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#61 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 09:51 PM
 
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I'd get a bandwagon of parents on my side. If the customer base is angry they have to take note. I doubt you'd have an easy time finding a parent there that wouldn't agree with you in this situation.

I also agree with attempting to discuss this with the director and if they do not change their policy - report them to their licensing board and let them know you're going to do it.

Even if you're leaving - I wouldn't do it quitely. Other parents would loooove to know if their school was doing something like that.
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#62 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 10:50 PM
 
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@ the sad little pencil squiggle composing your DD's "signature"

I agree with the PPs - raise hell.

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#63 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 11:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Note from today (not a Sad Puppy, just an 'oops' : ):

Dd had a little trouble using her listening ears and sitting still at circle time today. She had to be "special friend" several times and has continued not to listen and be kind.

WTF?!

In a year and a half we've NEVER gotten one single bad report EVER. From half a dozen different teachers. Nothing ever but praise and happy reports of her successes.

I can only presume that dd's behavior is reflecting the hostile and oppressive environment she's in now. My god.

I don't think homcare is the right option for her. She's too active and really has thrived in the stimulation of a classroom. She'd die of boredom at home with only one person to interact with all day, I'm afraid.

Maybe I can convince the Montessori school to take her early.
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#64 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 11:12 PM
 
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Now I have heard everything. I would pull her outta there so fast your head would spin. And I would tell every other mama and papa in the school about the "sad puppy" because if they are going to give that form to a two year girl, they are going to be pretty busy.

I'm so sorry you had to go through something so awful.
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#65 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 05:29 AM
 
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This is just appalling : - I would definitely get her out of there asap and yeah I'd make a real stink about it . It appears to me that your dd does not like her new 'teacher' if we can call her that, I think you need to take this to a higher level and make sure as many people as possible know whats happening.

Some folk have a real understanding and comprehension of children this girl just doesn't seem to have it and, IMO has chosen the wrong profession - it's great to say that you work with kids etc but it takes far more effort than many people think - it's hard work - not an easy way out - maybe that's the mistake she's made - gone into this thinking it'll be a breeze and now realising that every child is different and not a little robot doing exactly what they are told all the time.

Hugs to you and your wee one and please really think about taking her out it's not doing her any good being in this environment and it's only going to get worse. January is not too far away and taking her out for a couple of months won't do much harm, make sure that you have lots of fun things planned that you can do together and then send her to the Montessori in January - well, I would like to think that I would do that, good luck

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#66 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 05:50 AM
 
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I am so sorry!

On the other hand, don't assume the Montessori school would be better in this dept. It MAY be, but not necessarily. My nephew was in a Montessori that was very $, looked like the real thing (it was lovely), but when I heard firsthand how the teacher disciplined him, I was very surprised-- and not in a good way!

I hope you find a better situation! In the meantime, can she be transferred to another room?

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#67 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 06:01 AM
 
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This is just completely unacceptable. I used to teach preschool, primarily the 3 year olds class. Even at 3, we considered them babies- not small adversaries to be dominated.

My DD is nearly two. In your situation, I swear I would use up all of my sick time and vacation time- even take a leave of absence- and make the financial sacrifice, before I'd ever send my DD back to a place where two adults took her into a room, told her she was bad and forced her sweet baby hand around a pencil to sign that she agreed that she was bad too.

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#68 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 08:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by blessed View Post

I don't think homcare is the right option for her. She's too active and really has thrived in the stimulation of a classroom. She'd die of boredom at home with only one person to interact with all day, I'm afraid.

Blessed, homecare doesn't mean one person with your dd - my ds is in a terrific home day care with 4 other kids - its a ixed age day care, he is 22 months, the dcp watches her 24 mo dd, a 4 year-old girl, a 14 month boy, and a 4 month boy. ds gets tons of interaction, in a home setting, with a person I trust (and whose parenting philosophy I share). you might not find an ideal home day care right away - but your dd will get interaction and won't have her spirit broken in the way that you are describing.

Seriously, I'd pull her out of that place.
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#69 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 11:31 AM
 
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Childless people should not be given degrees in ANYTHING regarding children or the education of children. :

I have to respectfully disagree with that. I have known many teachers who started out childless and who are fine teachers. Also, what if the person cannot have children, but loves them and wants to teach them? Should that person be banned simply because of having no children?

I didn't have children for the first 6 yrs of my marriage. I was told I could not have any. I taught a teen class, with my husband, at our church. I suppose we should not been allowed to do that either?
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#70 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 11:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by blessed View Post
Note from today (not a Sad Puppy, just an 'oops' : ):

Dd had a little trouble using her listening ears and sitting still at circle time today. She had to be "special friend" several times and has continued not to listen and be kind.

WTF?!

In a year and a half we've NEVER gotten one single bad report EVER. From half a dozen different teachers. Nothing ever but praise and happy reports of her successes.

I can only presume that dd's behavior is reflecting the hostile and oppressive environment she's in now. My god.

I don't think homcare is the right option for her. She's too active and really has thrived in the stimulation of a classroom. She'd die of boredom at home with only one person to interact with all day, I'm afraid.

