survey: how many moms have never spent a night away from their toddlers? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 10:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd is 25 months and to date I've not spent a night away from her. We nursed until 20 months, but she night weened on her own at 15 months. We cosleep, although we've started to transition her to her own bed which is literally right next to ours, even the same level so it's more like an extension of our bed and she has access to our bed anytime she wants. I was in graduate school for the last two years, but graduated in May and am staying at home with dd while waiting for our second to be born (three more weeks!). anyway, I don't know anyone else of my peers who have young children who have never spent a night away from their children. Just wanted to see if anyone else has done it - is there something strange about it? Should I be having some more kind of life that involves mommy time away from my kids? DH reminded me that mothering (and parenting in general) is very personal and I shouldn't be comparing myself to others. I agree with him. It would be nice to know others with similar philosophies, though!
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#2 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 10:51 PM
 
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DS is 2.5 yo and we have no plans to spend a night away. He still BFs and co-sleeps. We hope to have at least one more DC so I suppose that will be our first separation.
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#3 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 10:51 PM
 
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I have -- I've spent a couple of weekends away at my best girlfriend's house. (My DS is 21 months.) DH and DS love spending time together, and they had a ball while I was gone. DH has gone away for the weekend since DS has been born, too. It's nice for DS to have extended one-on-one time with each parent.

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#4 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 10:54 PM
 
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I have never left dd over night. She is 19 months and we co-sleep and bf all night
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#5 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 10:55 PM
 
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My oldest is 6 and the only nights I have spent away from him were when DS2 was born 2 years ago. The babe had to stay in the NICU so I slept at the hospital for the 2 nights they'd let me and then spent 10 more days in the NICU, I did 7 hour shifts and would come home for bedtime and then go back and come home for breakfast. DS1 (who was 4 at the time) spent those nights in our family bed with Daddy.

I do go out about once a month with girlfriends and Daddy does bedtime those evenings. DH & I used to have weekly datenight, but we'd come home at bedtime most of the time.

DH & I moved out of the family bed into our own bed a few months ago when DS1 grew out of the toddler bed that extended our family bed. Now the boys sleep together and we're in the next room (there's just a doorway between us and their bed is about 6 feet from ours) and that's about as far away as I ever want to be from my sleeping babies

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#6 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 10:58 PM
 
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DD is 20 months old and I've never spent a night away from her. I think she'd freak if I tried and I'd be so worried I wouldn't sleep. Also, she still nurses a lot at night.

I'm pregnant with baby number 2 and one of the main reasons I was able to talk dh out of the hospital and into the birth center was because of dd and her need for her parents at home at night with her. She'll be more than welcome at the birth center and our moms will be in charge of her.

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#7 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 10:58 PM
 
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I wish I had never spent a night away from my toddler. DD is 13 months old and I've already been away from her for two nights, for a business trip. We cosleep and she still nurses all the time, including overnight.

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#8 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 10:58 PM
 
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Nope ds 21mo never been away from him at night. My dd was 5yo before I was comfy w/ her staying all night w/ my parents. Ds still does most of his nursing at night and dd night nursed past 2yo. So nights apart are/were not really a option.

 
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#9 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 10:59 PM
 
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I do evenings out with friends now and then, but I've never spent an entire night away from dd. She's 16 months and I really don't have any plans to leave her overnight any time soon.

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#10 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:01 PM
 
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I have never spent a night away from my soon to be 3 year old, although I have spent a few nights away from my 7 year old, before my middle and youngest were born.
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#11 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:03 PM
 
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never a night away and no intentions to do so anytime soon. he nurses a lot at night and is very cuddly, making sure i'm there.

one late night (12:30am) at a birth (which i left early, since they expected it to go slowly till morning when i was to return, but the baby came very fast to everyones surprise!) and ds napped but didn't really sleep. when i opened the door he sat bolt upright in bed from a resting snooze (according to dh) and said "MAMA" which i heard. he knew i was coming back cause i told him, so he was kind of waiting for me.

me dh ds1 (11/04) ds2 (7/10) and
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#12 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:03 PM
 
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22 months dd and have not spent more than 3 hours without her
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#13 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:04 PM
 
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I have- my mom takes her once a week over night and dd just loves it!
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#14 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:05 PM
 
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I've spent one night away from my 2 1/2 year old son for the first time about a month ago. It was hard. On me. He loved it (was with grandma and grandpa). I was the one who cried.

