Any toddlers with NO patience? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 03-08-2003, 03:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, my 2 y.o. has lots of patience and will perservere over puzzles or putting clothes on. Sure, he'll whine a bit but will NOT accept help and must complete!:

My friend is actually really worried about her 2 y.o. daughter because she has NO patience AT ALL. She's incredibly bright and verbal but if any "task" requires time, she'll throw it down. No puzzle kind of toys. No clothes at all. She also clings to Mommy 24/7 in the house. She doesn't like outside b/c it's messy and you have to wear a snowsuit. She won't paint or playdough b/c it's messy. She'll play at playgroups, but at home is 100% Mommy and Me stuff. Mom can't even walk out of the room or go potty w/out a "helper."

So, she's getting concerned. I'm sure it's fine, but wondered if anyone else had a similar toddler?

Thanks!
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#2 of 7 Old 03-08-2003, 04:18 PM
 
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I have one that is somewhere inbetween, but leaning towards the impatient side. He doesn't cling to me 24/7 at home, though, and does have plenty of times of independent play. But he gets frustrated very easily - if he's putting shapes into the sorter and it is crooked and doesn't push through, he lets out a frustrated grunt/growl sound and starts to get upset. If he wants me to pick him up, sometimes I have to ask him to wait just a few seconds (if I'm about to drain boiling pasta water or something) and depending on his mood, he might give me a few seconds, or he might have a meltdown, insisting that I pick him right NOW!

I consider him to be impatient, but that's probably an unfair assessment on my part. He won't be 2 until May.
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#3 of 7 Old 03-08-2003, 05:11 PM
 
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I think patience, like appreciation, needs to be gently taught. Some people have natural "supplies" of both but most need some gentle persuasion.

I went through this phase with my daughter and we learned a little trick: when she was getting impatient I would tell her to "stop, breathe and think" and I made up little hand movements to symbolize all three. Usually that would get her distracted from her frustration enough to then start again more calmly.

The most important thing is for the mother herself to contain her patience level!!!

Pretty soon your friend's daughter will take pride in "I did it myself!"

Everything else you describe - her reluctance to get messy, her wanting to cling to mommy even in the bathroom, is totally normal.
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#4 of 7 Old 03-09-2003, 12:11 AM
 
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My daughter is highly impatient and has been since birth. It's been a painful and sometimes un-AP-feeling journey trying to teach her some patience, but I cannot be her minion 24/7 so we keep working on it. She tends to be really happy in busy, social situations and doesn't cling much at all at those times, but at home she can be so demanding it just makes me want to pull my hair out. Now that she's 2, she's occasionally too busy playing on her own to accompany me to the bathroom every single trip, and I've insisted on showering daily since she was 1. But here she is now, crawling on me and trying to type, so I'll sign off now....

Carol :
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#5 of 7 Old 03-09-2003, 01:30 AM
 
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I think I inadvertantly instilled some patience in my son! I am the MOST impatient adult, and since ds was born, I've made overt comments to him (just to prevent me from freaking out) such as, "Okay, we need to wait on this line. Mommy's being really patient until it's our turn." Or, "I can't find the book yet, but I'm being patient and looking for it until I can." Rather than just giving up, which is what I would've done before he was born. I think if I didn't make the conscious effort to be patient, I would freak out right in front of him, and he'd learn my bad habit for sure! Well, by the time ds was 2, I would catch him saying things like, "I can't get the book back on the shelf, but I'm being patient until I can." Pretty cool. So he actually is much more patient than I!
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#6 of 7 Old 03-09-2003, 02:06 AM
 
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Some toddlers have patience? Wow.
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#7 of 7 Old 03-09-2003, 02:34 AM
 
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Hah ha! What Dodo said! There is a great episode of Blue's Clues all about frustration. Steve tells the kids to "Stop. Breathe. And Think." It's great advice for many adults too. My 22 month old dd has days when she has zero patience and days when she will stick with something for seemingly hours. I try like heck not to show frustration even when it gets the best of me. I think they learn how to cope by watching us. It takes time though and I don't think they really glom onto the rewards of patience until they are about 3 or even 4. My stepson still hasn't got much patience or attention to detail but it's not really stopping him in life. I say wait it out and keep playing games that involve patience like sprouting some seeds together or making cookies. Show that waiting for things makes them even better when they finally happen.

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