Teaching a toddler to hold your hand? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 06-17-2006, 01:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd gets very upset if I try to hold her hand and walk with her next to me. She does not run off but she just doesn't want to hold my hand. I wonder is there an age when they learn how or want to hold on to Mama when we are doing things like crossing the street???
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#2 of 10 Old 06-17-2006, 01:58 PM
 
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I'm not sure. I know my 18 month old is the same way. He throws a fit if I try to hold his hand--he wants his independence. I think maybe around age 2 it will get better. My older son usually doesn't have any problem with it. ETA: If he doesn't want to hold my hand he either gets held, put in a sling, or our stroller (depending on the situation).
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#3 of 10 Old 06-17-2006, 02:01 PM
 
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We make DS hold someone's hand while we're in parking lots and crossing the street. Sometimes he does so willingly, other times he tries to resist, but there are times we just don't give him a choice. He's 2.5 yrs old now. I think earlier, like 18 mos, he just did whatever we wanted him to, and if he refused, we'd just pick him up instead. Now DS wants to hold my hand while we're walking sometimes, and I still say "hold my hand wihle we cross the street" and he usually will...

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#4 of 10 Old 06-17-2006, 02:19 PM
 
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I started young. After she had learned how walk, when she was starting that "I want to do it all by myself" attitude (maybe 17 or 18 months?) We'd go somewhere like the mall (I liked the mall because it was busy enough that we could practice being in "public", but enclosed enough that I wouldn't have to freak if she tried to bolt). I'd put her down and we'd walk with me holding her hand. I was always sure to thank her and tell her how great it was that she was holding my hand. If she started to fight or get really upset and try to let go, I'd pick her up and carry her for a while (letting her know that if she won't hold my hand, she doesn't get to walk). When she'd get sick of that and start to wiggle lots, I'd put her down, remind her that she needs to hold mommys hand, and hold her hand. I always remind her in public to "hold my hand". She's very quick to do it. I'd say once every month maybe does she have a fit about it or not want to. So really it hasn't been that hard for me to teach her, it took maybe a week of practice at the mall (while I was 6 months pregnant) and now she's awesome about it (she's 21 months now).

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#5 of 10 Old 06-17-2006, 02:22 PM
 
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I started the second DS started walking. I made it a non-negotiable, like carseats. When we are outside walking, he holds my hand, period.
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#6 of 10 Old 06-17-2006, 02:28 PM
 
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Quote:
I started the second DS started walking. I made it a non-negotiable, like carseats. When we are outside walking, he holds my hand, period.


Exactly how I was about it. It became such a routine for her, that even when we're in our own yard and such, she still trys to hold my hand sometimes because she thinks that she needs to.

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#7 of 10 Old 06-17-2006, 02:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Melaya
I started young. After she had learned how walk, when she was starting that "I want to do it all by myself" attitude (maybe 17 or 18 months?) We'd go somewhere like the mall. I'd put her down and we'd walk with me holding her hand. I was always sure to thank her and tell her how great it was that she was holding my hand. If she started to fight or get really upset and try to let go, I'd pick her up and carry her for a while (letting her know that if she won't hold my hand, she doesn't get to walk). When she'd get sick of that and start to wiggle lots, I'd put her down, remind her that she needs to hold mommys hand, and hold her hand. I always remind her in public to "hold my hand". She's very quick to do it. I'd say once every month maybe does she have a fit about it or not want to. So really it hasn't been that hard for me to teach her, it took maybe a week of practice at the mall (while I was 6 months pregnant) and now she's awesome about it (she's 21 months now).
Yep, this is what I did. We walk down to get the mail every day together and she actually reaches for my hand now.

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#8 of 10 Old 06-17-2006, 03:31 PM
 
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DS is 19 months and in the last month or two started to understand about holding hands. He doesn't always WANT to... but in the required places (parking lot, crowded place, crossing street, etc.) it's non-negotiable. I usually just pick him up to cross a street, anyway, but if he's not cooperating I just scoop him up.

Slightly different subject, but related: we took a walk the other day, on the sidewalks near our house (I wasn't holding his hand usually) and he kept veering toward the street, wanting to explore there, and was getting really insistant and cranky about my not letting him. I decided to get down on his level (thank you, Supernanny!) and have a little chat with him about what a street is, and what a sidewalk is, and that cars go in the street, and showed him the yellow lines, etc., and that people walk on sidewalks. I pointed to the sidewalk and told him we need to stay on the path. He was much more cooperative after that! I don't know if he just hadn't really understood why he can't go in the street, or if he just appreciated the attention of the explanation. But it worked - at least for that walk!
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#9 of 10 Old 06-17-2006, 05:48 PM
 
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My dd is 21 months and still refuses to hold my hand. I always pick her up to cross streets and when we are walking I stay very close to her and on the street side of her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by reezley
I decided to get down on his level (thank you, Supernanny!) and have a little chat with him about what a street is, and what a sidewalk is, and that cars go in the street, and showed him the yellow lines, etc., and that people walk on sidewalks. I pointed to the sidewalk and told him we need to stay on the path. He was much more cooperative after that! I don't know if he just hadn't really understood why he can't go in the street, or if he just appreciated the attention of the explanation. But it worked - at least for that walk!
I've been doing that since before she started to walk. Always talking about how we're walking on the sidewalk and the sidewalk is for walking, the street is for cars, etc. She really seems to get it. She has yet to make a move towards the street.

Kate, mom to 7 year old Djuna and 4 yr old Alden. Missing our good friend Hal the cat who died June 2, 2010

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#10 of 10 Old 06-19-2006, 02:25 PM
 
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When my son started walking, I gave him the choice. "You can walk and hold my hand or I am going to carry you." And then I let him decide. Since he loves being able to walk, he complies with the hand holding. On the occasions where he tries to pull away, I simply state "If you are not going to hold my hand, then I am going to carry you." and then pick him up.

Teresa Jo
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