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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#15 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:11 PM
 
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While on the subject of separation from our little ones, perhaps someone has some advice for me?

My twin sister would like me to come for the birth of her son, due in November. I want to be there with her and my new nephew to be very much, but I would not be able to bring my 2 1/2 year old son. He would stay with daddy, grandma and grandpa.

Aside from the difficulty of being away from him for a week, there is another concern: He is still nursing several times a day.

For nursing moms who have been separated, what did you do to maintain milk supply? Should I pump? How often?

I may be gone for a week, and I want my son to be assured that I will continue nursing him when I return.

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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#16 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:15 PM
 
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nope, that wouldn't work for us at all.
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#17 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A friend of mine who was doing extended bf spent several days in new york away from her nursing toddler. she pumped ahead of time to stock up milk (which she said was surprisingly hard, so get started early to build up your supply) and dh gave the little one bm while she was gone. after she returned, they just picked up where they left off. hope that helps!
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#18 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:22 PM
 
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My dd is almost two and I've never even considered leaving her over night. I've only left her for a couple of hours at a time and only with dh.

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#19 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:24 PM
 
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i havent but in a few weeks I have to b/c my DH is in a wedding -- I am going to try to save some breastmilk for my tot..we'll see!
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#20 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:27 PM
 
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DS spent his first night away at age 3.5. Way harder on me than on him! He did wonderfully
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#21 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:33 PM
 
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i never have!
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#22 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:33 PM
 
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Kai is 26 months, and I have never spent a full night away from him. I have gone out a few times for half the night. I don't think your missing out on much; I prefer staying home with him.

Mother to two great kids. &
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#23 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:36 PM
 
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nope not comfortable with that yet! when Jenna was 8 months old my dh boss alway books a night away at Christmas holidays where we stay in like cabins on a lake. It is beautiful there. anyways i told my dh the only way i was going was if i could take our daughter, so we took her and his niece so she could babysit her while we had dinner. I think i got my soup before i got the call from the niece saying Jenna would not stop crying!
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#24 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:39 PM
 
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I still haven't spent a night away from DD aside from the 3 days she was in the NICU after she was born.

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#25 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:42 PM
 
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DS will be 23 months on Wednesday and he has never spent the night away from me. He night-weaned and moved into his own bed (both on his own) around 16 months but has never spent the night farther away than his own room.

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#26 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:49 PM
 
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I have spent one weekend away from him (DH's company trip) just a few months ago. He was home with Grandma and Grandpa (they came to our house to stay with him) so I didn't have anything to really worry about. He had a wonderful time but we missed him like crazy. I didn't really have the desire to leave him and I don't have the desire to do it again anytime soon. An occasional few hours out to dinner and a movie with DH is plenty of time away for us.

Mom to a 6 year old, a 3 year old, and a cuddly little newborn
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#27 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:53 PM
 
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My daughter has spent a few nights with her father, which I have never enjoyed. Apart from that I have never been away from her overnght. I don't believe she is ready for it, and I know I'm not. I miss her too much.

ETA - She is 2.5
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#28 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:57 PM
 
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I've never spent a night apart from my dd. She's 22 months old.

Kate, mom to 7 year old Djuna and 4 yr old Alden. Missing our good friend Hal the cat who died June 2, 2010

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#29 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:58 PM
 
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My 33mo has never spent a night away from me. He is nightweaned, but he still cosleeps. I think he would be okay having a night away if it was with someone he knows well (like one of my sisters) if they let him co-sleep. Don't know if they would be up for that.

I think it will be awhile before I have a night away though, because I also have a 10mo DD.

I must confess, I am looking forward to being able to go away to a B&B for an evening with my DP. But I figure this time when the kids are little is short, and there will be lots of time for nights away down the road.
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#30 of 113 Old 07-31-2006, 11:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks to everyone for sharing their perspectives/experiences! I do know grandma and grandpa would be overjoyed to have dd with them alone, but I can't see that happening for a while yet. I'll be away from dd for the first time when I give birth - don't want dd in the hospital overnight with all the risk for illness that is present there. but she'll be with dh or else the grandparents.

it was nice to read everyone's posts!
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