survey: how many moms have never spent a night away from their toddlers? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 03:01 PM
 
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Remi;s 18 months and we have no plans to spend an entire night apart anytime soon. I'm sure he'd do fine but there's no reason for it.
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#62 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 03:04 PM
 
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DS is 2.5 and I've not spent a night away from him yet, and have no plans too in the near future. I'm guessing the first time will probably be when I spend a night or two in the hospital after having DC #2 (whenever that might be).
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#63 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 03:44 PM
 
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My dd will be three at the end of the month and we haven't spent a night apart.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#64 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 03:47 PM
 
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No. I wouldn't mind, I don't think, but she would since she has to nurse at night.

My 7 year old had a sleepover at her friend's house last December or January. It was the first time I had ever been away from her overnight. I have a feeling my toddler will be younger than that when we spend a night away from her.
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#65 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 03:50 PM
 
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I've spent nights away - some on business, and some for personal. My DD is 3.5 and still nursing. She picks up right where we left off. DH and DD have a fine time together when I'm gone.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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#66 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 03:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ericswifey27
While on the subject of separation from our little ones, perhaps someone has some advice for me?

My twin sister would like me to come for the birth of her son, due in November. I want to be there with her and my new nephew to be very much, but I would not be able to bring my 2 1/2 year old son. He would stay with daddy, grandma and grandpa.

Aside from the difficulty of being away from him for a week, there is another concern: He is still nursing several times a day.

For nursing moms who have been separated, what did you do to maintain milk supply? Should I pump? How often?

I may be gone for a week, and I want my son to be assured that I will continue nursing him when I return.
At that age, I didn't need to do anything to maintain supply. But you might need to express to relieve engorgment. My 3.5 year old picks up on the nursing routines (2-3x/day) when I get back. I think you'd only need to pump at the same times you are nursing.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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#67 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 04:47 PM
 
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I'll be the odd man out.

We recently spent two nights away from our 19 month old daughter for our anniversary. My husband and I both needed to show eachother that we were able to put eachother and our marriage first for a weekend. Rachel stayed with her grandparents and had a great time. Her grandma is very pro-AP and co-slept with her both nights and during naps. Everyone did fine.
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#68 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 05:23 PM
 
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My oldest spent the night at Grandma's for the first time when he was 4. My youngest still has not spent the night away frm me, & he's almost 2.

Homeschooling mom of 2 rambunctious, loving, spectacular boys, wife to an incredible man who has been my best friend on this journey <3

 

 

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#69 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 05:36 PM
 
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Yes I've spent several nights away from my 21 month old DS. He was weaned at a year and sleeps in his own crib.

Mommy to THREE sweet boys & ONE sweet girl + a newb due in February!  I need a nap. 
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#70 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 06:33 PM
 
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Yuk, yes I had to be separated from my ds for 7 weeks while he was in NICU. It was total torture and that is enough separation for me until he leaves home I think!
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#71 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 06:39 PM
 
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I had to leave my daughter alone for two nights when I was in the hospital for the birth of my son. She was 20 months old. She did come for multiple visits a day, but she could not spend the night. I felt terrible about it, but she was with my MIL and SIL and they stayed at our house and she seemed to do just fine.

I can't imagine doing it for any other reason though. My kids drive me nuts sometimes, but I hate being away from them!!
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#72 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 06:53 PM
 
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my 19 month old dd spends one night every other week or so since she was 17 months with my mom (who lives 6 blocks from us). The first time was torture. Now I know she is fine and happy.
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#73 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 06:57 PM
 
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My DD is 3 but I still see her as a toddler. The only time I have been away at night is when she was in the NICU and had her open heart surgeries. She still nurses a lot at night and is only away 4hrs max.

Christi
DS1(12), DD(7)blessed with T21, DS2(2), and DD2 - newly arrived 1/28/11
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#74 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 07:17 PM
 
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DD is 22 months and has never spent the night away from me. When DC #2 is born in January will be our first night apart. I am dreading it already!
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#75 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 07:21 PM
 
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My 16mo has spent the night at my in-laws' three or four times now. It messes up his routine a little, but he enjoys it, they enjoy it, and I enjoy having a night off now and then. I wouldn't leave him overnight with a babysitter, but this is Grandma and Grandpa, and he *adores* them.
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#76 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 07:56 PM
 
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I wasn't away from DS overnight until he was about 30 months old. At that point he was weaned, routinely sleeping all night, and had even slept the whole night in his own bed (by his choice) a few times. I had a very lucrative 2-day freelance project several hours away and it seemed like DS would do okay (which he did--I agree with the sentiment that it was harder on me than on him ). While he was still night-nursing it was simply out of the question as far as I was concerned for me to be away from him overnight.
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#77 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 08:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna
My dd is almost two and I've never even considered leaving her over night. I've only left her for a couple of hours at a time and only with dh.
:
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#78 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 08:58 PM
 
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DD spent one night away from me when she was about 20 months old. But she was with Daddy. Then when DS was born, she spent 2 nights with grandma & grandpa, but in her own house. Last weekend however my DH took the kids to grandma and grandpas so I got two nights to myself. DS (14 months) had never been away from me for a night (he is weaned) but he did fine, in fact when I saw him again he scooted right around me in favor of seeing grammy!

