When should I worry? (late talking) - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-03-2003, 03:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd was born at home in a great homebirth. Right after she was born, I tried to nurse her, and she couldn't do it. I did *everything* and ended up pumping and using an SNS til her four-month birthday when, just like that, she started nursing like a pro!

Now, she will be two in May. She had no words! She has said Ma and Da before but not on a regular basis. She occasionially makes some sounds, but she never has been a "babbler."

We had her hearing tested about six months ago, and the last part of the test was inconclusive because the lady thought dd was losing interest, but she passed all the other parts.
She will usually follow directions if we tell her to do something, but she doesn't really like to look at books.

I think sometimes she gets so mad, cuz she wants XYZ and we can't figure it out, but thankfully that doesn't hapen often. I wish we would have taught her signing. We are starting now and she likes it. I would have done it from the start, but my ds was such an early talker, I thought she might be, too.

But I took a test on Baby Center or something for her for speaking, and she "failed" it completely.

Her doctor (who is amazing!!) is not worried. She saw her last six months ago, and said if she is still not talking at two years, we will talk more about it. She thinks speech therapy sometimes makes the parents feel better more than anything else.
But I looked into it and heard of Apraxia. It is a mouth muscle thing, and I thought maybe she has it, since that would explain why she had nursing problems as well.

I have gotten a lot of stories of "oh, my dc didn't speak til they were four and went straight to complete sentences!" etc. (And no one has ever said 'Nope, my kid never talked. Ever!" )

I am not really worried about her, I just wonder sometimes.
What should I do? Really, what *can* I do?

p.s. she was born about three weeks early, if that matters.
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Old 04-03-2003, 03:45 AM
 
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I know this may seem frivolous, but what you said about nursing actually leads me to ask this. Is your baby possibly severely tongue-tied? It affects the nursing relationship early on in a big way (I have personal experience with this with my last two children) and I have read conflicting articles regarding its effect on speech.
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Old 04-03-2003, 04:43 AM
 
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I just wanted to say that my ds will be 2 in May also, and has yet to really talk. He says "no". He has said three different words each one time only. ("kitty", "hot", and the name of my mom's dog) At one point about 6 months ago he would say "mama" every now and then, but he doesn't anymore. He sometimes says "hi" and "uh oh". And when he wants to switch sides nursing he says "oths" (for "other side"). That's it. I know his hearing is fine, and he understands almost everything I say. He has this whole communication system set up of varying kinds of pointing and kind of a high pitched grunt, and is actually very clear about telling us what he wants most of the time.

But it still gets frustrating sometimes, and I start to wonder when I should be worried.

Ds has always been pretty vocal though - babbling some, but mainly vocalizing a lot. I haven't talked to my doctor yet, mainly because we haven't seen her for about 6 months, but also because my instinct tells me that ds is fine.
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Old 04-03-2003, 11:22 AM
 
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Does she understand language well? Can you say "Go get your shoes" and she understands? My ds is a late talker. He's now 2.5, and didn't show interest in labeling things (pointing and saying a name) until a couple months after his second birthday, when he started saying "cheese." (He was and is very adept at communicating in gestures--not signing that I taught, but his own.) Before that he also liked to say things like "Whee!" as he went down a slide and other expressive sounds. He's on a roll now with words and likes to name colors as they appear, though it's something like this: "Ghee ghee (green), bu bu (blue), doo doo (yellow), poo poo (purple), why why (white)" etc. And names a lot of other things too, but often just says the first (or last) sound. He's definitely "behind" other kids his age, but he is soooo intelligent I hardly worry.

There is a book by Thomas Sowell called "The Einstein Syndrome" which describes a certain segment of late-talking children who are very bright and come from mathematical/engineering/musical families. (A lot of families were very worried and received early diagnoses of autism, etc. The kids were especially bad at test taking because of plain disinterest rather than inability but were marked as unable.) Typically they are boys speaking late, but there are definitely girls like this too.

