survey: how many moms have never spent a night away from their toddlers? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-31-2006, 11:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
Zuri'smom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 183
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dd is 25 months and to date I've not spent a night away from her. We nursed until 20 months, but she night weened on her own at 15 months. We cosleep, although we've started to transition her to her own bed which is literally right next to ours, even the same level so it's more like an extension of our bed and she has access to our bed anytime she wants. I was in graduate school for the last two years, but graduated in May and am staying at home with dd while waiting for our second to be born (three more weeks!). anyway, I don't know anyone else of my peers who have young children who have never spent a night away from their children. Just wanted to see if anyone else has done it - is there something strange about it? Should I be having some more kind of life that involves mommy time away from my kids? DH reminded me that mothering (and parenting in general) is very personal and I shouldn't be comparing myself to others. I agree with him. It would be nice to know others with similar philosophies, though!
Zuri'smom is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 07-31-2006, 11:51 PM
 
ORxPlant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Birthplace of baseball
Posts: 143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS is 2.5 yo and we have no plans to spend a night away. He still BFs and co-sleeps. We hope to have at least one more DC so I suppose that will be our first separation.
ORxPlant is offline  
Old 07-31-2006, 11:51 PM
 
limabean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 9,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)
I have -- I've spent a couple of weekends away at my best girlfriend's house. (My DS is 21 months.) DH and DS love spending time together, and they had a ball while I was gone. DH has gone away for the weekend since DS has been born, too. It's nice for DS to have extended one-on-one time with each parent.

DH+Me 1994 heartbeat.gif DS 2004 heartbeat.gif DD 2008 heartbeat.gif DDog 2014
limabean is offline  
Old 07-31-2006, 11:54 PM
 
rozzie'sma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Amdist the urban decay
Posts: 2,281
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have never left dd over night. She is 19 months and we co-sleep and bf all night
rozzie'sma is offline  
Old 07-31-2006, 11:55 PM
 
rubelin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,821
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
My oldest is 6 and the only nights I have spent away from him were when DS2 was born 2 years ago. The babe had to stay in the NICU so I slept at the hospital for the 2 nights they'd let me and then spent 10 more days in the NICU, I did 7 hour shifts and would come home for bedtime and then go back and come home for breakfast. DS1 (who was 4 at the time) spent those nights in our family bed with Daddy.

I do go out about once a month with girlfriends and Daddy does bedtime those evenings. DH & I used to have weekly datenight, but we'd come home at bedtime most of the time.

DH & I moved out of the family bed into our own bed a few months ago when DS1 grew out of the toddler bed that extended our family bed. Now the boys sleep together and we're in the next room (there's just a doorway between us and their bed is about 6 feet from ours) and that's about as far away as I ever want to be from my sleeping babies

Robin~ single, work-at-home momma to my WonderBoys
YoungMan (6/00) & LittleBoy (6/04)
rubelin is online now  
Old 07-31-2006, 11:58 PM
 
elmh23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Where it's hot!
Posts: 9,270
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD is 20 months old and I've never spent a night away from her. I think she'd freak if I tried and I'd be so worried I wouldn't sleep. Also, she still nurses a lot at night.

I'm pregnant with baby number 2 and one of the main reasons I was able to talk dh out of the hospital and into the birth center was because of dd and her need for her parents at home at night with her. She'll be more than welcome at the birth center and our moms will be in charge of her.

Mama of three.
 
elmh23 is offline  
Old 07-31-2006, 11:58 PM
 
SharonAnne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In NJ's farmland :)
Posts: 3,313
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wish I had never spent a night away from my toddler. DD is 13 months old and I've already been away from her for two nights, for a business trip. We cosleep and she still nurses all the time, including overnight.

"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams." 
SharonAnne is offline  
Old 07-31-2006, 11:58 PM
 
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: With Vin Diesel ;) YUMMMM
Posts: 14,210
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Nope ds 21mo never been away from him at night. My dd was 5yo before I was comfy w/ her staying all night w/ my parents. Ds still does most of his nursing at night and dd night nursed past 2yo. So nights apart are/were not really a option.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

MCatLvrMom2A&X is offline  
Old 07-31-2006, 11:59 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,048
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do evenings out with friends now and then, but I've never spent an entire night away from dd. She's 16 months and I really don't have any plans to leave her overnight any time soon.

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:01 AM
 
DreamsInDigital's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 12,020
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I have never spent a night away from my soon to be 3 year old, although I have spent a few nights away from my 7 year old, before my middle and youngest were born.
DreamsInDigital is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:03 AM
 
flitters's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 946
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
never a night away and no intentions to do so anytime soon. he nurses a lot at night and is very cuddly, making sure i'm there.

one late night (12:30am) at a birth (which i left early, since they expected it to go slowly till morning when i was to return, but the baby came very fast to everyones surprise!) and ds napped but didn't really sleep. when i opened the door he sat bolt upright in bed from a resting snooze (according to dh) and said "MAMA" which i heard. he knew i was coming back cause i told him, so he was kind of waiting for me.

me dh ds1 (11/04) ds2 (7/10) and
flitters is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:03 AM
 
sofysmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: colorado
Posts: 757
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
22 months dd and have not spent more than 3 hours without her
sofysmommy is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:04 AM
 
stellimamo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 2,699
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have- my mom takes her once a week over night and dd just loves it!
stellimamo is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:05 AM
 
ericswifey27's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: San Diego
Posts: 2,601
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've spent one night away from my 2 1/2 year old son for the first time about a month ago. It was hard. On me. He loved it (was with grandma and grandpa). I was the one who cried.