Mightymoo - Mom to DD (6) and DS (4)
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#79 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 09:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ORxPlant
DS is 2.5 yo and we have no plans to spend a night away. He still BFs and co-sleeps. We hope to have at least one more DC so I suppose that will be our first separation.
Same here...dd isn't quite 2.5 yet but I've never spent the night away from her...and even if I cared too, there isn't anyone to care for her bc my mom thinks smoking 10 feet away from her, the smoke won't get to her....

She falls alseep with me in the evening while I am watching a show (the bit of tv I do watch) after nummies and then we go in to bed together...

We plan to have another so like you, it will prolly be our first separation, unless I can keep her in the hospital with me, as she would be more help to me than DH was....
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#80 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 09:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emmalina
Yuk, yes I had to be separated from my ds for 7 weeks while he was in NICU. It was total torture and that is enough separation for me until he leaves home I think!

Oye Yemaya oloto
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#81 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 09:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ericswifey27
While on the subject of separation from our little ones, perhaps someone has some advice for me?

My twin sister would like me to come for the birth of her son, due in November. I want to be there with her and my new nephew to be very much, but I would not be able to bring my 2 1/2 year old son. He would stay with daddy, grandma and grandpa.

Aside from the difficulty of being away from him for a week, there is another concern: He is still nursing several times a day.

For nursing moms who have been separated, what did you do to maintain milk supply? Should I pump? How often?

I may be gone for a week, and I want my son to be assured that I will
continue nursing him when I return.
I may be opening myself up for attack... but I'm surprised no one else has responded to this... IMO a week away from a 2 1/2 year old is not a good idea. I know your son will be with loved ones and with his daddy, but YOU are his primary caregiver and you still have an ongoing breastfeeding relationship. Perhaps I'm wrong about this as my son isn't yet two and I don't have direct experience in this area, but from my reading on attachment theory, a long absence, especially between the ages of 1 and 3 can do harm to a child, and to your relationship. A week to a 2 1/2 year old is a much longer time than it is to us. I don't want to sound judgemental or critical, but I think you may regret leaving your child for that long, and I feel it would be wrong of me not to say something. A great book to read is "Becoming Attached". I don't remember the author. It describes the despair of hospitalized children that were separated from their mothers. And how when reunited with their parents, they rejected them. Granted, they weren't with familiar family members (and daddy), so it was a much worse situation... I just don't think a 2 1/2 understands why Mommy went away and that she is coming back after a long absence. A few days I think would be OK, but not a week.

Sorry to be such a downer. I understand your desire to be with your sister when she gives birth.
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#82 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 09:31 PM
 
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I've been apart from my 5-year old two nights and one of those nights was when I delivered my now 18-month old. Both nights she was with my parents and she is very close to them.

I've never left my 18-month old.
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#83 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 09:53 PM
 
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Never been away from my just over 3 year old, never been away from the baby either. Until the kids can clearly talk and be understood by others, I don't feel comfortable w/them spending the night away from myself. Dh has spent a handful of nights away from us.
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#84 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 10:04 PM
 
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Ds is 2.5 and neither myself or dh have spent a night away from him. There's never been any reason to and I don't see any reason coming up anytime soon. My mom has expressed a desire for him to stay overnight with her but once she realised we still cosleep and nurse and have no plans to stop she's not pressed the sleepover idea much!
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#85 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 10:13 PM
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Ds is 4 and I've never spent a night away from him.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#86 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 10:23 PM
 
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Dd is 27 months, still nursing (day and night) and I have never spent a night away from her. My parents have watched her for an evening several times while dh and I went out...but I'm not sure when we'll actually do an overnight. I do know she will be with my parents for the first time though.

Happy Mommy to one amazing girl (6y) and one sweet boy (2y), and wife to DH since 7/03 : :
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#87 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 10:29 PM
 
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My twins are closing in on three years old and we have never been separated for a night (probably not for more than about 5 or 6 hours, when I come to think of it . . . )

Personally, since I haven't had any really compelling reason (hospitalization, new baby, etc.) I just don't feel comfortable with it until they are over three years old.

Dh's shrink (who was pretty mainstream, actually), said that extended separations of more than a night or two before age three can be very traumatic for a child, plus, I'm just not comfortable with it yet.

I have tentative getaway plans with a friend for my 40th b-day - and that's two years from now!
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#88 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 10:31 PM
 
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Hi, I didn't read any of the other replies I just wanted to ad mine.
I have a 17 m.o. ds whom I've never spent a night away from and a 4 y.o. dd who I was only away from for 2 nights when ds was born.
That's it.

dd does not want to spend the night away from me yet. And ds... I wouldn't feel right.

Lots of other mom's spend nights away and their kids manage fine. Mine wouldn't... you know you're kids and you know yourself. Follow your gut. There is no right answer.
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#89 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 10:35 PM
 
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Never spent a night away from my kids.

DS could handle it now.

DD (2) will have to wait a few more years.

If I had trusted family nearby (that she was used to) then I would do it (maybe).

10 - boy
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#90 of 113 Old 08-01-2006, 11:05 PM
 
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I have never spent the night away from my son either, even though he's pretty much nightweaned now. Don't plan to either. When he's old enough to tell me he wants to spend the night at a friend's or grandparents, then we'll do it!

Well, actually when I go into the hospital to have my baby, I'm sure I'll spend one night away. I don't count that one though.
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