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#181 of 183 Old 02-02-2007, 05:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You're so right! She's over it now, but for a long while, when frustrated she would shout 'shut up!', then stand there wide eyed and open mouthed, shocked at her own impertinence. We would just say 'oh, use nice words please' and redirect her without much fanfare.

Over time, when she didn't see the expected overblown reaction to her 'bad' behavior, she just let it drop away.
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#182 of 183 Old 02-02-2007, 05:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Crisstiana View Post
What an offensive and stupid comment. Plenty of people are childless due to factors they cannot control. This does not make them any less able to treat children with love and respect or to understand the needs of families.

After almost 7 years of TTC, I got extremely lucky and gave birth to a set of beautiful twins. This birth, as wonderful as it was, did not suddenly transform my brain and heart from a barren, cold wasteland into a bountiful, empathic garden. Had I been an insentive, brutish witch who treated kids like chattel I would still be so after the birth of my twins. Conversely, I know plenty of people with children who cannot seem to understand the basics of treating kids with respect and caring.

There are legions of women and men who long to be the loving, thoughtful, caring parents they know they can be. Don't add to their burdens by slinging such hurtful drivel their way.
while the comment is a bit harsh, i can understand the posters sentiment. I have seen so many many people change their outlook in parenting and how children should behave (or shouldnt) upon having kids (myself included). Its not fair to include all childless people in this general statement, but it is a very common happenstance.
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#183 of 183 Old 02-03-2007, 04:11 AM
 
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Dd continues to thrive at her Montessori school. She's happy, loves her teachers, has had literally nothing but uniformly positive reports and is considered to be one of the sweetest, easiest kids in her room.

I just talked to one of the parents from her old school today. Not much has changed. A couple of parents pulled their kids, and the ones who remain are those who consider Miss B to be a stern and demanding disciplinarian - which is something they approve of . The school did decide to bring a second teacher into her room, however, which is apparently in the works but hasn't happened yet. So maybe there is the recognition about Miss B needing more supervision.

We're just happy to be OUT of there.
I am so happy for you too. Thanks for the update, now that it has been a while. I sometimes think about the whole saga you went through, and it always makes me cringe.

A few comments, now looking back on some old posts (for those who are just now stumbling upon this thread, please note it is from way back in the fall)...

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What about proper education for this teacher? We want parents who have had children taken from them seek parenting classes to be reunited with their children. Why would we not want the same for teachers, or people in other professions?
As a foster parent, I find this comparison to be like apples and oranges. There is a huge difference in keeping in tact the relationship between a parent and child, and keeping someone in a particular career. How could one even compare the two? To do so would be to minimize the huge, life-changing, and horrific (but sometimes necessary) act of having a child removed from his or her family of origin.

I think sometimes people pick careers for which they are not well suited. Of course a person can learn some things to improve, but it becomes apparent at some point whether there is a significant limit to that learning. When children are involved, we have to be especially careful not to "save someone's career" at the expense of the children.

Quote:
while the comment is a bit harsh, i can understand the posters sentiment. I have seen so many many people change their outlook in parenting and how children should behave (or shouldnt) upon having kids (myself included). Its not fair to include all childless people in this general statement, but it is a very common happenstance.
I don't know. One of my sisters is childless but *amazing* with kids in a way I will *never* be, even after all the learnings I have had since being a mom. She is just a natural, and I will never be half the person she is when it comes to interacting with kids.

Maybe it is a common happenstance that many of us gain a lot of skills (and a helpful perspective) for interacting with children after we are parents. It was true for me, despite the fact that I was well educated on child development, had spent years preparing, etc. before having children. Though I still have seen enough people who didn't gain much in parenthood. But I wouldn't necessarily argue that is common happenstance for childless people to be unskilled with children.

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There are legions of women and men who long to be the loving, thoughtful, caring parents they know they can be. Don't add to their burdens by slinging such hurtful drivel their way.
So true. When I was going through the peak of my infertility dramas, I know such statements would have hurt me beyond belief. Absolutely been a shot in the heart.

Anyway, blessed, I am so happy for your family that dd is free from the old oppressive environment, and not only doing well in a new school, but a *Montessori* school to boot! Hooray!!!!

I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.
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