Maybe I can convince the Montessori school to take her early.
That describes nearly all of my preschool kids! None of them listen well all the time, none of them just go sit down in circle time the first time you tell them and sit still the whole time we're reading and doing activities. I agree that the environment is hostile and oppressive. Can you ask her if she would rather stay home with you til January or keep going to her school? Sometimes when kids are labeled as the "problem child" by the teacher they know it and don't like being there.

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#71 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 11:42 AM
 
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Wow. Just wow.

Now we are asking two year olds to do what old time Kindergarten teachers barely asked of 5 yr olds. This is good new for the makers of Ritalin. In fact, why don't we just start dispensing Ritalin with epidurals.
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#72 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 11:43 AM
 
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Blessed, if my memory serves me, you had encountered some serious problems with a previous preschool or daycare - something about a teacher physically restraining a child. :
This is not the same place, is it?
So tough, and I agree with pp's, I would not want my child in that school for one more minute. I would be raging mad.
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#73 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 11:46 AM
 
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Originally Posted by blessed View Post
Note from today (not a Sad Puppy, just an 'oops' : ):

Dd had a little trouble using her listening ears and sitting still at circle time today. She had to be "special friend" several times and has continued not to listen and be kind.

Well if this is the way they talk to little 2 year old kids, no wonder they have problems, I don't even understand their code language and I'm a college educated adult! I bet Ms. B told DD to put on her listening ears and DD was like Huh? Wha?

Anyway, yeah I'd try to take as much leave from work as possible to keep her out of there till you get into some better place. Do you qualify for FMLA or something like that?

Single mom of 2 boys
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#74 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 11:49 AM
 
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In fact, why don't we just start dispensing Ritalin with epidurals.


blessed the sad puppy report and toddler scribble signature are truly over the top. it is so ridiculous, almost any parent you tell that too will have to shake their head with dismay
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#75 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 11:53 AM
 
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I bet Ms. B told DD to put on her listening ears and DD was like Huh? Wha?



That poor sweet baby.
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#76 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 12:04 PM
 
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Blessed, home care doesn't mean one-on-one, necessarily. A dcp can be licensed for 6 or 12, if memory serves. There's plenty of social interaction.

ETA - Between the other kids dd plays with at her home-based daycare and all the cool things to do, we sometimes have a hard time getting her to leave at the end of the day. It's just way too much fun. I have to factor in a 10-20 minute transition where I play with her and with other kids.

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#77 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 01:56 PM
 
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I'm wondering what the teacher thinks blessed is supposed to do with that "oops" report. Spank a 2 year old for not using her listening ears?

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#78 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 05:35 PM
 
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Your dd only said "shut up"?
She should hear what ds said the other day! And 2 yo have no clue when they are saying a socially inappropriate word..they are just exploring the language.

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#79 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 06:29 PM
 
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I was one of those 'childless people working with kids, without my degree' and I did GREAT. Offers of nanny jobs and was 'responsible enough for parents to trust me to take their kids home if they were going to be late at work (many kids of MD's at the center I worked in). So education or lack thereof has nothing to do with ability in my opinion.

To OP-can you work your work hours/your husbands work hours to allow more frequent drop-ins at the daycare? Maybe at circle time? At times the staff declares to be problem areas? Could you have friends/family drop-in as well? Anyone who may be able to report back to you the actions of the staff and the actions of your child. In the center I worked in we had it set so that parents could see in through a window (staff knew they were looking but kids really didn't see them). We also had an area that parents could watch and listen to the kids, the staff, etc without staff in the classroom knowing. It was great and really kept staff on their 'best behavior' even though there was never an issue, the knowledge that we could be watched and not know it - GREAT incentive to be fabulous all the time.

Is is possible that the recent treatment your daughter has endured, IS making her behavior less than desirable: ? Something along the lines of she is getting cr*pped on by her teacher and so she is acting out as a result? Even if the acting out is not out of line, but apparently the teacher wants a bunch of automatons not toddlers:

I agree that if there is a way to get a different teacher or a different classroom you should really pursue it! Your child has been labeled by this teacher and the director and unfortunately they probably won't be able to see much good out of her, no matter how fabulous she is.

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#80 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 06:38 PM
 
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omfg i'm so speechless thats shocking

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#81 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 07:13 PM
 
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That is one of the most rediculous things I have ever heard about a daycare situation! Making a two year old sign something!!!??????
There's no way I'd let my kid in the same room as that woman ever again. I'd also talk to every other parent I could get a hold of to see what they think about it too.
How horrible.
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#82 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 07:38 PM
 
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: thats horrible!

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#83 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 08:12 PM
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Can you send a 'Sad Teacher Dog' report back to the teacher:

1. Teacher does not understand age appropriate toddler behavior.

2. Teacher does not properly explain terminology.

Please sign and send back to parent at pick up today.

Check out the Montessori school very well. I have issues with one of the teachers at the local Montessori school at the 18 month - 3 year level for similar reasons.
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#84 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 08:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Dh and dd toured the Montessori school today. Dh was really happy with how flexible they were. Like in one class, the kids were taking their naps early because they were tired that morning. And they didn't talk about putting dd in a classroom defined only by her age, but rather asked us to come with her for a half day (!) while she trialed the different rooms. Whichever one seemed the best fit would be hers!

