throwing everything off the highchair! grrrrr! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 03-08-2003, 03:26 PM - Thread Starter
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Ok, so I know the kid is just being 15 months old. I know that part of the fun is feeding the dog (we have started putting her outside during mealtimes) and part of the fun is watching mom react (I've tried ignoring but it doesn't seem to help). For some reason this behavior pushes my buttons, and I don't know how to react in a way that will get through to him...

I've tried telling him that his food belongs on the tray, tapping the tray with my finger while I do this. Guess what? The kid will fling his bowl, spoon, cup, food off the tray and then look at me all serious like while he taps his finger on the tray. Argh! It's hilariously obvious that he doesn't 'get' this strategy. He knows and uses the sign for 'all done', so he isn't trying to tell me that he's ready to get down (though I always ask him when he does this if he's done eating). I've tried telling him that when he throws things off his tray they will stay on the floor, and maybe I need to follow through with this better, but I really want him to eat! I don't want to withhold food as a disciplinary strategy. I don't want mealtimes to be negative, and that's where we're headed...

Help, mamas! I'm still so new to this toddler thing...
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#2 of 5 Old 03-08-2003, 06:37 PM
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With dd if she threw her food on the floor she just didn't get anymore. If she was hungry she would eat if she wasn't why waste food. She could throw toys on the floor (and was just as happy to do this) if she just wanted to toss stuff. After a while we would try again. Ater a few weeks she pretty much got it and we started putting 2-3 bites on her tray at a time. Once she could handle that more and more. At any time she didn't seem intrested we would take her food away and we were consistant abot not letting her play with food (ok she could feel it squish it etc but she could not waste it or make a big mess - if she played with her peas and then didn't want to eat them she still didn't get anymore until later when she was hungry enough to eat them)

This probably seems a little cruel while I am typing it but it was never done as punishment or in a mean way.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#3 of 5 Old 03-08-2003, 08:34 PM
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DS did/does the same thing. We just stopped feeding him in his highchair. He eats where ever and he doesn't throw food anymore. He is also a grazer.

It totally pushed my buttons but I tried everything from not recting to reactng to removing him frm the high chair etc. DS doesn't care that much about food and can always nurse so I figured that I wanted him to eat solids more than nurse so we came up with this solution.

Good luck to you,

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#4 of 5 Old 03-09-2003, 01:33 AM
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Yeah, I'd agree that maybe it's time to give up the high chair. It also might be time (at least for a few months) to willingly accept that your new toddler may not eat what are, by your standards, acceptable, full meals. I don't think my son ate one between the age of 15 months and 2 years old! Fortunately, at 2.5, he's an eater again! I also agree that throwing food usually means, "I'm not hungry." Don't worry- they can skip LOTS of meals as toddlers and still grow big and healthy! It's just really frustrating for the moms.
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#5 of 5 Old 03-09-2003, 02:51 AM
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My dd ate standing up at the kitchen counter on her stepstool for about 2 months at the height of the highchair wars. Now she will eat either way. I use a bowl that sticks down to the counter or tray and I never give her so much that she can wreck the joint if I turn my back for a second. We also got her a small table and chair from Ikea and put a plastic table cloth on it. Sometimes she eats there but nothing sloppy. The highchair is the battlefield. Change the venue. It sometimes works. Good luck. I know it's a real button-pusher for me when dd wastes food.

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