PerfectLove and Oceanbaby, your kids both sound a lot like mine, understanding a great deal, not interested in books (other than turning pages or making up his own activity with them) and vocalizing plenty. Typcally these children Sowell describes are also late in potty training and can be very strong-willed. Everyone told me he'd be one of those who went straight to full sentences, but that is not the way it is going. He is so smart though, and has an amazing memory too.

Here is Thomas Sowell's web site on the book I described: http://www.tsowell.com/latetalk2.html and at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...450304-5018329
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Old 04-03-2003, 07:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hlsanders~
She was checked for tounge-tie soon after birth by different people (my midwifes, LLL Leader, etc.) and they said she was fine. Now though, I am thinking of everything~ maybe she has a moderate one that was unnoticed or something?


oceanbaby~
I don't know about my instincts on this one! I guess I am more okay than worried, but I just want to DO something at this point. I guess she is still only one! At least she is not the only one not talking.


Cindi~
Yes, she usually does what we ask her to. Sometimes though, she will go get the wrong thing or whatever, and it makes me wonder how well she does diferenciate specific sounds, not just hear noise, kwim? (Of course when she is sleeping, she hears everything!)
I will go check out those links. Maybe that will give me ammo for unwanted comments!




She loves to play that game "where is your (body part)?" and DH has been adding to the end of it "say ____!" It was a good idea, and sometimes she tries, but can't quite say it right, even 'Da'!

If I knew she was just a late talker that would be fine, I just want to know that she *will* talk normally.

Thanks, everybody, for the advice and support!
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Old 04-03-2003, 08:18 PM
 
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I was thinking tounge tie too. My dd had this and it was amazing the problems it caused and they kept saying it was mild. dd #3 is tounge tied also but is able to nurse without excrutiating poain but I am very concerned about how it will effect her speech.

Also I know you have heard it before but dd#1 was a late talker and she really went quickly once she started spitting stuff out. I think she was 2 when I really started worrying. my friend convienced me to wait 2 months before I started calling specialist and low and behold that is about all of the time it took. By 2 and a half she was cought up to her peers. We have now seent hatit is just her personality not to do something until she can do it well.It is a pain but what are ya gonna do.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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Old 04-03-2003, 10:10 PM
 
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Both my middle daughter and my newest baby, Kenny, have had their frenulums clipped. Until it was done nursing was excruciating for me and an altogether gaseous experience for them.

My husband is a 'mumbler.' I believe it has to do with his need to have his clipped when he was young - and yet, it was never done. My little Kenny's was so severe that his tongue looked like a bat's flapping wings when he cried - it even looked painful.

I don't know if that would affect speech that much (as in delay), but it does affect the breastfeeding relationship intensely - even if only minor.
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Old 04-06-2003, 12:11 AM
 
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I work in the therapy field and wanted to let you know to trust your instincts. My nephew has a similar speech delay, though with out any other noted difficulties (nursing,etc.). I consulted a friend who is a speech therapist and she said not to wait past 2 and 1/2 to get an eval. You just lose too much time. My sister's doc wasn't concerned about speech delays until after 3 years, that is just way too long too wait. Their little brains are just so "plastic" you don't want to wait too long to get things going!! My nephew did just get eval'd and did qualify, though my sister is seeing slow, steady progress independent of his recent eval. Don't be afraid of consulting a speech therapist, find someone with a good rep in your area. They have great ideas and information.
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Old 04-06-2003, 10:16 PM
 
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I am relieved to see this thread. My ds is only 15mo, but I already have people commenting that he doesn't talk yet...no mama or anything. He is ahead on his physical skills, but no apparent interest in talking. Makes it appear even worse because he looks so much older than his age...most people think he is around 2 1/2-3 judging by his size. When I expressed my worry to my mom she commented that "why does he need to talk...he gets everything he wants with how he communicates now"

We also have the problem with zero interest in books....other than to stack them, chew on them and generally play with them. I am a big reader, so this is really frustrating to me.

I thought the engineering/math/musical connection was interesting because I am married to a computer nerd (was an engineering major that changed to computer science, minor in math) who also composes, sings & plays music. He didn't talk at all until he was 3 or 4, but started with sentences. He also has a genius level IQ. I try to just tell myself he is taking after his daddy. He sure isn't taking after me...I am a big talker...although I am a bit of a computer nerd (I can program), I am more into theatre and music....have been big into public speaking since I was a kid.