Wow. Major difference.

Today when I dropped dd off two of her classmates were there. These are children whom I've known for 18 months and who know me well. These are happy, bright, interactive kids who normally rush over to greet me, sit with dd and I while I read to her, and are talkative and inquisitive.

Today these kids stood quietly over by the toys. They didn't smile or respond when I greeted them. Dd and I sat down, as I always have done when I drop off. She sat stiffly in my lap, just rigid. When I asked if she wanted to read a story she looked over at Miss B and didn't respond. I asked her again and she walked over slowly to the book rack, took a book out while watching Miss B, then ran quickly over and leaped into my lap, as though she was doing something wrong.

After we read I got up to leave and said good-bye to the other kids. They just looked at me sorrowfully. I said "Poor sad babies!" I made dh pick up dd 3 hours early today.

So I think we're going to be able to transition into Montessori pretty quickly. I'm definitely going to write a letter to the Licensing Bureau.

Oh please, I hope we get through this.
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#85 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 09:29 PM
 
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to you and your sweet baby. i hope you are able to get her out of there soon.

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#86 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 11:13 PM
 
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To be honest, when I found out that dd had told her to shut up, my first reaction was a surge of relief and pride :. I was happy to hear that dd was centered enough to be maintaining a sense of self in spite of the awful negativity of this woman. I'm quite certain that she deserved to be told to shut up .
totally!



Quote:
Originally Posted by blessed
Note from today (not a Sad Puppy, just an 'oops' : ):

Dd had a little trouble using her listening ears and sitting still at circle time today. She had to be "special friend" several times and has continued not to listen and be kind.

WTF?!
Dude isnt that the definition of a two year old?????? She's so gonna get canned.

I am a big fan of Montessori, and if you like the school you toured, go for it. THere are some whackjob Montessorans, but on the whole it'sa program that lets the kids channel their wiggles into activities that benefit them and keep them quite engaged.
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#87 of 183 Old 10-05-2006, 11:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lalaland42 View Post
Can you send a 'Sad Teacher Dog' report back to the teacher:

1. Teacher does not understand age appropriate toddler behavior.

2. Teacher does not properly explain terminology.

Please sign and send back to parent at pick up today.
:
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#88 of 183 Old 10-06-2006, 06:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Blessed, if my memory serves me, you had encountered some serious problems with a previous preschool or daycare - something about a teacher physically restraining a child. :
This is not the same place, is it?
Yes, this is the same place. Here's the link about that encounter.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...elp+me+process

I'll include this information in my report to the licensing bureau.
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#89 of 183 Old 10-06-2006, 07:20 AM
 
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Note from today (not a Sad Puppy, just an 'oops' : ):

Dd had a little trouble using her listening ears and sitting still at circle time today. She had to be "special friend" several times and has continued not to listen and be kind.

WTF?!

In a year and a half we've NEVER gotten one single bad report EVER. From half a dozen different teachers. Nothing ever but praise and happy reports of her successes.

I can only presume that dd's behavior is reflecting the hostile and oppressive environment she's in now. My god.

I don't think homcare is the right option for her. She's too active and really has thrived in the stimulation of a classroom. She'd die of boredom at home with only one person to interact with all day, I'm afraid.

Maybe I can convince the Montessori school to take her early.
I think now would be the perfect time for an unexpected visit to your dd's preschool. Go to observe both child and teacher. If they ahave windows up front, park across the street. Try to approach the building without being seen because your arrival will be announced throughout the center and this may cause the teacher to change behavior.
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#90 of 183 Old 10-06-2006, 08:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I shudder to think what her behavior is when we aren't around, because even right in front of us she raises her voice and snaps at the children.

For instance, once when I picked up dd the kids were coming back into the room from another play area. Dd's friend ran over to a rack of toys and Miss B shouted (literally) "Hannah! Leave those toys ALONE! I'm trying to clean UP!"

Honestly, if you heard someone at Target or the grocery store speaking in that way to their child, everyone would turn around and stare, shake their heads, and maybe comment to the parent. It was that inappropriate. Both dh and I have witnessed this on different occasions.

On another occasion dd was on a rocking horse on the playground. When she saw me she leaped off and ran toward me. Her friend, Hannah, jumped on the horse which upset dd because she felt like she lost her turn. Dd started crying. I went over and crouched by Hannah - whom I know well and who is a sweet, generous little girl. I was trying to explain to Hannah that dd was upset about losing her turn, and would she mind if dd got on the back with her so they could both ride? Normally this would be a simple solution with these kids and the girls wouls have ended up laughing together on the ride.

Instead Miss B starts bellowing from across the playground "Dd! Stop crying! Big girls don't cry! Stop it!" : Of course Dd cries harder. Miss B then threw her head back and loudly laughed, mocking dd's tears! I snapped at her "I don't see what you think is so funny!" and she mumble something about 'making light of the situation'.

It's clear that this is far more than just inexperience at this point. This woman has serious issues, as far as I'm concerned, and I already know that the director will not respond to our concerns.

I'll let the state board handle it.
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