I am astonished at the amount of mamas here on this board that use leashes. I really do not think this goes along with ap/nfl philosophies and would really like some feedback from all you mamas.
I think it would be a good idea to get one for my DD because she insists on walking when we are in a store. She wont hold my hand and takes off running all the time, so I dont get much shopping done. I havent got one though because im afraid of the looks I would get.
I don't use a leash, but don't have a problem with them. I have 4 kids. And sometimes my back is turned for a moment dealing with one of them. I'd rather have a toddler on a leash than be attending his/her funeral.
This topic has come up time and time again here and gets quite heated. It might do better if you simply searched for one of the old threads if you want to read different opinions. This particular topic can get pretty ugly.
But why do you feel it's restraining a child "like a criminal", to get "control"?
I'm not sure that criminals are put on leashes, and I'm not sure how it's any more control than using a sling or holding a hand. In fact, I feel it is having *less* control, and allowing *more* freedom than a sling or holding a hand tight enough to keep a child from running off or being stolen.
So what is it about it that makes you think the thoughts of "criminals" and "control"?
Originally Posted by l_olive
This topic has come up time and time again here and gets quite heated. It might do better if you simply searched for one of the old threads if you want to read different opinions. This particular topic can get pretty ugly.
--Olive
The last time it was discussed, it was actually quite lovely.
By the way, I *have* one and was a child whose mother used one, but I have never used it with my son. I however agree with the idea of them. So don't assume that everyone who agrees with the use of them actually means they use them.
I think there are some situations where they could be very beneficial, such as at amusement parks and crowded street festivals. I have a friend with 6 kids and 3 are under 3yo. She uses leashes. It's better to make sure your child stays close to you through a passive means than lose your child and possibly never find them again, IMO.
i don't think they are evil per se, but don't see the point in them as I think they give a false sense of security. it would be soooo EZ for some creep to unhook the end of the leash and be off with your DC at an amusement park or other bz place - since i understand the point is to not have to watch your child all the time. someone could even hook something else sorta heavy on the end and when you looked around 60 or 90 seconds later DC would be gone in the crowds and you wouldn't even know what direction.
Maybe I"m overprotective, but i prefer to never take my eyes off of my DD.
I was thinking about this the other day. We don't have one; but I put my youngest (2 1/2) in a sling or carrier EVERY time we are somewhere busy or crowded. Essentially I'm using a baby carrier the came way someone uses a leash. Sure there are times when I use the carrier b/c my child asks to be carried; but I use it just as much so that I don't have to worry about him running away from us or getting lost. Am I doing something "more" AP by using the carrier instead of a leash?--I don't really think there is any difference. In fact what I'm doing may be worse when there are times that my son wants to walk but I put him in the carrier b/c we are in a crowded space. He might be happier with a leash on being able to walk on his own.
I don't see a problem with a leash or harness. I appreciate those of you that are able to watch your children like hawks, leave when things go awry, etc. But what about those of us with lots of kids? Where leaving isn't a possibility nor is it fair to the older kids? Where the younger kid is simply a runner?
I don't think that's it's against AP either? I mean as long as it is used appropriately. I think it is just a safety issue sometimes and I am keeping my child and if fact all my children safe. Anyone have to go running after a breakaway and leave your other kids? Or watch your child narrowly miss getting lost, hit by a car, etc?
Now, this might sound inflammatory, and really it's not. But I remember reading something that said, "What do you call a new parent whose baby sleeps through the night?" Are they better parents? have a better technique than you? More disciplined? Nope, just lucky, that's all. Those that have this area under control may just be more fortunate to have a kid that cooperates, only have 1-2 kids to watch, etc.
Now they have these cute backpacks the kids wear with a tether attached. My 3 year old saw someone with one and have been bugging for one all week. Funny, right now I don't really need one, he's pretty good at staying close, freaks out if he even thinks I am going somewhere without him, and now he wants a tether
Originally Posted by Attached Mama
woof woof - that's what I always think...
Do you relate it to a dog's leash in a negative way?
I relate it to a dog's leash in a positive way.
I grew up with Alaskan Malamutes. They are dogs who know their minds. They will "obey" you if they want to do whatever it is you're asking them to do.
We used leashes with them b/c we loved them and didn't want them to run away, didn't want them to be stolen, and didn't want them to be hit by cars.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attached Mama
i don't think they are evil per se, but don't see the point in them as I think they give a false sense of security. it would be soooo EZ for some creep to unhook the end of the leash and be off with your DC at an amusement park or other bz place - since i understand the point is to not have to watch your child all the time. someone could even hook something else sorta heavy on the end and when you looked around 60 or 90 seconds later DC would be gone in the crowds and you wouldn't even know what direction.
Maybe I"m overprotective, but i prefer to never take my eyes off of my DD.