This probably doesn't help you, but seeing this thread has helped me to remind myself he isn't the "only" one.

Mom to 10yo Autistic Wonder Boy and 6yo Inquisitive Fireball Girl . December birthdays.

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Old 04-07-2003, 01:29 AM
 
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I wanted to add that I talked to my parents about when I started talking, and although they can't remember the exact age, they remember that it was considered late, especially for a girl. I never babytalked - I just went straight to using adult pronunciation and language.

And in case it makes you feel any better, I test at genius level on the IQ tests I have taken!

I also wanted to comment on what someone said about their child not wanting to talk until they could do it just right. This is exactly how I feel about my ds. He is quite the perfectionist in the way he does things, and I feel that I just know that that is why he isn't talking yet. The few times he has said a word they were totally clear and distinct.

I have told myself that I will wait until a few months after 2 before consulting anyone. My Dr. is not concerned at all at this point. He is very advanced in his physical skills, and I hear over and over that kids tend to develop either physically or verbally before moving onto the other.
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Old 04-07-2003, 11:35 AM
 
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Hi,

I waited until my son was 2 1/2 and he did have a speech delay and is just now (3 1/2) starting to really communicate with us using words. He did alot of gesturing and had a lot of tantrums because we didn't understand what he wanted. My ped. didn't even notice he wasn't talking. He stopped asking speech questions at 18 months.

I feel you can just get him evaluated by either a Ped. Neurologist or a Developmental Peditrician and see what they have to say. It doesn't hurt and may help you feel better. Regular Ped. just don't know enough to always catch delays.

There is a gov't program that is called Early Intervention that is free and they will eval. your child for delays and you get speech therapy etc from them. I had a friend that was in EI so I got the # from her. Your Ped. should have the # to call. They cover from birth to 3 years then the public school system picks up at 3 years. My son is doing very well and I think EI and the school he goes to has helped him very much.

Good Luck,

Doreen
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Old 04-07-2003, 01:46 PM
 
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My son said his first word 'book' at about 20 months. After that only a few more words by the time he was 2 yrs. He said 'mama' just after his second birthday .

It is now 6 months later and he says sentences, paragraphs, novels, long made-up songs. His real speech explosion came after 28 months.

Try not to worry about. At some point your dd will be telling you and story that lasts 25 and you will wonder what you ever worried about.
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Old 04-07-2003, 03:30 PM
 
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What part of your child's hearing test was inconclusive?? Get her rechecked. Early diagnosis of hearing problems is very important!!
Your child can be evaluated by your school district for free. Keep a diary of your childs communication to share with your ped. or anyone else. Have you tried teaching sign language? I thought it was very helpfull with my daughter when she was pre-verbal! If the hearing test and evaluation come back normal, relax, your child will learn to talk!
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Old 04-09-2003, 11:53 PM
 
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Please go get Early Intervention. It's free. It's certainly highly possible that it's nothing major, but the poor kids are so frustrated. My 2 year old is saying almost no words. I had him evaluated by Early Intervention and they found him quite behind. They're goign to come in every week and work with him and teach me how to help him. My 5 1/2 year old has been in speech therapy for a year and a half and it has made all the difference. He can express himself and doesn't feel so frustrated. Yes, it's only speech therapy, but if it helps even a little what's the harm?
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Old 04-10-2003, 12:30 AM
 
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I agree that you should follow up on the hearing test. What a lot of people don't realise anyway is that hearing fluctuates, and some children will test fine one day or one week but have a severe deficit at another time.

Once you know there is no physical problem you can relax and think that your child will probably suddenly start talking in complete sentences, but it's prudent to rule out every physical reason first.

Hearing loss is very very common at this age and early intervention is important, imo. Without language children can get really frustrated and miss out on so much more learning. If your doctor won't test or refer, I"d change doctor to one who does take it more seriously.

Good luck!
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