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
ericswifey27 is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:11 AM
 
ericswifey27's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: San Diego
Posts: 2,601
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
While on the subject of separation from our little ones, perhaps someone has some advice for me?

My twin sister would like me to come for the birth of her son, due in November. I want to be there with her and my new nephew to be very much, but I would not be able to bring my 2 1/2 year old son. He would stay with daddy, grandma and grandpa.

Aside from the difficulty of being away from him for a week, there is another concern: He is still nursing several times a day.

For nursing moms who have been separated, what did you do to maintain milk supply? Should I pump? How often?

I may be gone for a week, and I want my son to be assured that I will continue nursing him when I return.

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
ericswifey27 is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:15 AM
 
PancakeGoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 5,264
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
nope, that wouldn't work for us at all.
PancakeGoddess is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
Zuri'smom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 183
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A friend of mine who was doing extended bf spent several days in new york away from her nursing toddler. she pumped ahead of time to stock up milk (which she said was surprisingly hard, so get started early to build up your supply) and dh gave the little one bm while she was gone. after she returned, they just picked up where they left off. hope that helps!
Zuri'smom is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:22 AM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 42,826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dd is almost two and I've never even considered leaving her over night. I've only left her for a couple of hours at a time and only with dh.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:24 AM
 
mommy2julia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Drexel Hill Pa
Posts: 320
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i havent but in a few weeks I have to b/c my DH is in a wedding -- I am going to try to save some breastmilk for my tot..we'll see!
mommy2julia is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:27 AM
 
mrzmeg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: outside over there
Posts: 3,166
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS spent his first night away at age 3.5. Way harder on me than on him! He did wonderfully
mrzmeg is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:33 AM
 
mamademateo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 180
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i never have!
mamademateo is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:33 AM
 
Ahimsa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Somewhere in Time
Posts: 963
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Kai is 26 months, and I have never spent a full night away from him. I have gone out a few times for half the night. I don't think your missing out on much; I prefer staying home with him.

Mother to two great kids. &
Ahimsa is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:36 AM
 
Canadianmommax3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,805
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
nope not comfortable with that yet! when Jenna was 8 months old my dh boss alway books a night away at Christmas holidays where we stay in like cabins on a lake. It is beautiful there. anyways i told my dh the only way i was going was if i could take our daughter, so we took her and his niece so she could babysit her while we had dinner. I think i got my soup before i got the call from the niece saying Jenna would not stop crying!
Canadianmommax3 is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:39 AM
 
BookGoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Gryffindor Tower at Hogwarts
Posts: 6,266
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I still haven't spent a night away from DD aside from the 3 days she was in the NICU after she was born.

Normal is just a setting on your dryer.
BookGoddess is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:42 AM
 
broodymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Watching the rain
Posts: 7,286
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
DS will be 23 months on Wednesday and he has never spent the night away from me. He night-weaned and moved into his own bed (both on his own) around 16 months but has never spent the night farther away than his own room.

Chaotic uc.jpg homeschool.gif mama to 5 plus a bonus one on the way.  stork-suprise.gif

chicken3.gif

broodymama is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:49 AM
 
SomedayMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 945
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have spent one weekend away from him (DH's company trip) just a few months ago. He was home with Grandma and Grandpa (they came to our house to stay with him) so I didn't have anything to really worry about. He had a wonderful time but we missed him like crazy. I didn't really have the desire to leave him and I don't have the desire to do it again anytime soon. An occasional few hours out to dinner and a movie with DH is plenty of time away for us.

Mom to a 6 year old, a 3 year old, and a cuddly little newborn
SomedayMom is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:53 AM
 
thismama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Nursing the revolution
Posts: 12,099
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My daughter has spent a few nights with her father, which I have never enjoyed. Apart from that I have never been away from her overnght. I don't believe she is ready for it, and I know I'm not. I miss her too much.

ETA - She is 2.5
thismama is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:57 AM
 
pianojazzgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Montreal
Posts: 4,308
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've never spent a night apart from my dd. She's 22 months old.

Kate, mom to 7 year old Djuna and 4 yr old Alden. Missing our good friend Hal the cat who died June 2, 2010

pianojazzgirl is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:58 AM
 
ZeldasMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 3,371
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 33mo has never spent a night away from me. He is nightweaned, but he still cosleeps. I think he would be okay having a night away if it was with someone he knows well (like one of my sisters) if they let him co-sleep. Don't know if they would be up for that.

I think it will be awhile before I have a night away though, because I also have a 10mo DD.

I must confess, I am looking forward to being able to go away to a B&B for an evening with my DP. But I figure this time when the kids are little is short, and there will be lots of time for nights away down the road.
ZeldasMom is offline  
Old 08-01-2006, 12:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
Zuri'smom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 183
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
thanks to everyone for sharing their perspectives/experiences! I do know grandma and grandpa would be overjoyed to have dd with them alone, but I can't see that happening for a while yet. I'll be away from dd for the first time when I give birth - don't want dd in the hospital overnight with all the risk for illness that is present there. but she'll be with dh or else the grandparents.

it was nice to read everyone's posts!
Zuri'smom is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off