt and thinking that it's sexy. It's a serious mental issue that goes far beyond that. I think that when people assume that their children are safter because of the way that they're dressed, then it creates a false sense of security. And I think that it's pretty alarmist to say that someone is going to be more of a target for a sex crime (or any kind of violent crime, for that matter) because of the way that they're dressed. And it just smacks of victim blaming, and it's disgusting. It really reads no differently than, "she was wearing a short skirt, she must have wanted it, so she deserved it".

It is no different, IMO, than to assume that a woman is a slut because of the way that she dresses. Which is misogynistic and ridiculous in the first place. But it gets worse when we start trying to indoctrinate little girls into that same mold, making judgement calls about them based on what they're wearing. Our society gives women enough to deal with when it comes to sexuality and body issues. We don't need to be adding more fuel to the fire.
Exactly. I don't dress my children based on "protecting them" from pedophiles. I protect my children by watching them, knowing who their friends, friends parents, neighbors are. Pedophiles choose children based on availability and because they are children...not because they are dressed in "provocative" clothing.

I personally don't dress my kids in "provocative" clothing because I think children are rushed out of childhood in general. They don't need to dress like teens or college students when they are 4, 6, 8 and 11. Finding comfortable children's clothes, especially for my dd, has been a challenge for me since she left size 6 (so when she was 5). I don't notice the same shift in boys clothing. My dd has always loved comfortable dresses, leggings and t shirts. We made our foray into Limited Too last year as she had been admiring some of the sparkly shirts. You know what, she didn't wear them anymore than her other shirts and she didn't like the overstimulation of the store. It's like anything in parenting, following the child's lead.

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#111 of 117 Old 02-19-2006, 10:45 PM
 
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But...but...can we just go back to THIS http://www.strasburgchildren.com/grshse.html

and at least reach a consensus on something? That this is just plain WRONG??? Oh man, that poor boy. Someone rescue him from the pageant circuit!!!

Mama to DS (8) and DD (7) Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement.

 

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#112 of 117 Old 02-20-2006, 01:40 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joandsarah77
Sure why not Some of us here are Christians. So yer when I choose clothes God does come into it.
I think this might be the source of a lot of the conflict in this discussion. As a Christian my view on clothing types and modesty is different then that of others as I would expect it to be. And I don't expect non-christians to understand/agree with my view on this topic.

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#113 of 117 Old 02-20-2006, 03:27 AM
 
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Quote:
I don't expect non-christians to understand/agree with my view on this topic.
Oh yes, I don't expect understanding or agreement, but it is one of my reasons.

As for http://www.strasburgchildren.com/grshse.html who buys that stuff maybe for a garden party with the queen
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#114 of 117 Old 02-20-2006, 08:31 AM
 
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Yuck!!! I've not seen anything like this... but then my little one is still in that stage between baby and toddler. And most of her clothes are given to us by granparents.

Yes... who designs these?
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#115 of 117 Old 02-20-2006, 03:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joandsarah77
I'll tell you who, my neighbor. The one who turned us in for child abuse because our parenting styles are about as different as our clothing styles. My husband and I like to joke that they won't let their kid out of his bedroom unless he's in a coordinated outfit with French words on it. Meanwhile, our wild child is in the front yard in a dirty jammie top and cloth diaper.
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#116 of 117 Old 02-22-2006, 05:06 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen
Let's start here. Do you really not see a vast difference between strolling around topless and nursing in public? C'mon. Conjure up an image of, oh, let's say Bo Derek jogging topless along the surf. Now imagine some mom on a park bench with her baby nuzzled in her lap, with maybe a fraction of an inch of skin showing. Maybe it's just the bi in me, but I'm seeing one as far more inclined to stir up a sexual thought or two.
well of course theres a difference. but i guess im comming from the angle of breasts not being inherently sexy no matter what theyre doing.
the image of bo derek made me thankful for bras, i dont know her or what cup size she is but i cant imagine running topless. ow. its all in the eye of the beholder i guess. what if the person seeing the woman being rediculously descreet is a lactation fetishist? does that make breastfeeding sexy? im not a fan of nursing descreetly so im not really able to pull off the 'fraction of an inch of skin' look but even with boobs flapping in the wind i certaintly dont think thats sexy... this reminds me of my friend. she was nursing her distractable newly toddler daughter and forgot to put her breasts away. then she went outside to play with her daughter in the front yard. eventually she figured out why everyone was gawking at her... maybe some people would but i dont find that sexy...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen
I'm guessing you really do know what sexy clothes are when you see them. Think Beyonce; think Brittney Spears; think the slutty girls you weren't allowed to hang out with in high school; think how you dressed when you were trying to get the attention of that someone special (or just special enough for that night).
well i guess this explains it... i wasnt banned from seeing anyone based on fashion choices, my mom didnt make stuff like that an issue. i think beyonce and britney spears wear alot of clothes, well i mean they wear long pants, underwear isnt hanging out, ect. and wow i dont recall ever having a consious thought of wearing something special for anyone's attention. im serious... i may run around in next to nothing sometimes(when im not huge and pregnant) but im deffinitely not doing it for anything other than my own comfort.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen
Yeah, tell that to Madonna next time she decides to reinvent herself.
my issue is with that womans music not her fashion sense.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Calidris
there is no way of knowing WHAT specifically will attract a paedophile to a particular kid and blaming the clothes is just another way of sticking your head in the sand and thinking "it can't happen to me".