Have you held one of the harnesses in your hand? Have you tried to clip or unclip it? The one I own is rather difficult to clasp and unclasp. In addition, the child would notice. In addition, the strap isn't *that* long.
I have seen a leash that on the child's end is a backpack with a waist harness. I think this makes it "friendly" looking to passersby, and gives the child a job (holding his/her diaper, snacks, toys, etc.). We are planning on getting one when DS gets older.
I don't think it will mean I am less of a parent, or keeping less of an eye on DS. it just helps me be the best parent I can be.
I used to use one with DD, and I loved it. I think that they can be a really good thing, if used properly.
DD was a runner, and whenever we went on long outings, it was uncomfortable for her to hold my hand for long periods of time when she wanted to walk. The harness was our compromise, and she really liked wearing it. It worked for us when we needed it, so we used it. I don't really see leashes as anything different than strollers or slings.
Originally Posted by mollyeilis
Do you relate it to a dog's leash in a negative way?
I relate it to a dog's leash in a positive way.
I grew up with Alaskan Malamutes. They are dogs who know their minds. They will "obey" you if they want to do whatever it is you're asking them to do.
We used leashes with them b/c we loved them and didn't want them to run away, didn't want them to be stolen, and didn't want them to be hit by cars.
nope, not negative, just funny - that's why i put the laughing smilie
Have you held one of the harnesses in your hand? Have you tried to clip or unclip it? The one I own is rather difficult to clasp and unclasp. In addition, the child would notice. In addition, the strap isn't *that* long.
maybe with an AP parent things are different, but I've often seen a kid several feet away with one and the parent has their back turned on the kid *intently* occupied with something else because they think the kid is secure enough to not watch them. also, i know a lot of toddlers that would happily go with any stranger. and if it would be hard to unhook it, I am sure someone would find it a sinch to cut the leash. I don't have a problem with people using them - if they don't think that it means they don't have to watch their child at all.
For us, personally, it is more attached for me to use the tether than to let him run away from me.
He refuses to sit in a cart, will push and kick if I try to hold him or put him in the carrier. My DH is in the Navy so if I need to grocery shop, leaving him at home is not an option when my DH is out to sea.
So, instead of letting him run around and get lost, he is walking, but still attached to me.
FWIW
I have to admit that when I didn't have a very spirited small child, I thought using a leash on a child was unnecessary and bordering on cruel. However, since I now have a little one who is a runner, it has become a regular part of our outings. We do have the one that looks like a puppy, has a back pack and a tail. Maggie loved it at first, still tolerates it now, and she hasn't bolted away from me in a public place since we started using it. While I would prefer not to use it, it is a good tool for us now to keep Maggie safe until she gains some impulse control.
If you check one of the other threads, a child got snatched from a stroller. Anything can happen in the blink of an eye; we just need to prepare as much as possible.
Originally Posted by mamachandi
I am astonished at the amount of mamas here on this board that use leashes. I really do not think this goes along with ap/nfl philosophies and would really like some feedback from all you mamas.
WOW! What an AP, gentle, NON judgemental statement.
It doesn't sound lke you're really asking for opinions b/c it sounds like you've already made up your mind. AP is about attached parenting, not doing what 'looks best' or fits the 'mold'. I do what is best for each of my children, leashes or not.
Originally Posted by shelbean91
WOW! What an AP, gentle, NON judgemental statement.
It doesn't sound lke you're really asking for opinions b/c it sounds like you've already made up your mind. AP is about attached parenting, not doing what 'looks best' or fits the 'mold'. I do what is best for each of my children, leashes or not.
I subscribe to attachment parenting and natural family living. Hmmm,I never said I didn't judge. we all do it is a natural human trait. I can't help it, when I see a child in a leash i think of a dog,donkey, horse whatever. or like a criminal having to be controled and chained up. I don't see how that is loving, ...putting them on a level with animals & criminals???what does that do to their psyche? their self esteem? their sense of trust and accomplishment? slings,carriers,hand holding this is all done out of love. human touch and closeness,bonding. it is done the world over. I don't see in other cultures people putting leashes on their children. it just seems lazy. My opinion thats all,it may be judgmental but so what
.I just really want to see how many mamas who subscribe to ap/nfl also justify the leash.
Originally Posted by ozzyemm
If you check one of the other threads, a child got snatched from a stroller. Anything can happen in the blink of an eye; we just need to prepare as much as possible.
I agree - that's what I mean - I never take my eyes off her unless I"m still physically touching her.
I had a leash/harness for all three of my kids. My oldest, now 17, was really active, and most times, I couldn't keep up with him. And now, with my youngest, age 3.... well, let's just say I have bad knees, and don't think he should stay home simply because I can't run after him anymore. This arrangement has saved him from being hit by a car more than once.
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