Quote:
Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen
Seriously, I don't worry so much about my son's wardrobe attracting attention (as I said earlier, he is GORGEOUS in a Speedo); what scares me more is his personality. Heading off topic here, but I have raised him (by example) to be incredibly friendly. He says hi to everyone he sees. He'll give a kiss or a hug to a stranger. It makes me very conflicted, because I want him to be friendly and open and loving, but I also want him to be safe.
How do we strike that balance?
there is a section in 'protecting the gift' about teaching children to talk to strangers. its awesome... i must sound like i own stock in this book seriously though i think everyone should read it, its all about protecting your children. https://www.gavindebecker.com/books-ptg.cfm

Quote:
Originally Posted by joandsarah77
God gave clothes as a covering for a reason.
if god had intended us to wear clothes we would have been born in them

Quote:
Originally Posted by littleaugustbaby
Again, crimes of a sexual nature are generally committed for a feeling of power, NOT for a feeling of sexual pleasure. Pedophiles are not looking for children wearing bikinis, they're looking for children. Period.

This line of thinking is the same line of "reasoning" that people use to justify not allowing gay scout leaders. Because people are afraid that they'll lust after helpless children.

In the majority of cases where children are sexually abused, the crime is committed by someone that the child knows - and that person is generally someone who is in a supervisory role over the child (parent, teacher, babysitter, etc.), and about 60% of rapes and sexual assualts occur within the home. As many as 80% of sex crime perpetrators have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder.

This isn't a case of someone seeing a little girl in a short skirt and thinking that it's sexy. It's a serious mental issue that goes far beyond that. I think that when people assume that their children are safter because of the way that they're dressed, then it creates a false sense of security. And I think that it's pretty alarmist to say that someone is going to be more of a target for a sex crime (or any kind of violent crime, for that matter) because of the way that they're dressed. And it just smacks of victim blaming, and it's disgusting. It really reads no differently than, "she was wearing a short skirt, she must have wanted it, so she deserved it".

It is no different, IMO, than to assume that a woman is a slut because of the way that she dresses. Which is misogynistic and ridiculous in the first place. But it gets worse when we start trying to indoctrinate little girls into that same mold, making judgement calls about them based on what they're wearing. Our society gives women enough to deal with when it comes to sexuality and body issues. We don't need to be adding more fuel to the fire.


Quote:
Originally Posted by joandsarah77
As for http://www.strasburgchildren.com/grshse.html who buys that stuff maybe for a garden party with the queen
ahhh! make it stop!!!

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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#117 of 117 Old 02-22-2006, 06:13 AM
 
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All right, I've read through this whole thing, and ....

Wow. Just. Wow.

The judgemental attitudes from some of you really have me wondering how "open-minded" you claim you are raising your children.

"Hootchie", "Skanky", and "Slutty" in the way you women are using them are derrogatory, offensive and down right mean.

A few momma's here have made really good points on *their opinions* both for and against these type of clothing. But I do not and will not be open to someones opinion who insists on using slut, skank, or hootch as part of their reason as to why they don't like the clothing.

Those mama's are sexualizing the clothes themselves by calling it skanky, slutty, and hootchie and then claim that others will view it as such. Well, you are in essance encouraging others to view it that way because YOU are viewing it that way.


**Bolds and inderlines my emphasis**


Quote:
Originally Posted by eminer
Well, I honestly think that these issues have more to do with your perception of adult attire and sexuality and the social context than with age appropriateness. I never went "clubbing" and would consider it degrading to go around wearing clothes for the sole purpose of turning other people on. I do sometimes wear skimpy clothes to the beach, however. Why? Because I love feeling the breeze and sand and water on my skin. Because I feel good and sexy in the best, most meaningful sense: beautiful, unashamed in my body, unashamed to enjoy it. It took me a long time to get there, partly because I heard comments like those in this thread and developed negative impressions and feelings. *snip* Bikinis aren't what hurt girls and their developing sexuality. And underwear should follow the contour of our bodies. When my dd wears briefs, they slip down under her little belly and the extra fabric bunches up. She likes them anyway, and I support her. But what would be wrong with underwear shaped more like her? And um, shirts that show her cute little belly button...?!
:

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucysmama
I must say I am totally shocked by how many people think a child's navel exposed in a swimsuit is wrong or inappropriate. Is this really the message we want to send our kids? That their navels are somehow sexual and we must cover them for fear that a hypothetical predator may find it arousing? I just do not get this.
*snip*
I think the problem here is that lots of people associate a style of clothing with a certain ethnicity, a certain socio-economic background, a certain sexual fetish, a lack of religion perhaps, a lack of moral fiber maybe, and they find it inappropriate to see a child (or their child) associated with this. This reeks of prejudism to me, not in the racial sense, but the literal-judge-a-person-by-their-cover mentality that I hope not to pass on to my kids.
: :

Quote:
Originally Posted by genna
Well as far as little girls clothes- I think there is a difference between a bikini and a 2 piece bathing suit. A bikini has the triangle top and skimpy bottom, a two piece has a straight across full coverage top and appropriate bottoms that cover everything.
I'm sorry, I know you are trying to decern between two styles, but I just have to say it... a bikini is two pieces of cloth yes? That covers the same portions that the bathing suit "2 piece" does? Both of them are 2 pieces, end of story, some just like a different style than what your 2 piece style it. That does not mean that bikini's are different type of bathing suit at all. What is it called then? A duo piece if not a straight 2 piece? I'm sorry, I'm trying to throw in a little humor here, not sure if it's getting across what with my mood of the overall thread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by joandsarah77
God gave clothes as a covering for a reason.
So, why were Adam and Eve born naked? And why did they only use "clothes" after they got thrown out of the Garden? Apparently they were perfectly OK to go clothes free in the Garden. That doesn't tell me that God intended us to wear clothes... IMO...

GREAT MOM to dd (5) and )ds( [sept 26 2006]
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